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Saturday, September 17, 2011

permissions and restrictions

I have begun and ended several blogs.  Some public, some private.  In the end the failure comes from the rules I set up in my own mind.
I read many blogs.  Some have focus on one particular area or topic, some are just sharing life...They are done well and I've learned many things from reading.  When I set out on this particular blog "fit for him" I intended to focus in on just my journey of searching out what it meant to be a godly wife.   I intended stay put right there and not drift off to other topics.   When something came to mind that I didn't think fit into those parameters....I determined I couldn't post about it and therefore...there was no post at all.
I restricted myself right out of my own blog.  Brilliant.
I was reading a new blog yesterday and this woman talked about giving herself permission in certain areas of life...it  sparked thoughts in my mind and  once again I found myself, telling myself, that it didn't fit....no post.  Then I remembered reading a post from someone long ago where they said.."its my blog.  I'll write it if I want to."   And I thought.....I'm giving myself permission.  It's my blog.  I need to take it out of the box.
Then as I puttered around I began to think about what I've been doing and thinking over the summer.  The thoughts and experiences I've had...seasons in life and in nature that rotate through.  I contemplated if the title needed changing.....if I opened wide my subject matter to all things, thoughts and seasons.....would it still "fit"?
Yes.
In all seasons and rotations I am both striving to be fit for him, while simultaneously being fit for Him. 
My Lord made me fit for Himself because He made me just how He wanted me.  Muddled, reflective, pondering, serious and a little wacky.....He wired me to nurture anything and anyone I came in contact with.  He made me strong and stubborn so that when crazy crash-lands in the road, I cling hard to the guardrails and cannot be thrown.   My scars become lessons to love on others......sweet wisdom instead of bitterness.
I am learning to be fit for him....the husband I love with all my heart.  I have grown as a wife and mother because I strive to learn from Him what I should be for him.
I am also striving to be fit.  In the last several months I joined Weight Watchers with my Mr and we have both lost weight.  25 for him and 15 for me.  I feel better physically but even more so, I feel more confident in my skin.   So I'm striving to be fit for Him and him in many ways every day.
It fits.

So moving forward.....there will be more random posts.   More reflections, hopefully more pictures and even some of that wacky side.

So what have I been up to while I've been banning myself from posting?
  • I've been counting points with Weight Watchers on-line....which by the way is the easiest most helpful no-brainer way to lose wight while eating NORMAL NON DIET food.  It's all about portion control people and I'm finally getting it......or getting rid of it. 
  • I've been gardening.  It's been a tough season for gardens here between a really screwed up spring, lots of rain and then mega heat with temps over 100 and now we've already had frost.  My tomatoes didn't do well...no ones did.  That was a bummer.
  • I spent the summer watching how my kids have grown and loving how well they get along.  10 and 15 now they are both competing for listening ears....especially the teen.   Wow, did I talk this much and that fast at 15?  Was I THAT random?  She is becoming amazing to get to know as a person not just a child to parent.
  • I abandoned books for lack of concentration over the summer and got completely lost in the chaos...as did all my routines around the home.
  • I found Pinterest and got addicted.  Seriously, I love it.  I've found awesome recipes and have been vicariously "shopping" pictures to learn what my style is.  I figured out that I had lost any sense of individual style when I gained weight and simply settled for things that fit and didn't make me want to hide.....granted I felt that way anyway.    I'm short.  5'3 short.  So on me small amounts of weight make a big difference in either direction.  So while 15lbs may not be huge (especially when the ultimate goal is 60lbs lost) it means I've dropped from a size 18 to a Large in tops (I've no clue what number that is).  THAT IS HUGE!   Not much is happening around the middle yet where most of the weight is centered but I believe I've lost one size there....I'm feeling a bit uneven. haha!
  • School has started now, which I LOVE.  Not because my kids are gone but a bit because my kids are gone.  I love the structure of the school year.  The concrete daily markers that do not move; morning routines are set, drop off/pickup times are steady and it gives me structure to my work day and my brain.  So now that the second week of school is done and I've begun to create order out of chaos and try to catch up on things that were let go.....canning season has hit with vengeance.
  • canning....I've made LOTS of pickles this year, refrigerator and bread and butter.  Remember that early frost?  Yep that means that tomatoes all had to be picked and the day before the frost was our local farmers market......I bought 6 - yes SIX - boxes of tomatoes.  I got thru
So.....that's a small summary of highlights and random tidbits that I actually remember at the moment.    Now it's time to try and tackle the mess that is my kitchen....so I can get at that sauce and put it in jars.   It will all be worth it this winter when we are buried under feet of snow and subzero temperatures and I can open a jar filled with summer freshness.

Till next time!
Blessings with love, 
the Mrs.

3 comments:

  1. YEAH!!! So many of those things you had not shared were things I was experiencing at the same time. I am SO glad you have shared them. I was so EXCITED as I read this post. I am down 12 pounds on WW, counting points and feeling a freedom I did not think I would feel, and I got hooked on Pinterest too! AND my tomatoes did terrible! I got 2 off of 2 plants. :( I am SO SO glad you are going to share your heart instead of one aspect (though an important one)in your life. My blog started out just a quilting blog, and we both know how that turned out! LOL I blog EVERYthing! ♥

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  2. DO you have a Red Mango near you? Only 2 WW points and SO good!

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  3. Ah Bren! Thanks for the encouragement! Is red mango a kind of mango or a place??? Never heard of it!

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