It's been an odd kind of week. The first week of the big transition......it totally would have been nice for it to start off on a relatively normal week. On the plus side it's been a good opportunity for the kids to see how to encourage someone. They have been around to watch me prepare cards and little treats and see his face when he sees all three of us come down the stairs with a card we all signed and a mason jar full of chex mix that Wonderteen made. These are the moments they learn from. Today they might be small but my hope is that they will stick and one day emerge in their own marriage, illuminated by a whole new perspective on what it meant.
Yesterday's verse: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29
(Note: As I share about this challenge I'll be speaking about the prior day...because, lets face it I'm not going to give away the days surprises. I know that Mr reads this and there will be no spoiler alerts!)
This "Husband Challenge" feels more far reaching than I anticipated. Its not just applicable to our husbands but to the world we encounter. Family, friends, strangers....anyone who happens to be in front of us. One of the effects I've noticed (but not been pleased with) is that where I've been disciplining myself to not bring down my husband, my words and tone have been a bit more negative with our kids. I'm trying to be more aware of what that is, why that is and trying to be aware of it before it is spoken instead of after. It could be due to the nature of this week......never truly alone, the sound of cartoons in my ear (like right now I have Spongebob yelling in my ear because the TV in the living room is literally 3 feet to the left of my desk), its not been a good week for sleep - Mr is restless and each night my sleep is filled with dream after intense dream that leaves me tired in the morning but without memory of what they were other than it was crazy intense.
The Lord is stirring something within me during this time that I can only describe as intense because I don't have direction for it. My desire is to get into my bible to listen and search but the house is just not equipped to provide the quiet I need at this time. Do you ever have those times where He just plants words, phrases and comments from all kinds of random sources that seem to be lit up in neon to pay attention to? That's what He's up to in my life right now. In that place where I know He is up to something because my spirit is so agitated that I can physically feel it....buzzing....vibrating with....I'm not even sure what yet.
There inlays an additional challenge.....pursue whatever this is that the Lord is pressing in with while maintaining an intentional focus on my husband without falling into a temptation to direct all my focus onto what the Lord is doing in my own life. Also....attempting to carve out moments to address these things with Him, seek out the scriptures He is presenting even though the timing is not convenient.... Maybe....these are part of the experience......testing my focus, working out those muscles of discipline and awareness. The Lord is never singularly focused. He is the multitasker of all mutitaskers. :)
Today, focus will be on my Mr. It's his birthday today! He has roughly a half day of studying but after that it will be a day of spoiling and fun! I can't wait to give him his gifts and see his face. He's been working so hard and has had focus I know that I couldn't pull off in his shoes, watching him makes me burst with pride and love and I may easily become the gushiest wife on the planet that makes people want to hurl.
But that's okay, I don't mind.
Blessings to you of edifying speech, a guard over your mouth that only allows passage to words filled with grace.