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Monday, April 30, 2012

a different monday.....a break to reboot and rekindle

Time for a switch.  I think I've been taking mental multitasking to a whole new level.....at least for me.  I need to slow it down and cut a few things out.  I determined that I'm taking a vacation from weight-loss.

What does that mean?  No counting.  No treadmill - unless I have a genuine desire to....but lets be real, it's unlikely to happen.  No pressure.   My LIFE is about paying attention to food, what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, how it makes me feel, what ingredients have changed and how I need to counteract it all.  It's a full time job all on its own. I think I need to step away so I can return with a refreshed desire for the goal.  The family challenge that we set about a month ago is off.  No one was really taking it seriously and it didn't have the motivational desire we thought it would.  Mr is going to continue to do his own thing and keep going.

I'm still going to weigh in every Monday like I have for the last year.  I'm not going to report it here for now though.   I'm still going to be watching what I eat and how much but I'm going to be focusing in a bit more on the balance of plants to grains....less of the white food and more of the colorful stuff.

Yesterday I watched "Food Matters" and "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"  and rebooted my attitude with food and why I need to be vigilant about what I eat.  Along with my attitude, my passion was rebooted.  I think that is something we all need from time to time.  We can get into a rut with our routines and the monotony of our own normalcy.  The shine and the passion can dull a bit bringing the need to go back to the roots, the beginnings of why we do what we do.  Renewal is good.  I really don't have a choice about how I eat, but I have a choice about how I look at it....what my attitude is.  These were excellent films on their own but they were especially good reminders for me.  A rekindling of the passion and joy that is found in eating natural whole foods and squelching the feeling of it being work.

My attention is needed in more important areas than my waistline. The Great Purge of 2012 must go on as well as the reorganizing that needs attending to.  As our family merges into a new era of life, its time to re-evaluate the efficiency of all the areas in our home so we can move into the next season ready to take on all the new challenges it may offer.  The Dude has his room re-do coming up - now that colors have finally been chosen.  We are in the very early stages of planning a screen porch build on the back patio....we will be building it with the generous help of friends time and energy.  We are planning a sweet 16 birthday party for our WonderTeen and there is just so much family goodness going on in all these things.

For now, this season, my focus is on slowing down.  Doing what I do with intention and joy. Purging not just our home of clutter, but my mind of hurry and life of excess.  Loving the process and the people it's all for.

While "weight-loss" and I may be on a break, I think I'll have lots of other things to chat about.

Blessings of a slowed down love bringing you back to your roots,
the Mrs.






Monday, April 23, 2012

weigh in monday - where oh where has the determination gone?

+.6.....I could use the excuse that I didn't get on the treadmill last night because my pelvis appears to not want to play nicely with the rest of my body and walking would not have helped.   BUT if I'd lost what I should have during the week then yesterday shouldn't have made a difference.

What happened to determination?  Not just mine either.  No one in this house appears to be taking losing weight seriously anymore.  No one is counting or watching the clock, making sure we don't eat past a certain time.  When did simply not gaining become praiseworthy?  This is silly!  We had goals!  We were motivated and determined!  Now there seems to be this slacker attitude that the minimum effort is good enough.  TWO POUNDS used to be the goal for ONE WEEK.....now, oh well that it's taken a month to lose that with the yo-yo weigh ins.  

This team needs a cranky coach to yell and put us in our lazy places.  BENCHED!  Though...technically that would defeat our particular purpose...

It seems to be a weird season right now....filled with milestones, full calendars and an abundance to be thoughtful about.  Spring simply won't fully emerge here and I've yet to start even one seed.  Our beautiful daughter is going to be sweet 16 one week from today - the party is delayed due to a crazy weekend calendar but still it needs planning.  As I dropped off our son this morning, I realized that the end of my driving him to elementary school was in sight....middle school is ahead.  Mr has been working like a mad man and putting in all sorts of crazy hours just trying to keep up.  There is our shift from "Home for now" to "this IS our home" and lists are being made for the various modifications, repairs and improvements that we'd like to accomplish...eventually (thanks to pinterest we have some visual aids).  First, we must decide what we can and want to accomplish this year.  I'm sure it will take years to get through the list but taking it out in manageable chunks each year will help.  We are purging the house like crazy...already about 4 storage tubs are filled.  SO proud of the kids for parting with things instead of hoarding their possessions.  It's the Dude's year for a bedroom remodel, WonderTeen had her's for her 10th birthday and now it's his turn. I love the idea of a more grown up room at those pivotal growing seasons - creating an environment with them that reflects who they are and can grow with them.   Softball season is starting for Mr, and there is golf league too.  A garden project at church.  Holidays and birthdays for important people coming up....

I'm sure there is more.....for goodness sake no wonder I can't concentrate on anything.  My brain doesn't know how to juggle!  Time for some serious lists and organizing.  Some delegating too.

Determination - I need you and your buddies energy and motivation to move in and kick some rears into gear!

Guess I'd better get to it!

Blessings of determined successes to you,
the Mrs







Thursday, April 19, 2012

beginning the great purge of 2012

Storage tubs are set out upstairs and down.  I've begun.

Funny thing is, I am seeing my perspective change.  Things I've kept because they were someone else's....but don't hold a true purpose...don't hold meaning anymore.  Now, they are space invaders.  I also found my first "didn't remember I had that" treasure.  A pretty set of antique silver in a silverware chest that I'd thought was empty.  I'm guessing they have been in that box for 10 years.  It was a set of my grandmothers that my mother gave me when I came to help her purge her own home....she died a few short months later.

Since making the decision that this will be our forever home, I've got lots of things I want to do.  Not many are very big but would make a big impact.  As I drive past "for sale" signs on some of my favorite roads, that familiar thought to look up the property when I get home hits....but it's followed with a "why?"  I have had to remind myself I'm not going to move.  Then I laugh. 


"Temporary" seems to be the way people live now.  We live in homes "for now" until we find one that is bigger and "better".  We purchase things in disposable containers, we buy things because they are temporary and we won't have to do anything with them later.  Cars aren't driven until they die, only until the cool factor does.  Clothes are not worn until they are no longer useful but until they are out of style.  Everything is temporary.  Our appliances are built to be replaced, so are our cars and clothes, dishes and furniture.  The sole purpose of the things that are produced now is to fail after a short time so they can be purchased again.

It's disturbing.

I began to realize just how that had gotten into my head.  That I'd never thought of anywhere we'd lived....I'd lived....as a permanent residence.  It didn't occur to me that I wouldn't move again.  There were things I did and didn't do with our home because of that very fact.  There is resale to consider and why put in extra work on something if you won't be the benefactor?   I'm seeing it all very different now.  It feels different.  Maybe because this is my workplace and my home.  Perhaps it's a stage in life, a marker that each of us hits at some point and it isn't at all unique to my experience.

Whatever it is, I like it.  Home seems to have a bit of a different ring to it.

Blessings to you for new joy in the old stuff,
the Mrs.

It

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

whooops....

I don't know if anyone noticed that I didn't post yesterday.....but I didn't.

Sorry.  I was distracted by attempting to be more productive and efficient with my time because I have noticed that my work has been slipping.  That kind of thing is always terrifically highlighted with the impending arrival of visitors.   Though my awareness was there already but.....magnified by the fact that people would actually be here.  With kids.  And helping my hubby to fix things we have no idea how to fix.....which means closing doors and keeping the lights off won't do the trick this time.   

Since downsizing our cable package to only one box (the DVR must be saved) the basement doesn't get used so much.  It had become a catchall for random things that just weren't used or needed a halfway house before they were donated.  It feels nice to walk through now and it looks like our house again.  

I've made myself some lists.  Things I need to reorganize, rooms, cupboards, closets....areas that have been neglected and "caught" too many items waiting for a final home.  I use to pride myself of the efficiency of how I ran the house.  I'm not sure where I lost that but I am determined to find it again.  It's time to purge and simplify this home we've decided will be the place we stay.  We won't be moving again.   We came to the conclusion that by the time the market turned around or we were able to right-side-up our mortgage, the kids would more than likely be out of the house (or close to it) and it would just be us anyway.  We don't need more space and I would have a hard time leaving my kitchen and garden.  

I'm slowly working my way through Rhonda's book, savoring each morsel and at just the right moment, when I was pondering what our future plans might be, I read this: "Let me be very clear about this: buying a simple home that is within your budget and can be modified to suit you and your family is the best investment."  There was a tremendous amount of wisdom to be found after that too but the logic here was beyond argument.  Stay put and modify where you already are.  

I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.
Phil. 4:12-13

Its interesting to start looking around - for the first time - and have to remind myself that we can make changes and not think about how it will affect "resale value" because we are settling in.  This place is ours to shape and change to what suits US.  Its a really comforting feeling.

Perhaps just what I needed to reignite my motivation in my work.

Here's yesterdays weigh in details:
A whopping -.2 but a loss is a loss right!  The whole family lost, which is good but collectively the three of us lost 1 whole pound.  That is rather sad.  I think motivation has taken a vacation.   We need to call it back home!

Blessings of warmth and springy blossomy goodness to you, 
the Mrs

Monday, April 9, 2012

weigh in monday 24...?- who's really counting anymore anyway?

Lemon tartlets.....I blame you.   +1   I am not the only one who gained though.....we ALL did!  I'm fairly certain it's my fault though because dessert was basically what we all gorged on.  I made lemon tartlets in muffin tins, banana bread and cream puffs.   Yeah....it was yummy.

We did however go for a walk last night on the nature trails by our home and went about 4 miles.   I think out of everyone I probably got the most physical activity out of that because Dude was on his bike and Mr is tall as all get out.  So in order for me to simply walk next to his lanky handsome self, I need to double time my steps.  He is 1'3 taller than I am.  Yes, I am short....but even more so - he is just crazy tall at 6'6.   Anyway, so he pushed me a bit and we even jogged for a tiny bit, I was able to keep up with him too!  Granted....he was probably going slow, for him.  Ah well.

Guess we all need our rears kicked into gear because the penalty jar is eating way too much cash.

Starve the jar......that needs to be our motto.

Blessings to you this day for joy and productivity!
the Mrs.

Friday, April 6, 2012

a Good Friday indeed

Some times, more than others, the clear markers of beginnings and endings are more welcome.   Mondays and Fridays are clear markers of time for me.  Weekends just kinda float around, hovering like a cloud of pretend vacation.  They are an entity all their own...filled with both recovery and preparation.

This week wasn't what I expected, it wasn't full of productivity in my home or gardens....instead there was a very active hamster in my head that just wouldn't give up his wheel.   His sweat became my tears, his body aches became my heartache. Unfortunately he kept the endorphins for himself and didn't share those.  Selfish bugger.

Keeping focused on the positive in all things, the ability to laugh and see the silver lining, the lovely in the disaster.....is an attitude I try so hard to maintain.  When the heart aches and the mind reels from the sheer extremes it encounters in a short period of time.....the dizzy spinning makes it hard to maintain focus on any one thing.

This morning I am struck with opportunity.  The hustle of morning routine is cut short, no school today means there is only my Mr to send off this morning.   As I approached my desk with my big mug of coffee (it's a big mug morning - yes, yes, I know that's more points because it's more dessert than coffee. Stop pooing my parade...I'm trying to be positive here), I noticed the sun shining in the dirty front window and smiled at the highlighted "nose art" the little dogs left behind.  Mr called as he pulled out of the driveway because he didn't want me to miss seeing the pair of ducks just sitting in the front yard.  From where I sit right now I can see the beautiful pale green of developing leaves emerging on once bare branches.  Stuff to smile about.

Growth is usually accompanied by growing pains.  Also accompanied by some awkwardness as things slowly find their balance again.  Growth is tremendously valuable....as is pain.  There are few other things in life that allow us to come along side each other and provide comfort.  To be able to say "I understand" as a truth is a comfort that cannot be purchased.  To have people not just speak but show you how valuable you are to them, what you have added to their life, is priceless.

Make it a priority in life to both speak and show people how much value they add to your life.  Write letters, bring flowers, hugs and words of praise and encouragement. Speaking and showing are both equally important, sometimes verbal words ring hollow but physical efforts - pen to paper, time to write it out, time to choose something that has meaning deeper than appearances, the knowledge of being thought of beyond your use - "I saw this and it reminded me of you" - there are a million ways to show someone without grand gestures.  Often, those simple little things are the grandest gestures....the most cherished memories.

A simple letter.  I wrote here how I felt I should share with someone the positive impact they had on my life. Never had I imagined that she questioned her value or that she'd made any positive contribution to the life of another.   It was one of those moments where the impact my letter had on her, snapped back and impacted me as well......that we should never assume by appearances, actions or assumptions that anyone truly knows how valued they are.   When we assume they know just how loved, amazing and valued they are we are withholding blessing from them......  Depriving them of a gift, where we step in and give them a gift that beats the devil back for them and stop the mental momentum that they are completely disposable and wouldn't be missed if they were snuffed out right this moment.
Imagine that moment in a movie where the bad guy is standing just behind a door, gun in hand, facing their next victim.  All of a sudden that unknowing person flings open the door, smashing into the bad guy, knocking the gun away and the bad guy out cold.  Saving the other person without having even been aware that anything was going on.  Without intention, they are a hero.  You can be a hero simply by telling someone else, that they are yours.
As people we are much more apt to share with someone when they have offended us, than when they have had a positive impact on us.......when you really stop to think about that....it's kinda twisted.   Reproof and correction are necessary for growth in life, I'm not saying it shouldn't be addressed but the balance is what I'm concerned with.   Anger and rejection are more often aired out than encouragement and blessing....praise of an other's greatness.  
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
a stranger, not your own lips.
Prov. 27:2
Its important to praise goodness.  Everyone needs encouragement.....it brings balance to the lies, the negative self talk......the temptations of the enemy to bring us right back to the dirt with him.  We need to be quick to praise....quick to see the lovely in those around us.....even when we have to dig deep for it.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
as God in Christ forgave you.  Eph. 4:32

Blessings for tender and forgiving hearts this Easter, may He shine through you and on you.
the Mrs.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Stripped

Have you ever felt so stripped of value by people that you had a hard time shaking the feeling?

Been around people who at one time thought so highly of you that they would call at all hours just to receive advice or comfort from you.....then, as if some alternate reality took over....it seems that any words you speak need correction because they must be wrong?

The sheer extremes of it so boggle my mind each and every time it takes me days to attempt to disengage my emotion from it.  A fact I do not like to admit.  My value and self worth is not wrapped up in the opinions of others....especially those who reject me so deeply......but yet, it still hurts.  If I had done something to deserve such disdain (if I have I do not have a clue what it is) it might be easier to accept something I deserve.  If it had been swift and direct, that too might be easier to process.  The slow push, the gradual process of watching people back away, change how they speak to you and to feel the process of being devalued, unneeded, unworthy....unloved.....by a group of people you poured yourself into for so long.....I admit, it leaves a wound easily reopened.

The positives abound but the emotions of it.....are just a little harder to shut down.  To be so looked down on by a stranger would not be a blip on the radar but to be so looked down on by people who were so close....

My request is that He shows me the value in the hurt.  That He reveals areas where I need to change and if I simply need more grace to give, that He teaches me to do that.  If my value is too found in the eyes of others, rather than Him, that He reveals that and shows me how to correct it.  All experience has value, even this.

Look for a lovely thing and you will find it.

Blessings for an abundance of lovely among the thorns, 
the Mrs.

Monday, April 2, 2012

weigh in monday 22? - I'm starting to lose track....

Today's weigh in was stellar......compared the last, well, several.  -2.4   I feel like I'm back on the wagon.

It was an intense week of way too heavy things to process and it knocked the funny right out of me.  In fact I am exhausted.

Though....I am in desperate need of shorts to cover up my chicken legs.....or uncover them...  I get way to hot to wear pants when it's like 60 degrees out.  Though the interesting revelation is that my hypothesis may be correct.

The more weight I drop the more likely I am to wear something skirty, dress-like or feminine in a non frilly kind of way.   I need to work on this front pouch and it's flattening.  The trouble with carrying all your weight in one area is that eventually you are a bit like an impractical kangaroo......you've got the pouch but it's completely useless without an opening.   Kinda like those suit coat pockets they sew shut, they're just for looks......but.....the opposite.   Cuz this don't look good.

Anyhooo........time to rifle through my pin boards looking for ways to "flatten that tummy", "get rid of that pooch" and etc.

Currently I don't believe there is enough caffeine in the world to keep my eyes open.  I'm looking forward to sleep but there is just too much to do.

In other news.....my calendar is taunting me.....the original deadline for my goal are right there with the flip of the page.   No way to make it now unless its surgically removed or God removes it......preferably while I sleep Lord, I know You are reading.

Blessings for an amazing week and perspectives that point out all the good bits in every situation,
the Mrs.