be buoyant

Well hello!  It's me!  Yer friendly, random blogger.  Yep I've been absent.  Things have gotten dusty and stale.  Well, lets crack a window and let some fresh air in.  Its a new year and what lays before us is nothing but opportunity.

I've never been one for "New Years Resolutions".  It's always felt synonymous with "things I'll never follow through on" so I've never given it much thought beyond that.  I don't intend to make any but the sentiment of reflecting on the past and preparing for the future by setting some goals resonates differently in the here and now.   

We are in a long term season of transition here.  Be buoyant....are words that resonate deep within me.  

Websters defines "buoyant" as the ability to float, lightheartedness.  Buoy, in connection, is defined as an anchored float to guide navigation.  a life-saving device.  keep from sinking; sustain morally; encourage.  

The last month has been filled up with weighty things.  Big tests, changes in how we celebrate, family additions and heavy emotions to process.  None of this necessarily negative....just big and all at once.  For a while it felt like the pile just kept growing and the Lord just kept giving and there was this sense of being totally overwhelmed.

Be buoyant. 

Mostly I just let it come.  Riding the waves as they came, not really grasping the details but trying to be present.  I've had moments of being so overwhelmed by praise so gracious, I turned to a humble pile of tears.  My heart has given birth to a new child, stretched and challenged at how to love this woman...woman...how strange that feels to say.....when what I see and love is a little peanut of a girl who I want to hold and mend and guide and yet, I also want to learn so much from....how to love this woman right.   How be her Jesus momma with skin on and love her the way He desires her to be loved.  

Then there was the scripture.....the verses that He would bring strongly to mind and affirm them through others, media and any source He could to bring them to my face.  I took notes Lord....You saw.  There were topics and convictions and passions that were planted in mind and heart.   He showed with a clear awareness that I poured too much out.  My balance has been off for too long and I lost my ability to draw from the well with efficiency....leaving me dry and out of resources to fill up those around me.

December became about bookmarks and pause buttons.  As a wave would come there would be one thing that would be clear and within my grasp to hold on to.   A verse - bookmark that, we'll come back to it.  A theme or idea - press the pause button here, we'll come back to it.   I didn't know when but I knew He would bring me to a quiet time to put it all together.   As usual, He is so faithful.

Little indulgences with little consequences brought on overconfidence.  New Years Eve was celebrated with an extravagance that I'd been looking forward to.  A beautiful bottle of wine I purchased before Christmas just for the occasion.   We had a lovely gathering of friends and so much laughter that sides were sore and voices were left gritty.  I knew there would be a consequence but it was an infrequent indulgence....a day or two of my body being sore would be okay (alcoholic beverages are on my no-no list of items that will cause a reaction.  I generally indulge lightly only every few months.)...but not this time.  

"Sometimes God has to put us flat on our backs before we are looking up at Him."

~ Jack Grahm

Tis true.  However unpleasant these times are I know that that I will glean so much from them.  More than a week later and my body is still reacting.  Still tender and sore, weak and shaky. But....looking up at Him is more productive and peace producing than anything else I could be doing in this life.  While my body is disturbed, my heart and mind are totally at rest.   It is good.  

Together, as I've laid in a nest of pillows, He's shown me my focus for this year.  Scripture as my outline and two phrases to remember.

• Read the Sermon on the Mount - Matthew 5,6, 7 - and read it often.
• Read scripture daily - I will be using a bible ap on my iPod to read through the New Testament and Psalms.  
• 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
• Joshua 1:8-9 "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.  For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
• James 1:2-4 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
• Be buoyant.
• "If it matters, you make the time.  If it doesn't, you make excuses." ~Ann Voskamp

I don't know what lies ahead but He does.  I trust that this focus, His anchor, will keep me buoyant through whatever comes our way and hopefully, by that trust....I can be His light to help guide others through the waves.

Blessings to you for solid beginnings, a view where your horizon is full of opportunity and joy that keeps you buoyant.

the Mrs.

If you teach a man to fish....

Opportunities knock.

To be in a unique place, time or relationship.

The most unexpected of blessings.   You weren't looking for it, asking for it or even thinking about it....and then there it is.   Out of nowhere, you are over the moon crazy about it.  You are willing to fight and sacrifice all while being totally baffled at how instant it was.   It changes you....how you see the world.

A random encounter last May at a wedding brought something completely off my radar and put it right in my face.  It was a God moment....one of those instances where He grips your heart and you cannot even conceive of not acting on the request.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed that I'd be in the place I am right now.

Its a girl.

We have adopted her right into our hearts and love her like crazy.
Okay she isn't a girl.  She's a full grown woman.  A beautiful, 27 year old, blue eyed, sassy creation that loves the Lord and people in a way I've never encountered and she blows my mind every time she talks.

We adopted a missionary.

I didn't realize it all those months ago.  It's a small thing to do, I thought.  We agreed to be a regular supporter while she was in New Zealand for her second season, this time in leadership.  Working through YWAM first in a school setting then co-leading a group out into the mission field.

"Missionary." It always had this untouchable, strange, Mother Theresa vibe about it.....people who dressed funny and went out into the jungle and tried to bring Jesus to people who probably couldn't understand them.  It was a totally foreign, alien concept.  Probably because I really didn't think about it much....didn't really make time to even listen.

Now, my eyes are opened and I'm learning.  The phrase "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime."  It just keeps coming to me.  She is raising up missionaries in a missionary school....in my ignorant nutshell of a description.  How beautiful is that?  One pebble tossed into the lake creates ripples but toss a handful of pebbles in and watch how far those ripples reach.

I never expected how profoundly it would effect me....us.  How it would expand our view of love...  How God's power would be on display.  How deeply touched my heart would be or how many tears I'd shed for this....near stranger that was becoming like a child to me.   Birthed into my heart.  How much God would expand my understanding of how He works.....across space and time and that He would choose me...me to speak comfort and love to someone on the other side of the world.  Something I thought was so small....was revealed to be much bigger than I ever anticipated.

It's been humbling, confusing and amazing all at once.

She's being called to go again.  This time she has a mere 6 weeks to raise the funds for a full year.   There's a travel visa to purchase, plane ticket, a new backpack to live out of on outreach....supplies I had no idea were needed.

I want to introduce you to her.
Our little missionary child....Mandi.
Prayerfully consider if the Lord may want you to help support her too.  I could not be more proud of her, who she is, her heart for the Lord or the way she loves people with every cell in her being.

This is a young woman who will change nations, one heart at a time.


Blessings to you of abundance, grace and a cup that overflows.
the Mrs.