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Monday, October 31, 2011

week 1 - Score! and other awesome stuff

So - weigh in day!  Am I smiling?  You bet yer sweet bippy I am!   What was that goal again?  Minus 2 pounds?
Are you sitting down?  -4.4   HELLLO!  Yes.  Yes and double freakalicious yes!  I did not know I had that in me.....which apparently is now out....so to speak.

I spent the week reminding myself that two pounds was hard.  I set up reminders to drink 3 20oz bottles of water a day and two cups of green tea - always loose leaf cuz 1, it just tastes WAY better and 2, it IS much higher quality for less and I can feel the difference.   I stopped adding sugar to the tea....cuz that's a whole extra point.  So even though I enjoy it much more with the sugar, I will drink it without and hope my taste buds get the picture....if not, I'll just chug it like medicine.  It is SO worth the effect it has.  

Exercise came easier than I expected - but I think it's because I didn't make a plan or a rule....ah rebellion, take that......I was on the treadmill at least twice and even did some wii fit boxing a couple of times.  It's not much but it's something!   Food and portion was my concentration.  If I got hungry between meals I searched for fruit.  I bought grapefruit because well.....it's yummy and those acids just do good things in the gut.

OH - and I made this:
frozen banana bites - yum!

Pinterest strikes again.  Lovely, perfectly ripened banana's dipped in smooth milk chocolate with a dusting of mutilated walnuts.   I say mutilated because I took a metal ice cream scoop and beat them to a pulp.  :)  With the ingredients that I used each bite is only 1 point...but 5=4 points which is just even more awesomeness.   

So now - back to this weeks goal - 2 lbs.  I'm excited to see what I can accomplish because I never thought I would more than double it but what an awesome way to start!  

Tonight we are going out to dinner and to a movie.  I'm excited to have fun with my guys and the Dude has no idea we are going out and ending the night seeing Real Steel.  He's gonna love it!

I'll try to be back tomorrow....I know I am not good at this daily thing but I'm trying. 

Have a wonderful day, however you choose to spend it!
Blessings and less fluffy love, 
the Mrs.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

ceaseless

Relationships and communication can be a struggle sometimes.  The world is constantly talking to us about US.  Products, advertisements, articles, news, radio, christian or secular.....they all come at us from a similar perspective.  It's about you - what are you doing, wearing, going, saying, thinking, eating, praying, serving...how do you look, what do others think about you, what does it say about you.....before you know it....you've let it become about you.

I know that in my own mind I've been stuck in that rut.  I try to force myself out for a while, a moment, an hour, longer.....but then I'm right back in that rut without even realizing it.   Hmm.....here again, we arrive at goals.

Do you find yourself muttering to......yourself?   Rehearsing a conversation or rehashing one that is long since over but now that you've had time to think about it you would be so much more articulate?  I do that.  I've always had that struggle.....I'm sure it's insecurity.....and possibly part inherited because I've noticed my father doing it since I was a kid.....maybe its a weird gene....    Whatever it is, I'm setting a goal to stop it.  Again.   Granted I've had this goal for years and many times.   The goal is not just to stop, but to replace it, with conversation with Him.

My Lord who wants me to share with Him what is on my heart because I want to talk with Him.  There was a time in my life where I'd reached a spiritual mountain top of ceaseless conversation with the Lord.  I would talk with Him silently while in conversation with others, while doing the dishes, folding laundry.....He was my constant companion in everything I did.   I could feel Him near and it became so natural and automatic, I couldn't not talk to Him.....it was a beautiful relationship.  

While I love Him dearly still, somehow....through the ups and downs of life and trials.....my focus got distracted and it came off of Him and on to me.   Our conversation went from ceaseless to sparse, from conversation to "prayer".    That kind of formal thing where you are asking for help and stuff but not really having a conversation where you are waiting for the response.....because you expect one.   Often I feel like prayer - for me - is a one way conversation where I  am talking at Him instead of with Him.   I miss the with.   For too long my focus was on going back to where I used to be, the old mountain top.  He has shown me that the old mountain top is gone but I learned valuable things there that I can apply to climbing a new mountain top with Him.

Like everything there are steps.....I cannot fight my human nature so completely that with a snap of a finger I can just jump up there.   The Lord uses things to teach us, stretch and grow us through discipline and training. We are to "train yourself for godliness" 1 Tim 4:7.   So in the same way that I know that I know the Lord can do whatever He wills in whatever way He chooses.....that He can just as easily drop me on that mountain top as cause it to rise up beneath me.....He doesn't want me to arrive there not knowing how I got there.   He loves me too much to take away the learning process.   If I don't learn how to get there, how will I know how to stay?   I have already learned the value of His constant company by having lost it.....not because He left, but because I did.   It is never He who leaves or abandons us, it is always us who provides the distance.(Heb.13:5)  We get distracted and remove our focus from Him, we walk off to explore instead of walking with Him so closely we can feel His warmth.

So my ultimate goal is to climb that mountain with Him.  The first step is to relearn how to hold my mind captive - 2 Cor. 10:5 - so that my flesh does not rule.

Each time I catch myself mumbling, rehearsing, planning a facebook or blog post.....I stop.  I apologize and I begin to have the conversation with Him.   It is a discipline and a challenge.   In the past.....on that old mountaintop......it was out of an earthly need in my heart, an ache that needed filling.  I had no idea there was a book about it.....people long before had written journals about their experience in this practice.
"Practicing His Presence" By Brother Lawrence/Frank Laubach   
It is small, beautiful and draws me in every time....the sweet familiarity....

Now, in this season as I approach a new mountain....it is not an ache I need filled.....it is a longing for a rekindled relationship, a missing of the closeness we once shared.  A void that can only be filled by Him.

The new goal - that can have no timeline - is pursuing the ceaseless conversation.

....I think there is only one step.....talk to Him.


Love and blessings,
the Mrs.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

cuz its good to have goals?

Goal setting does not come naturally to me.   I've never had a five year plan or had any sort of aspirations beyond growing in my faith or character.......or growing out my hair (duh, don't cut it.  gee that was hard.)

So I've been thinking about how often I've failed at losing weight.  How many times I've tried, had success and then as soon as real change it seen...I drop the ball.   I get too comfy in that spot and all of a sudden, it starts creeping back on.   So as I realized that I lost my happy little "5% lost" star in Weight Watchers - it turned a very sad grey - I realized I need to stop the pattern.   I need to find a new way to do this.

I've read all kinds of inspirational stories and they get me all ramped up but that only lasts until the next morning.  Then I'm too preoccupied taking care of my family and just doing my daily job.  So I started to wonder.....why do I slip?  How to I set a new focus, a different one than I've used before?  Well....all of a sudden I realized that I don't know how to make a plan to get from point A - choosing the goal, to point B - the goal itself.    There are all these in between steps and mini goals that seem so random and cloudy.  Other people seem to get the specifics much better than I...who seems to choose the goal, visualize it as a reality and then wander off into the woods without a map.

SO.  It's time for a plan.
Since focusing on a long term goal doesn't seem to maintain my attention, I need short term ones.  I know, I know, I know all about setting a 1 month goal or a 10 lb goal........weight watchers has those percentage goals....which are awesome....BUT my brain is not registering that.  The math or the time frame...whatever it is, it just doesn't have impact.  I've been wandering through my week, counting or not counting points and waiting to see how much I will get to record that I've lost that week.  Instead  I need to set a weekly goal.   That is the kind of "short term" I need.   Something reachable, something I can actually wrap my brain around and not wait for but work for.

So here's what I came up with (if I've done my math right):
The big picture is 50 lbs lost between October 24th and April 16, 2012.   (This does not include any weight I've already lost.)
That's 25 weeks from now - weigh-in days are Mondays.
Which equals a short term goal of 2 lbs lost per week.

Weight watchers says not to lose more than 2 lbs per week for real, sustained, long term loss.  So 2lbs is within a safe and realistic zone.   I haven't chosen something crazy or beyond my grasp.   I have hit 2 lbs twice at this point.  So it will give me something to work for and be intentional about - with only one week to focus on it.   Then, move on to the next 2 pounds and the next week.  I have a little box on every Monday from next week through April 16th to mark out my losses.    Our family Christmas celebration happens to fall on a Monday so I have a "midpoint".....well, kind of mid point......goal written in my planner on that day to have hit (at least) 29 lbs total lost since I started - and 18 of the 50.   I'm hoping that as the holidays near that gives me extra incentive to stay on track so that I can add this to the celebration that day.

Maybe there should be some sort of midpoint "reward" or celebration but ....I can't think of anything right now.  So for now that's the details I've worked out.   I'm not adding any extra requirements on myself or putting workouts into my schedule.....once I put too much structure or "rules" on things that's when I start to screw it up.    I'm going to let that happen on it's own.  

I think that this is something I can actually pull off.  Feel free to hold me accountable and ask me whats happening if I don't mention it for too long.    It's time to feel comfortable in my skin again and to simply be good to my body and bring it back into a healthy shape.

So far so good this week!  Actually I've already surpassed the 2lb goal for the week BUT no counting chickens before they hatch! :)

It's time for one day at a time.  I'm working through today, and I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow and Monday when it gets here.  I honestly think that the Lord is going to do wonderful things with this journey and will use this in other areas of my life - to grow and nurture me in other ways.  I'm excited about the possibilities and to see what is in store.

Love and blessings to you,
the Mrs.

Monday, October 10, 2011

just another manic monday........

OOOOO, ooh, ohhhhhh

SO today I am babysitting my great-nephew.  He's nearly 4 and a super talker!  He is hilarious.  We have already debated the yummyness of boogers - I took the con side.   Discussed what monkeys eat - apparently they swing from trees to pick and eat corn.....cuz that's where the corn grows ya know.   Then he made me laugh hysterically when he started a rendition of "brown chicken, brown cow" from the backseat.   Oh this kid is funny FUNNY!   And he quite obviously picks up on anything said around him.

We have gone to the grocery store - wow, I haven't done that with a toddler in a LONG time!  He's a good kid tho so it wasn't too hard....just lots of questions and remembering to keep the cart just far enough away from things to keep him from grabbing them.   Now we are in a Disney movie marathon.

So today, I'll try to get some laundry done and my plan is to get chili going.   I just know my Mr will be overjoyed at that one since he's been asking for it. :)  Babysitting throws me off just a bit but I think I compensated well by tackling most of my grocery list last night, so it's one less thing on my list today.  Oh man....just realized I haven't even written today's to do list down or flipped the page to this week in my planner.....see....penny on the railroad tracks.  Derailed already!   Oh well!   It's a joyful derailment! :)

Random mention here: I have to say that Pinterest has totally made coming up with new meals easier.  Not to mention keeping track of the recipes!   I am horrible at writing things down especially when I'm in a hurry but with this, I can peruse when I have time and then just pull it up when I'm ready to cook or make my grocery list.

Alright - time to gather up all the clothes and then get some lunch going!

Hope you are all starting off your week feeling blessed!
Blessings and love,
the Mrs.

Monday, October 3, 2011

So much for consistency!

Okay....so I said I'd be writing more about life in general and not limit myself huh....so why haven't I been on?

I am still not in the swing of the season. Strangely it's taking longer than usual BUT I have pulled out my schedules again and am going to get back on track.  I have seen so many people have routines in their Homemaking binders, or whatever you may call yours, and they all vary so much.   I came to the conclusion that a rotation worked best for me.  So I work with four sheets, one for each week of the month and I have four sets - one for each season.  Because lets face it, I'm not gardening in February when there is 5 feet of snow outside.
I also got myself a day planner....hmm....maybe I mentioned that already...anyhoo...so far I feel like it's helping.  As the kids get older and with my Mr's work stuff I need to keep things organized or something will fall straight off the radar!
Here's my schedule and day planner.  I have a copy of my schedule in my binder (of which I now have two! - one for home and one for family) but the ones I use are in plastic sleeves and held together by a metal ring.  That way I can move them easily from place to place without messing with my binder but still keep track of what I need to be doing.

I am in an epic fail cycle with weight watchers.   Before school started I took a break from counting and managed to hold still for nearly a month....then....September hit and I just seemed unable to get back on track and I couldn't figure it out.  Now we are in October and I have regained about 5lbs - 5! It may not seem like much but considering where the weight goes and my 5'3 frame - they are visible.  TOTALLY visible and they mock me.  Lame.   SO, I had some sort of light bulb moment and realized that my fairly extensive vitamin regimen was off.  I hadn't taken vit C in weeks and a couple of other things were out.....so I wondered....and then I read some random link between hunger and vitamin C levels and figured, what the heck! SO I reordered and restocked - and guess what just came to the door!

Yup those are all mine.

I've never been so excited to pop pills. :)  Hopefully I can get my body back to feeling normal - for me - and crack the whip on points and getting activity in daily.  Something has got to give!  

On other notes - today is the 13th anniversary of the day I married my Mr.  All those years ago people didn't think we'd make it.  It was silly for us young 21 and 22 year olds with a little one to think we could be grown ups.  But we did it. Today I am so proud of our story.   I am so thrilled and blessed to have had a front row seat to watch what the Lord was going to do in our lives, how He was going to grow my Mr into such an amazing (not to mention smokin hot) man of God.  Our anniversary is so cool because it's also the anniversary of us becoming a family.  I got a package deal - wife and mother in one swoop!  She's gone from my punkin head to my wonder teen - she went to homecoming last weekend!  Craziness. 

Happy anniversary to the most amazing man I know.  I could not have dreamed up a man as wonderful as God has made you.  I am blessed to be your wife and with each year I fall more deeply head over heels for you.  I love you so much!

I'll be back......hopefully sooner than later.... :)
Blessings, 
the Mrs.