Finding the basics

Finding contentment.

It comes in stages.  A step here, a mistep there. Learning that even when we are retracing our steps we are still moving forward, not back.

Understanding that contentment comes from being in the moment instead of anticipating the one to come.

The Lord was good to tell me to Be Buoyant this year.  The waves have carried battle after battle during the first half of the year.  Currently it seems as if there has been a dramatic shift.  The waves have been silenced and I find myself looking out on waters still as glass.  Gently shifting to look in all directions and in awe of the clarity that is left in the absence of waves.

What I observe is how I drifted from a particular way of living and thinking.  I find myself among varying levels of clutter.  Too many things had found their way in to the home.  Too many distractions had found their way into my time and my mind.....occupying way too much space.

Again I find myself purging our home of all manner of useless things.  Things I thought had some sentimental value but really just sat hidden in a cabinet.  Did I think I would be thought heartless to discard something simply because it belonged to someone?   Did I think that somehow a piece of them would live through my ownership of an item that had no other use?

There was a time when "things" were only as good as their practical use and service.  I lost that somewhere along the line.  Time to find it and look at things differently.  It is so much easier to let go of things when you can see them simply for their usefulness.  The openness in cabinets, closets and under beds is freeing.  Soon our home will be pared back down to the basic necessities.  The children will make their own choices in their rooms but for the rest of the house...back to basics.   No more holding on to materials from the 70's simply because I have fond memories of my mother connected to them.  Frankly they are hysterically hideous and I'd never make anything from them.  So why do I keep them?  Some lie that I'd somehow be tossing my mother aside by no longer owning them?  It's silly really but grief is an odd creature full of strange habits and ways of thinking.

Time to be done and rid of the ridiculous.  Some call it Minimalism or Simple Living....I guess I don't care what it's called, I just want what I know it comes with.  Freedom.  Time.  Space.  Gratitude.  Clarity.  Joy. Availability.  Authenticity.

When stuff clutters my home it clutters my mind as well.  I've known this always but here I am realizing all the sneaky buggers that have crawled into my life, mind and space.

The biggest revelation I've had has been the hardest one to come to a conclusion on how to handle.  I can easily toss 'things' in the garbage, this is not the issue.....it's the digital clutter I've become aware of.

The irony of the fact that I am blogging about discovering digital clutter is not lost on me.  

Every time I recall when I was at my mental best, my most productive, when I was most content and happy, when my relationship with the Lord was at it's most deep, clean, clear and in an intensely personal place....I go back to the little yellow house.  Tiny and old with the barest of necessities and our finances were just as bare. I've wondered time and again what it was....the season in life?....the desperate times?.....the horrible, no good, frightening neighborhood?   I've never really been able to put my finger on it....until the last two days.

I've spent the last two days home alone, for the first time in perhaps a decade.  The Lord, I feel, has been easing me into this place.  The last few weeks have been absurdly peaceful, quiet and simple.  Stillness has been a big part.  Stopping to just listen, evaluate life, why I do what I do, how I do what I do, what I want life to be and feel but also the pace at which I not only want to live but the pace at which I need to live.  A pace that allows the freedom to be available to others but also feeds my spirit, rests my mind and body and allows me to function at my personal best.  A pace that allows me to recognize when I am speeding up or drifting off course to please someone else's expectations.  To recognize when that same pleasing pulls me in a direction that is not authentically me.  When joining the masses of what is cool, normal and trendy tap the temple with temptation and suddenly you find yourself surrounded by things and quite discontent.   So where did that come from?  When did it start and how do I shut it off?

Suddenly I found myself staring quite clearly at the difference between now and then.  The birth of a digital life.  That little yellow house had never met Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest.  They had not been born yet.  There was email and land lines.  We had no cell phones.  The highest percentage of my day was spent in silence with only the noises of children and perhaps the soft sounds of the local christian radio station coming from the kitchen.   There were no iPods or MP3 players.  We kept in touch with real people in our lives.....not people we used to know, people we don't see face to face.  Effort was placed on relationships in the here and now.  Cards, letters, emails, phone calls....not tweets and posts to boast of our latest meal or random tiny endeavor for the day.  Is opening or closing the windows really newsworthy?

Suddenly it all seemed a crazy ridiculous lump of clutter.   It was visual, tactile and mental.  Suddenly I wanted to delete it all.  Then I realized that it had actually become impractical to do that.  There had been wonderful things that had come out of digital interactions.  Relationships that benefited and grew through that digital media.  It wasn't all bad.  So how to move forward from here.....

I decided I needed to approach this purge a bit more slowly.  First I recognized that this was a legitimate habit that needed to be broken and it shouldn't be simply cut off cold turkey because it involves more than just me.  My first step was to go through facebook and unfollow pages and some people.  Break it down to the first level of basics.  I did the same on the other sites too.  Next I turned off all notifications that didn't involve direct contact.  That means Facebook, Twitter and Instagram - notifications were shut off.  iMessage, Messenger, Voxer and Email were left on - these are digital connections like a phone call, they must be done with personal, direct and intentional action on the part of the sender, so it stays.   Next I moved Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest into a file on my iPod touch (I do not have a cellphone) titled: Digital distractions and placed it on the second screen.  Therefore it takes at least two intentional actions to access them as well as seeing the words Digital Distraction to remind me.    

The benefits are already being felt.  I'm also seeing posts in a new way.  Sadly I'm seeing so much less real stuff than just junk....complaining, attention seeking....general negativity.   Suddenly I'm very aware that I want to go back to a time when everyone's life wasn't in my face so much.  Its funny how you can get so sucked in to something and not see it for what it really is.  How we can become so engaged in something in an oblivious way.  I confess I've been a Facebook addict.  I've refreshed my screen I don't know how many times just waiting for then next interesting tidbit to scroll on by.  Perhaps its the voyeurism of glimpsing in a window to see how someone really lives, looking through photo albums of a stranger until you've seen so many snapshots you feel like you "really know them".  We don't of course because we edit ourselves and post in a way that makes us appear one way or another.

Now I seek to find my balance between a full digital exit and just enough to stay conveniently connected with those who I want to stay connected with.  I have a feeling there will be more editing to come...there has certainly been a lot of "hiding" individuals.  I've made no grand announcements and probably won't...seems silly to announce to the world that you'll be voting them off the island.  They probably wouldn't notice anyway.

Maybe I'll be back to update you.....or maybe......

Blessings from the digital detox trenches,
the Mrs.

a random kinda week

Tis a week where routine flew out the window as if it was it's only hope of survival.

Mr is still studying his rear off and is actually ahead of schedule.  He's doing great!  We had our first work dinner - a welcome dinner.  It was wonderful and I couldn't stop smiling and nodding as his regional leader described the way the company works, the culture of how people interact with each other and how families are appreciated.  So much confirmation that this has been the right move for our family in general but even more-so for Mr to be able to merge into this wonderful work environment that so suits him.  Makes the transition even more exciting!  No delusions that the first 2 years won't be difficult but when you know that you are where the Lord wants you, even difficult times come with great peace.

Halloween is over - and I'm grateful. November is here and finally joining its temperatures that arrived ahead of it.

Remember that "Daily Do's" worksheet I made for myself?  I now have 3 100 sheet notepads of it!  I'm kinda excited about that...go figure.  I know....I'm a nerd.  But it is super helpful to have a reference point and all things on one page.  Sure makes my day go more smoothly!   Well....when the rest of the house is normal anyway....which has NOT been this week!

The 30-day challenge is on day 18 now - this morning I realized I totally forgot to read yesterdays!  Whoops!  I've decided that I'm going to loop it and start all over from the beginning when its done.  I love the insights and the daily challenges but I am finding that the broader applications are actually distracting from the more specific actions with my Mr.  An attitude of encouragement toward him is less of a challenge for me, it's one I've intentionally worked on for many years.  It has actually been challenging me in how I treat and encourage the world I encounter.  How I think, speak and generally interact with everyone.  Its really neat how it seems to be affecting all the women in the same way, opening up how their mind works, paying attention to their attitude in general.  The feedback has been really fun to read and quite similar.   In eliminating the ability to be negative and intentionally speaking positive it is affecting how they think, feel and generally interact with people.   VERY COOL!

While I am supposed to be encouraging my Mr....I came home from errand day to find a surprise on the counter of beautiful pink roses and a seriously sweet card from him!  It was so neat!  Then as I finished up putting things away he came up to comment that he had a couple things to talk about and as I rounded the corner there was a little gift bag sitting on the coffee table!  The stinker had run out while I was gone to do all this.  In the gift bag was a new iPod Touch 5!  I was totally shocked and didn't know what to say!  There were lots of giddy hugs and crazy shocked faces from me!  What a neat unexpected blessing!  I do not have a cell phone, nor do I want one but, I did have his old iPod touch.  We are absolutely awful about pictures.  One day our kids are going to give us a really hard time about that!  The ipod simply didn't have enough megapixels to take decent quality pictures and we know that a camera just isn't going to get used.  So his phone and my ipod  are our family cameras.  I had tried ordering prints of pictures I had taken and they couldn't even be printed due to the poor quality.  The Dude started campaigning for mom to get a new ipod so he could get the hand me down. :)  Needless to say, he is THRILLED that mom got a new ipod! HA!

I knew a new ipod would be nice but as I am learning how to better put it to use, I am realizing the greater blessings that comes with it.  The ability to set reminders, organize calendars, send notes and reminders to family, use siri to dictate spontaneous things.....my broken brain is so blessed by these applications!  To be able to set a reminder for my son for after school and eliminate the struggle to try and remember it all day is huge!  Yes, writing it down is good but that means I also have to remember to read it and then speak it later....which more often than not doesn't happen during that frame of time it needs to.   I am so excited to have a tool to help me remember things!

I'm feeling good and like getting this week back on the tracks!  I have some organizing things I want to do - new folders and things to revamp my home binder and some cork tiles for the inside of the cupboard.

Blessings on your day for beauty and excitement in all the small things!
the Mrs.

Challenge accepted.

Sometime early this year.....or perhaps late last year but at some point in the past I cannot exactly pinpoint...we gathered a few friends to a challenge.  My Mr and a guy friend started to chat about beer and somehow ended up on cooking and the two fell together into a vote I wasn't there for.

We had our first Beer Dinner challenge - the Beta test.  I know, the name is entirely too creative.  Not entirely sure how well it would go, we moved forward and everyone was asked to come up with a dish, dessert or whatever they could think of, that they could infuse beer into.  The Beta Test was a Surly challenge.   It was all about one brand of beer and using any of the flavors they make.  The results were outrageously, ridiculously amazing.  People drooled and raved and broke out in the meat sweats and fell into swollen belly comas while laughing way too hard.  A second event was demanded.

You're curious aren't you.....you want to know what on earth was so good we needed to do it a second time.   Here's a list to the best of my memory:  Bender beef stew, Coffee Bender chili (I think), beer bread, Chocolate cake with bender frosting, Coffee Bender Chocolate Cheesecake, Furious Glazed Salmon Puffs (Profiteroles were also made with Furious), Bender Bacon Mushroom Meatloaf (pretzels instead of bread crumbs), Coffee Bender marinated steaks rubbed with a coffee brown sugar dry rub, Abrasive Jello Jigglers,   salad with....a dressing made with beer I can't remember and I know there's more I'm forgetting.  But you get the point.

This weekend will be Beer Dinner 2.0.  Any beer is fair game and the guest list doubled.  The Mr and I get a tad carried away....our list has topped out at 8.   So far I have Hell Fire Pickles and Furious Peanut Brittle.  The Toffee kinda went all wrong so attempt #2 will be today along with the much demanded Bender Bacon meatloaf I made last year, the sober-Vegan Sloppy Joes and Amazeballs.  I'll be in the kitchen if you need me....for the rest of the week.  Tomorrow I clean the house, make the jigglers and any last minute cooking things I can think of.  Then Saturday will be the Rogue Doughnut pork sliders, the 21+ Mac n Cheese and decorating the garage for the event.

Here's the funny part.....ya know all those food issues I have? I can't eat any of the food with beer in it.  Thus...the "sober" vegan sloppy joes and Amazeballs.  I'm actually thinking I'll be doing a gluten free Apple Slab pie too since one of our friends is gluten free and I'm not sure how much she will be able to eat either.  So the challenge for me is to cook things I can't eat or taste and have them actually turn out not only edible but tasting of awesome.....because, lets face it, I do have a reputation to uphold.

On other challenge notes......what do you do when you don't really own table cloths (I know, I know, my membership to womanhood should be revoked, but I'm okay with that) but are trying to make a party in your garage not look like.....a party in your garage....   You opt for creative solutions.  Knowing that this party will most likely become an annual event I made the executive decision that I need to get supplies that will be reused so I am not spending a fortune on disposable table stuff every year.  I was on a mission to find some nice table cloths I could use over and over in fall-ish colors.   Much to my dismay I found that all table cloths of any decent size were at least $16 and I need at least 3.   Time to employ creativity.  I found 3 clearance curtain panels in chocolate and eggplant for less than $10 a piece, a clearance set of napkins (to use under candle centerpieces) for $5, 3 different kitchen towels for $4 and a few candles from the dollar store will get things looking a bit nicer and smelling a bit less "garage".  A bag of cranberries, some tea-light candles freed from there little metal containers, some raffia and mason jars will be the center pieces along with the tiny little pumpkins I got last week.

I will do my best to take pictures......but we know I suck at doing that.

I'm excited to see if we can pull this off......well.....okay I know we can easily pull it off but I'm actually excited to see if I can pull off making a garage look nice for a party and not have everyone freeze to death.

Challenge accepted.

Blessings of fall fun to each of you,
the Mrs.

Mark me tardy...

...or maybe absent is more like it.  My mind has been focused on all the stations of transition in our lives right now.  Lots of changes, some big and some small but all are important.

The biggest transition....the biggest change....is that my husband is changing careers.  Not just his job.  This has been a dream of his for nearly a decade.  The Lord orchestrated this timing perfectly and all the doors were flung open for him and the support that rallied around him was so encouraging.  This will be a very felt transition for the whole family.  He won't be just changing buildings or offices.  He will have 4 months of intense study and training - right here in our basement, taking all the classes and tests on-line through the company.  It means creating a working, functioning office space for him.  It means a diminished income (but we've been planning and saving for this possible opportunity for many years and have a plan), tightening the belts and making choices more thoughtfully.  It means he will be home, the commute from home to work will be mere seconds.  It means lunches and hugs and learning to respect each others work and work space while sharing it.  It means new schedules and volume levels.   It means a lot of unknowns and that our attitudes will need to be chosen wisely.  It means a big huge transition for him physically and mentally.

The school year means transitioning from seeing our daughter frequently, to very little.  Its hard.  Hard to have to miss out on the little things we will never get to be part of.  Morning routines and kitchen door send offs.  It means more phone calls and facebooking.  Catching up on the details of her life after the fact.

The school year also means our Dude is in the middle of his own big transition.  It's waking up earlier, riding a bus, learning to navigate the hallways and get to classes on time.  Dealing with stubborn lockers and learning to play an instrument.  Making friends and finding his place.  Starting a new youth program and meeting new leaders and students.

For me it means supporting all these people I love so much.   It means being aware of where we all are, what the needs are of our family and making sure that the tone set in our home is one that gives them comfort.  Making sure that home is a place where they can decompress, relax, refresh and restore from all that stuff that goes on in their day.  A place where they can feel free to talk it all through and know that there is someone who is going to listen, help them find a solution or just simply understand the frustration.   A place full of hugs and sometimes cookies but always a place where they feel safe to be who they are and have a voice to say what it is they are feeling.

Gosh, even the house itself has gone through some big changes.  Dude's room was redecorated.  Living room got new furniture and everything was moved around.  All the furniture moving changed out a couple of pieces in the dining area.  The basement has had a huge face lift just from trading the furniture out and moving everything around.  There was another great purge and a trailer load of stuff was brought to the dump.  The garage got cleaned out and totally reorganized.

The Great Purge of 2012 seems to go so far beyond just the stuff we are getting rid of.  Old selves are being cast off.  Weight is being lost both physically and mentally.  Attitudes are shifting and there is great growth happening.  Its an interesting place in life.  Only the Lord knows what else this season will bring.

Blessings of flexibility and patience to endure the shifting seasons with grace and wisdom,
the Mrs.

peace in the season

It feels odd to be in such a state of peace as we move closer to changes and transitions....excited even.

There is a quietness that is settled over me.  As programs are rolled out for the fall church season and friends start asking what we will participate in.....I quietly and confidently say "I don't know".  Because, I don't.  I don't know what fall will bring, I don't know what middle school will look like for Dude.  Will he need the down time, more time for homework or will he want to do after school programs?   I don't know.....neither do I feel a strong pull toward anything.  I simply feel this calm and an ease to go with the flow.  That during this season in life I am not to make commitments.

Its a funny feeling to finally feel this settled in my spirit...makes me want to laugh.....perhaps that's the joy bubbling up.  I love the season we are in!

I'm excited for our daughter that she is going to be a junior!  That she is really coming into her own and has found she loves drama and is actually excited about tryouts.  That she's excited about prom already and that she seems to have a new confidence and ease about her.

I'm excited for what middle school will be like for our son.  Granted there are many prayers for him that it is NOTHING like my own experience.  I love that he is so excited for the opportunities....all the clubs and extras that he wants to participate in (though I have a feeling we will have a conversation about how he can't do them all).  I love that he is so relaxed, so at ease and confident at his age.  It blows my mind.  No nervousness at all....he never has.  First day of school?  Mom, get a grip, it's no big deal, I can walk myself in.  Every year, not once, not even pre-school or kindergarten, would he let me walk him into class.  He wanted to do it on his own.  The first few years I think it was me who needed my hand held but now, he's taught me over the years that his first day experience is so much different than my own.  Mine were full of nerves and questions and what-ifs...but his, relaxed and go with the flow.

As parents, its a new season for us.  Our kids are so self sufficient now that I sometimes need to remind myself.  We don't need babysitters anymore.  That is so weird!  The need for us to do things for them has changed and now what they need from us is guidance and teaching to do things on their own, building up their skill set.  Its a great mental shift for mom.

I've been working on transitioning our home to better suit older kids and make the basement area function better for them to have friends over.  It used to be the grown up hang out and now it's all about the kids.  Gotta make it cool!

The household diet is changing so the menus will be changing, the day of the week I shop on has changed and what I buy has changed.

So many areas of transition.
Such great peace.

Blessings of anticipation for what the Lord has in store for you and protection from the desire to do anything but go with it.
the Mrs.

An update, a weigh in and heavy compliment

Well mark me absent.  Sorry.  A lot of life happens in August!

So that porch project I mentioned a while back......or at least I think I mentioned it.....who really keeps track?  It circled the bowl for a while and disappeared, thanks to city codes.  So that idea morphed into "lets just get some patio furniture and make that weird, uninviting space more inviting" because hey!, good timing, furniture in the patio variety is going on clearance everywhere.  On a Monday morning I saw a tent sale outside a new furniture store and it was full of patio stuff.  Tuesday evening we went to check it out and it was gone.  Like the tent never was.  So we went inside thinking we'd ask or at least find the last few reject pieces to look at.  Nothing.  Since we were there we figured we should look around because we made the trip and we've been thinking about (and saving for) new living room furniture for years but not decided what we really wanted.  Turned out they were having a big sale.  We took the week to think about it and set a budget.  Saturday we looked again, calculated over and over, discussed, sat, laid down, rearranged and measured, sat some more, made ourselves reaaaaaally comfy and finally decided.  Part of the new set arrives on Thursday!  A sectional big enough that, for the first time since we've been married, my 6'6 husband can actually lay down comfortably and all of us will be able to be on it, at the same time, EVEN if he is laying down!  I'm a tad excited.  We haven't owned a new piece of furniture (that wasn't someone else's first) in about 10 years.  A new coffee table and end table arrive in about 6 weeks (on back order).

School prep is in full swing.  One boy down and one girl to go.  Tomorrow its schedule pick up and then off to shop for her new fashion identity for this year.  She's been Pinteresting like crazy!

The Dude's bedroom Transformation is 99% complete.  Just a few little things left to hang.....which I keep forgetting about.

I am currently in conflicted mommy mode.  I am so excited and ready for school to start and to get into a normal rhythm as well as get some alone time back and be able to get things done in the house in a more efficient manner.......but school starting also means that we go back to barely seeing Wonderteen.  It feels forever between weekends and considering how much closer we've all gotten this summer, it will probably feel worse.  Watching these kids grow and come into themselves is so amazing and the school year tends to bring on explosive growth.  It always seems that school starts and within a month I'm noticing big "growing up" changes in conversation and responsibility.

Weigh-ins have continued.  I feel like I've been driving toward 160 with a bungee cord attached to my butt.  I push to get there and right when I think its within my reach I am pulled back a pound....or even two.  It's been frustrating.  Though while the number dance has been happening I've noticed definition happening.  My face continues to change, my collar bones and arms look different.  Watches and rings continue to get bigger.  Belts are still losing notches and those shorts that started to feel baggy are now looking baggy and unflattering. I finally had to bite the bullet and get the girls some new gear......yes, I had to do the dreaded bra shopping again.  Though this time I actually purchased.  When they measured me they didn't tell me "uh, you need an F, we don't carry those".  Instead I heard the great news that I officially am down a band size into the 30's instead of the 40's but.....lets just say that a double turned into a triple and now that my mid section is starting to slim more, the girls are just.....OUT THERE.
As of yesterday I am solidly at 160.0.  I didn't buy avocados this week, I am going to avoid oil like the plague, I bought one bar of chocolate and marked each piece with a day of the week so I can have one square per day and it will be easy to see when I have had too many.  Though I didn't eat one yesterday.....amazing.  This week I am hoping to FINALLY get into the 150's and break through this wall. I read about all these people who make the switch to a plant based diet and just start dropping pounds left and right....it's not happening for me!  Its frustrating but I know that my body has held on to the pounds tightly.  Friends are dropping as much, or even in one case double, what I have already lost and they've done it in at least half the time.  I've now been doing this for well over a year and I'm only down 32 lbs.  I'm not saying that 32 isn't any big deal - it is a big deal and it's a lot of weight - I just really thought I'd be done by now.   Exercise....well, that really hasn't been happening.  It took several weeks for my hips to recover from the cabin jogging I did and a couple weeks ago, then I attempted the treadmill and my hips went all kinds of painful crazy.  So it appears that being a runner is not in my future and I've been avoiding the treadmill as I like feeling comfortable walking.  Once school starts I plan to start working some Pilate's into my day, as that is gentle on the joints, can be done in short increments and most positions are laying down which should be easy on the hips.

In more romantic news....Last week Mr schemed with the kids to get me out on a surprise date.  He sent me flowers and asked me out just like he did for our very first date.  We went out to dinner and to see the new Batman in Imax (still loved it by the way).  While we were at dinner he stopped and looked at me, really looked at me, and told me that since we've been married, I've never been more beautiful.  Other than the first 6 months we were together (when I was a tiny 115 and a size 4....who knows what size that would be today though) I've been heavy.  It started with beginning birth control and packing on a whopping 50 pounds in less than 5 months. It just wouldn't come off.....that combined with the diet change of "mommy and daddy's groceries" to "living on your own groceries" it just did bad things to my body and I haven't looked the same since.  For years I've looked in the mirror and not recognized myself.  Flipping back and forth between a vision in my head being smaller than reality and then looking in the mirror and feeling much larger than reality.  Now however...in my head I see myself at my goal weight and size and my body feels uncomfortably big and in the way.  It causes frustration.....and humor......one day I was laying down and put my hand down at my waist and felt this bulge.  At first I thought "what the heck is that!"  and then.....I  realized it was a fat roll and laughed myself silly.  Even the fat that is still there is different.   Everything is changing, fitting differently, looking differently....my face probably fascinates me the most.  I've seen this fat girl so long and focused on what I wanted my body to look like for so long that my new slimmer face surprises me.  When I see pictures, I think whoa....that is me???   Crazy.

The heavy compliment?  It came from Mr as we walked into the furniture store.  We were having a conversation about people we know with negative attitudes, how it seems like they search for things to complain about and can't seem to see the good in anything.  Then Mr says "They don't have a joyful spirit and aren't lucky enough to have a wife who has a joyful spirit to teach them."  It went something like that...but it really hit me and I didn't know what to say as I felt tears start to well up.  Of course those had to be stuffed down because we were going into the store and I really didn't need to be that girl at the moment. Those words though....it is a heavy compliment.  Its both something to live up to and affirming something I've striven for most of my life.  To take all of the trials and challenges life has handed me and make myself better with them.....never bitter.  It's always been a challenge to mentally not pull the "oh poor me" card or fall into that trap the world seems to set for people "oh you've been through so much, I'd be a little angry at the world too".  NO.  Adversity is NO excuse for a bad attitude, anger, bitterness or an invasive negativity that is toxic to everyone around you.  Adversity is an opportunity, to grow, to learn, to be stretched, to have the ability to stand in someone else's shoes and be able to mean it when you say I understand.  Adversity is an opportunity to gain wisdom.  Don't focus on the love and support you needed and didn't get - you can't go back and change your experience in life any more than you can change the ingredients in last nights dinner.  Focus on how you can use that experience.  Love and support someone else the way you needed it.  Give to others what you wish you'd received.  Missing out is not a valid reason for withholding from others.  It might just bring you healing in the process.

A joyful spirit....  Wow.  Me?  He really thinks that of me?   ......that may be the compliment of a lifetime.

Blessings to you, for a joyful spirit in all things transitional and stationary, may the blessing of laughter and joy bubble up from within your soul and be displayed on your face.
the Mrs.

When the Lord comes knockin, you best be ready.

Oh how the Lord speaks and makes me laugh!

Remember how earlier today I said I minister at the kitchen door?  Remember how I said I'm in a new comfort with myself and that in the summer I do not achieve anywhere near the productivity I intend and things get all out of whack?

Apparently all of these needed extra highlighting and emphasis today.  This morning I intended to take advantage of the morning by getting on the treadmill.  So I skipped the shower and intended to take one after being on the treadmill.  I intended to do the dishes after said shower so I would have enough hot water.  I also intended to make a to do list, start the bible study book I received last week, get the laundry folded and figure out how the carpet cleaner (which was purchased 2 months ago) works, as well as start getting the next few months of calendar ready for the start of school so we are organized going into it.

Here's what actually happened.

I ended my blog post by following up with a couple emails, checking facebook and dropping in on Pinterest. Found a pin on organization which lead me to this post on 52 weeks of organizing where I fell in love and printed out the form to make my own list of 52 organizing projects.  I read a bit there and then my guts told me they hadn't eaten yet, so I had elevenses (yes, that's a hobbit meal reference and I use it often and well) at 10am.....the irony is not lost.  After lunch I decided I needed to get on to figuring out the calender issue so that I could give a proper answer on whether I could babysit for a friend in August.  Putting my calendar together is time consuming with all the different things that need to be consolidated (2 different school district calendars, Mr's work/golf/etc, church, birthdays/anniversaries and WT's parental rotation schedule).  The Dude arrived home from school while I was in the center of a calendar whirlwind.  He was barely done with lunch when his buddy called to come play.  

At this point I considered that I should set things aside and just get to doing other things.....intended things.  But not wanting to leave a project unfinished ignored all else....hmm....no to-do list means no ta-daaaa.  


So an hour or so later the buddy's mom arrives at my kitchen door.   Filling me in on a host of trials going on for their family.   I attentively listened and expressed as much encouragement and understanding as I could to someone I'm not well acquainted with and therefore was unsure of what she may need in the moment.  The homemaker in me was horrified as my unshowered self stood before the mother of my child's friend, in my SO messy kitchen with the garbage to the top and the recycling poking out (which is of course located in direct eyesight of the entry we are standing in) which was only to be topped by our very senior aged dog walking behind her to vomit in the doorway right behind her.  No, I'm not kidding.  As I dragged the old dog to the back door to let her outside, in case there was anymore to come up.....I found a present to top off the beautiful experience.  One of the little dogs had decided at just that moment to take a poo right there on the kitchen floor.   Mortified.

Yes....here in one fell swoop I had an opportunity to minister a new person at my kitchen door while cleaning up poo and vomit off of my kitchen floor, unshowered, hair a mess, no makeup, trying to push dirty vomity poo filled paper towels into a too full garbage can while trying to reassure an overwhelmed mother that her son can come over any time and to please let us know how we can be helpful.

Really?  I am surprised she let him stay after she left.   After she left and I had time to sit and think about it....all I could do is laugh.   Quite the reality check sent in affirmation.

Yes - you do minister at your kitchen door.
Yes - you've gotten comfortable with who you are enough to pick up poo and vomit off the floor in your too messy house and not be overly apologetic or completely insecure about your place in humanity.  You did it with grace and without panic or frustration.
Yes - you have slipped in your duties.  Yes, you have allowed your home keeping to fall out of priority.  
Here is your moment of awareness that you are indeed in a very good place but your inefficiency at your work can compromise the opportunities I give you for ministry, the ones you are very aware are spontaneous.  It is your job to just be ready. 


Father forgive my procrastination and laziness!  I have full confidence that You can turn this messy moment into a good thing.

There's my confession for the day.  I was an unprepared mess when the Lord brought someone knocking.  I have fallen down on the job and need to totally reassess how I manage my time in an effort to bring balance to keeping home and mommydom.

Blessings of preparedness for when the Lord comes knocking unexpectedly......with the laughter and smile to go with it.
the Mrs.

a different monday.....a break to reboot and rekindle

Time for a switch.  I think I've been taking mental multitasking to a whole new level.....at least for me.  I need to slow it down and cut a few things out.  I determined that I'm taking a vacation from weight-loss.

What does that mean?  No counting.  No treadmill - unless I have a genuine desire to....but lets be real, it's unlikely to happen.  No pressure.   My LIFE is about paying attention to food, what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, how it makes me feel, what ingredients have changed and how I need to counteract it all.  It's a full time job all on its own. I think I need to step away so I can return with a refreshed desire for the goal.  The family challenge that we set about a month ago is off.  No one was really taking it seriously and it didn't have the motivational desire we thought it would.  Mr is going to continue to do his own thing and keep going.

I'm still going to weigh in every Monday like I have for the last year.  I'm not going to report it here for now though.   I'm still going to be watching what I eat and how much but I'm going to be focusing in a bit more on the balance of plants to grains....less of the white food and more of the colorful stuff.

Yesterday I watched "Food Matters" and "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"  and rebooted my attitude with food and why I need to be vigilant about what I eat.  Along with my attitude, my passion was rebooted.  I think that is something we all need from time to time.  We can get into a rut with our routines and the monotony of our own normalcy.  The shine and the passion can dull a bit bringing the need to go back to the roots, the beginnings of why we do what we do.  Renewal is good.  I really don't have a choice about how I eat, but I have a choice about how I look at it....what my attitude is.  These were excellent films on their own but they were especially good reminders for me.  A rekindling of the passion and joy that is found in eating natural whole foods and squelching the feeling of it being work.

My attention is needed in more important areas than my waistline. The Great Purge of 2012 must go on as well as the reorganizing that needs attending to.  As our family merges into a new era of life, its time to re-evaluate the efficiency of all the areas in our home so we can move into the next season ready to take on all the new challenges it may offer.  The Dude has his room re-do coming up - now that colors have finally been chosen.  We are in the very early stages of planning a screen porch build on the back patio....we will be building it with the generous help of friends time and energy.  We are planning a sweet 16 birthday party for our WonderTeen and there is just so much family goodness going on in all these things.

For now, this season, my focus is on slowing down.  Doing what I do with intention and joy. Purging not just our home of clutter, but my mind of hurry and life of excess.  Loving the process and the people it's all for.

While "weight-loss" and I may be on a break, I think I'll have lots of other things to chat about.

Blessings of a slowed down love bringing you back to your roots,
the Mrs.

weigh in monday - where oh where has the determination gone?

+.6.....I could use the excuse that I didn't get on the treadmill last night because my pelvis appears to not want to play nicely with the rest of my body and walking would not have helped.   BUT if I'd lost what I should have during the week then yesterday shouldn't have made a difference.

What happened to determination?  Not just mine either.  No one in this house appears to be taking losing weight seriously anymore.  No one is counting or watching the clock, making sure we don't eat past a certain time.  When did simply not gaining become praiseworthy?  This is silly!  We had goals!  We were motivated and determined!  Now there seems to be this slacker attitude that the minimum effort is good enough.  TWO POUNDS used to be the goal for ONE WEEK.....now, oh well that it's taken a month to lose that with the yo-yo weigh ins.  

This team needs a cranky coach to yell and put us in our lazy places.  BENCHED!  Though...technically that would defeat our particular purpose...

It seems to be a weird season right now....filled with milestones, full calendars and an abundance to be thoughtful about.  Spring simply won't fully emerge here and I've yet to start even one seed.  Our beautiful daughter is going to be sweet 16 one week from today - the party is delayed due to a crazy weekend calendar but still it needs planning.  As I dropped off our son this morning, I realized that the end of my driving him to elementary school was in sight....middle school is ahead.  Mr has been working like a mad man and putting in all sorts of crazy hours just trying to keep up.  There is our shift from "Home for now" to "this IS our home" and lists are being made for the various modifications, repairs and improvements that we'd like to accomplish...eventually (thanks to pinterest we have some visual aids).  First, we must decide what we can and want to accomplish this year.  I'm sure it will take years to get through the list but taking it out in manageable chunks each year will help.  We are purging the house like crazy...already about 4 storage tubs are filled.  SO proud of the kids for parting with things instead of hoarding their possessions.  It's the Dude's year for a bedroom remodel, WonderTeen had her's for her 10th birthday and now it's his turn. I love the idea of a more grown up room at those pivotal growing seasons - creating an environment with them that reflects who they are and can grow with them.   Softball season is starting for Mr, and there is golf league too.  A garden project at church.  Holidays and birthdays for important people coming up....

I'm sure there is more.....for goodness sake no wonder I can't concentrate on anything.  My brain doesn't know how to juggle!  Time for some serious lists and organizing.  Some delegating too.

Determination - I need you and your buddies energy and motivation to move in and kick some rears into gear!

Guess I'd better get to it!

Blessings of determined successes to you,
the Mrs