There is something funny about silence. You don't just listen, you hear more.
In a room you hear the rhythmic ticking of a clock passing time.....electronics running through cycles of reving up and cooling down....the sigh of a dog as it fully relaxes into sleep....the gurgling of my stomach. Not necessarily the beautiful song of birds but hey...it's winter here in the tundra and we've been stuck in sub-zero temps for several days.
In conversations you start to hear tones differently. The emotions behind them come through more clearly. Often....maybe more often than people like....I notice that people are not aware that their tone speaks an entirely different language than their words. A pleasant exchange about coffee or some trivial thing, for instance can reveal a tone that is speaking about being exhausted, frustrated and needing a break. But in the context of the words....just sounds angry.
Then, there is phrasing. The one that currently jumps out at me with flashing lights and fireworks "I am". People have locked themselves into being stuck. "I am not a good listener." "I am not good at asking questions." "I am not organized." "I am not a runner." "I am afraid..." "I am a jerk, prideful, arrogant, weak, easily manipulated, a failure, a doormat, hard to love, selfish, shy, insecure, damaged...." In there, the message is "I can't and I won't try to change." Perhaps it's more of a being scared to try to change, or being too lazy to put the effort forth or maybe just maybe.....it's a lie that got in there somehow, someway and it was believed. Claimed as their own and there it sits in the illusion of truth.
The real truth is that the only thing you can't change is the past. So when I catch myself saying things like "I am not good at asking questions." I change my phrasing..."I haven't been good at asking questions, I'd like to change that." I am what I choose to be. I choose to grow and change and improve. I choose to listen to my own language and when I catch myself claiming something as if it cannot be changed...I change that "I am" to reflect "In the past I haven't been known to be ________." Because it's in the past. It doesn't have to be who I am right now or in the future.
Every second is a new opportunity to choose differently.
Blessings for broken locks, wise choices and freedom to move forward into a new perspective.