can't escape my own awesome

Okay, so I suck at this whole blogging on a regular basis business.   It's not that I don't think of it, it's just that when I do I start posting in my head and then "oh shiny" and it's all gone like someone bumped the etch-a-sketch and I'm like whatever, it's all messed up and now I have nothing to say.

What have I been doing?  Being awesome.

I know, modesty.  Anyhoo...so I made pickled veggies upon request from a friend.  Apparently they were awesome and that made me awesome and now that's the only reason they are friends with me.  They did it all for the pickles.   See....they say I'm awesome.

These same pickle lovin peeps had a party last friday.  I made vegan sugar free, dairy free banana bread.....oh dear, I don't recommend it.  It tasted great but the texture was....goobery....that's accurate as I can get it.  In the garbage it went.  It was an Xbox 360 party because they just got one.  My guys were beyond excited and I was all oh geez here we go, I'll never hear the end of how awesome it is and they will drive me crazy. I do have to disclose that we currently have a deal going with the Dude.  When he was really sick - I think I posted about this - we discussed with the doctor what his healthy weight range was and the conclusion was that he needed to lose a little over 20 lbs.  She didn't want him doing anything about it until he was back to normal of course but she actually said that an Xbox 360 with Kinect was a great way to go for someone who wasn't really into competitive sports and had a hard time finding purposeful ways to be active.  Doh.  So that's when the guys really started to amp up the "but Mo-om!"  I was all "no way" but as cold weather started to approach and we realized that the Dude needs some motivation we decided to strike a deal.  If he could lose half of the total pounds he needs to lose, we will get the Xbox to help him finish losing the rest.  Once we own it a minimum of 50% of anything played on the system is required to be physical.  In other words, I better not catch you sitting down.  He is doing well so far and I think the party was good motivation now that he has a taste of it.

We played a party game that randomly selected different sports that two teams competed at.  We had two teams of 4.  I was impressed with how accurate the Kinect was in reading the movements.  Also it was awesome to not have to hold a controller.

I am the boxing champ.  I was defeated only once....the very last match when my arms simply wouldn't move right anymore.  It was hilarious and my arms were complete and total jello at the end.  Also, they were sore for days.  Also.....I admit, reluctantly, that I loved it.  It was so cool and so much easier without controllers.

Last night the guys decided to pull out the boxing game we have for wii and start working on their skills cuz momma whooped em both!  So now I have to get back into it to stay ahead of them.  I forgot how fun it is I haven't been working out like that for a long time.  I believe my level of soreness revealed that quite nicely too....   Also....I hit myself in the face several times with the cord.....have I mentioned that not having controllers was really nice?  Guess who's on the band wagon?

I did find this crazy killer core workout that is super easy to do at home, no equipment or anything!
I found it on pinterest and then tracked it to the original posters blog.  WOW.  This chick is ripped and amazing.  Really inspiring.  Check it out here:  The Petite Athlete

The 30-day challenge ends today.  I'm looping back around to start it all over again.  The scripture is great and I feel like I need to work on more of the details of the challenge.  There was this amazing clarity that came through about attitude in general and I really felt that this 30 days ended up being about changing and growing me.  Widening my eyes about my own attitude and becoming more aware of my words and examining what they reflect about what is going on in my heart.   Now I'm going to do it again and try to be more deliberate in the areas that I fell short - the more specific statements and encouragements that were supposed to be delivered to Mr.  I don't think he missed them but he certainly deserves them.

I'll try to be back sooner.
Seriously.

Blessings of challenges met, eyes widened and a great big deep breath of awesome in your day!
the Mrs.

the one with the 5 in the middle

I haven't wanted to totally jinx myself.
To say it out loud and claim it for fear it would become elusive again.

But I've seen it....that number with the mythical 5 in the middle.....and it didn't go anywhere.

one 5 nine

Its a 5.  Not a 6.  But a 5!  That six got kicked in the arse and has made its way off to who cares where!

It was last week....Bon Jovi started to sing to me in my head about living on a prayer and being half way there.  It was delightful.

I've since changed my weigh in methods.  Numbers don't compute or stay well in my brain.  My scale has memory functions and keeps track of my start weight, goal weight and 5 saved weigh ins at a time.  It tells me how much I've lost total and how much I have left to lose.  I was only saving my weight on Mondays and then periodically weighing in during the week to check in on how things were moving.  The frustrating part would be the days that I would be down over 2lbs but at the end of the week the saved weight didn't show that highlight - or that after the good drop I'd gained back some.   So, my new method: weigh in several times a week as I remember - but always on Mondays.  When there is a good successful drop Save THAT one and track from that point to maintain motivation and drive - as well as the reward of success in hitting that save button on a good note!  Those are the only numbers that get saved though.  Only the good ones.  So if I start to slip up....the scale feedback builds.  Instead of a +.2 one week and then next being a +.1.2 I'll get the total of +1.4 so my brain will SEE that it's not JUST a small gain this week but SEE the accumulation of how far from that success point I am getting.  To me that is more motivating - to be able to hit the save button again! :)

Oh 5, you are ever so lovely.

Added bonus.....I gave my daughter 3 pairs of my jeans.  They required a belt and were saggy and baggy...totally unflattering and I wasn't going to wear them anymore.   She's been waiting for that moment.  She's already worn all three pairs.  They look better on her anyway.  She's 8 inches taller than I and they hit all the right places on her slender but curvy teen bod.  I'm still pretty boxy in the middle.  I think I accidentally got a mans rib cage, for a short chick I've always had this broad ribcage.   Granted it does wonders for the 'girls' but really.....they don't need assistance the way they did in high school.  Once school starts the Mr and I will be having a little shopping day of our own.  I only have 3 pair of pants now....in total.  Oh darn! :)

Blessings of your own kind of fabulous 5's in your life,
the Mrs.

An update, a weigh in and heavy compliment

Well mark me absent.  Sorry.  A lot of life happens in August!

So that porch project I mentioned a while back......or at least I think I mentioned it.....who really keeps track?  It circled the bowl for a while and disappeared, thanks to city codes.  So that idea morphed into "lets just get some patio furniture and make that weird, uninviting space more inviting" because hey!, good timing, furniture in the patio variety is going on clearance everywhere.  On a Monday morning I saw a tent sale outside a new furniture store and it was full of patio stuff.  Tuesday evening we went to check it out and it was gone.  Like the tent never was.  So we went inside thinking we'd ask or at least find the last few reject pieces to look at.  Nothing.  Since we were there we figured we should look around because we made the trip and we've been thinking about (and saving for) new living room furniture for years but not decided what we really wanted.  Turned out they were having a big sale.  We took the week to think about it and set a budget.  Saturday we looked again, calculated over and over, discussed, sat, laid down, rearranged and measured, sat some more, made ourselves reaaaaaally comfy and finally decided.  Part of the new set arrives on Thursday!  A sectional big enough that, for the first time since we've been married, my 6'6 husband can actually lay down comfortably and all of us will be able to be on it, at the same time, EVEN if he is laying down!  I'm a tad excited.  We haven't owned a new piece of furniture (that wasn't someone else's first) in about 10 years.  A new coffee table and end table arrive in about 6 weeks (on back order).

School prep is in full swing.  One boy down and one girl to go.  Tomorrow its schedule pick up and then off to shop for her new fashion identity for this year.  She's been Pinteresting like crazy!

The Dude's bedroom Transformation is 99% complete.  Just a few little things left to hang.....which I keep forgetting about.

I am currently in conflicted mommy mode.  I am so excited and ready for school to start and to get into a normal rhythm as well as get some alone time back and be able to get things done in the house in a more efficient manner.......but school starting also means that we go back to barely seeing Wonderteen.  It feels forever between weekends and considering how much closer we've all gotten this summer, it will probably feel worse.  Watching these kids grow and come into themselves is so amazing and the school year tends to bring on explosive growth.  It always seems that school starts and within a month I'm noticing big "growing up" changes in conversation and responsibility.

Weigh-ins have continued.  I feel like I've been driving toward 160 with a bungee cord attached to my butt.  I push to get there and right when I think its within my reach I am pulled back a pound....or even two.  It's been frustrating.  Though while the number dance has been happening I've noticed definition happening.  My face continues to change, my collar bones and arms look different.  Watches and rings continue to get bigger.  Belts are still losing notches and those shorts that started to feel baggy are now looking baggy and unflattering. I finally had to bite the bullet and get the girls some new gear......yes, I had to do the dreaded bra shopping again.  Though this time I actually purchased.  When they measured me they didn't tell me "uh, you need an F, we don't carry those".  Instead I heard the great news that I officially am down a band size into the 30's instead of the 40's but.....lets just say that a double turned into a triple and now that my mid section is starting to slim more, the girls are just.....OUT THERE.
As of yesterday I am solidly at 160.0.  I didn't buy avocados this week, I am going to avoid oil like the plague, I bought one bar of chocolate and marked each piece with a day of the week so I can have one square per day and it will be easy to see when I have had too many.  Though I didn't eat one yesterday.....amazing.  This week I am hoping to FINALLY get into the 150's and break through this wall. I read about all these people who make the switch to a plant based diet and just start dropping pounds left and right....it's not happening for me!  Its frustrating but I know that my body has held on to the pounds tightly.  Friends are dropping as much, or even in one case double, what I have already lost and they've done it in at least half the time.  I've now been doing this for well over a year and I'm only down 32 lbs.  I'm not saying that 32 isn't any big deal - it is a big deal and it's a lot of weight - I just really thought I'd be done by now.   Exercise....well, that really hasn't been happening.  It took several weeks for my hips to recover from the cabin jogging I did and a couple weeks ago, then I attempted the treadmill and my hips went all kinds of painful crazy.  So it appears that being a runner is not in my future and I've been avoiding the treadmill as I like feeling comfortable walking.  Once school starts I plan to start working some Pilate's into my day, as that is gentle on the joints, can be done in short increments and most positions are laying down which should be easy on the hips.

In more romantic news....Last week Mr schemed with the kids to get me out on a surprise date.  He sent me flowers and asked me out just like he did for our very first date.  We went out to dinner and to see the new Batman in Imax (still loved it by the way).  While we were at dinner he stopped and looked at me, really looked at me, and told me that since we've been married, I've never been more beautiful.  Other than the first 6 months we were together (when I was a tiny 115 and a size 4....who knows what size that would be today though) I've been heavy.  It started with beginning birth control and packing on a whopping 50 pounds in less than 5 months. It just wouldn't come off.....that combined with the diet change of "mommy and daddy's groceries" to "living on your own groceries" it just did bad things to my body and I haven't looked the same since.  For years I've looked in the mirror and not recognized myself.  Flipping back and forth between a vision in my head being smaller than reality and then looking in the mirror and feeling much larger than reality.  Now however...in my head I see myself at my goal weight and size and my body feels uncomfortably big and in the way.  It causes frustration.....and humor......one day I was laying down and put my hand down at my waist and felt this bulge.  At first I thought "what the heck is that!"  and then.....I  realized it was a fat roll and laughed myself silly.  Even the fat that is still there is different.   Everything is changing, fitting differently, looking differently....my face probably fascinates me the most.  I've seen this fat girl so long and focused on what I wanted my body to look like for so long that my new slimmer face surprises me.  When I see pictures, I think whoa....that is me???   Crazy.

The heavy compliment?  It came from Mr as we walked into the furniture store.  We were having a conversation about people we know with negative attitudes, how it seems like they search for things to complain about and can't seem to see the good in anything.  Then Mr says "They don't have a joyful spirit and aren't lucky enough to have a wife who has a joyful spirit to teach them."  It went something like that...but it really hit me and I didn't know what to say as I felt tears start to well up.  Of course those had to be stuffed down because we were going into the store and I really didn't need to be that girl at the moment. Those words though....it is a heavy compliment.  Its both something to live up to and affirming something I've striven for most of my life.  To take all of the trials and challenges life has handed me and make myself better with them.....never bitter.  It's always been a challenge to mentally not pull the "oh poor me" card or fall into that trap the world seems to set for people "oh you've been through so much, I'd be a little angry at the world too".  NO.  Adversity is NO excuse for a bad attitude, anger, bitterness or an invasive negativity that is toxic to everyone around you.  Adversity is an opportunity, to grow, to learn, to be stretched, to have the ability to stand in someone else's shoes and be able to mean it when you say I understand.  Adversity is an opportunity to gain wisdom.  Don't focus on the love and support you needed and didn't get - you can't go back and change your experience in life any more than you can change the ingredients in last nights dinner.  Focus on how you can use that experience.  Love and support someone else the way you needed it.  Give to others what you wish you'd received.  Missing out is not a valid reason for withholding from others.  It might just bring you healing in the process.

A joyful spirit....  Wow.  Me?  He really thinks that of me?   ......that may be the compliment of a lifetime.

Blessings to you, for a joyful spirit in all things transitional and stationary, may the blessing of laughter and joy bubble up from within your soul and be displayed on your face.
the Mrs.

Vacation eats

For one whole week we had this glorious view.

yes, it was hard to leave!

Considering I didn't want to spend the whole week in the kitchen I cooked some things ahead and planned for simplicity.  I brought key safe foods I knew would be hard to find, like the organic beef hot dogs my son likes, whole grain tortillas and sandwich flats, lunch meat for the meat eaters etc.  I also baked several batches of breakfast cookies and froze them, along with pre-cooked peppers and onions, a batch of sweet potato/black bean/spinach enchilada filling and I also brought a jar of last summers homemade spaghetti sauce.  Here's what the fridge looked like:

Top left to right: clausen dill spears, behind that is the frozen enchilada mix and the peppers that are thawing. in front is the bag of breakfast cookies, laying on top of a bag of cooked white rice.  Behind that is a bag of cilantro and I think the bag under it is the spinach. The yellow container in front has lettuce in it. Resting on top is my fav Trader Joes Chipotle Hummus along with zip lock bags with red and yellow peppers and leftover diced tomatoes.  On the right you'll see Simply OJ, with water, corona and whats left of the jar of spaghetti sauce. (next shelf) lunch meats, cumin spiced black beans in the white container, baked potatoes (thrown on the still hot grill after a dinner so there were days worth of potatoes) big bowl of fresh Pico De Gallo. (Next Shelf) Strawberries blue berries, eggs, alfalfa sprouts (requested by wonderteen) other beer and pop.
The drawers were filled with apples, oranges, lemons, limes, peppers, cukes, onions, mushrooms and anything else we fit.  I also had a basket of bananas and tomatoes on the counter.

As a treat for the family I packed all the dry ingredients for their favorite gluten free chocolate chip cookies.  Old peanut butter containers are AWESOME travel containers!  Wash and save!  We have used them for so many travel purposes.  Mr loves to take a small one and have it filled with MnM's or nuts and keep it in his golf bag.

I used two containers for the dry mix and brought a post it with the remaining wet measures that were needed. As you can see, I made due with what I had.  Some tin foil over a pizza pan and cookies were made without needing to wash the pan!  They came back from fishing to a cabin smelling of cookies!

My plant based cookbook in the back of the cupboard, surrounded by canned beans and the rice, sugar and popcorn that was transported to the cabin via old Jif jars. It was SO handy!

Food was a piece of cake. I loosely planned basic meals: 1 mexican night, 1 pasta night, 2 grilling nights, a fish fry night, and a random night of leftovers at the end to clean up and take less food home.  The kids thought mom was ultra creative by using large mugs to refrigerate leftovers.  My daughter was very pleased and loving her veggie filled sandwiches and trying new things.  We decided to try mushroom burgers together and we both very much enjoyed them!  Though we did realize that she likes hers more well done and I'd prefer mine more rare.  Our big note to self was to prepare better for the first day and the first nights meal.  Day one was a bit on the sparse side for food because we didn't realize the tiny town grocery was so limited on what it carried - even in produce.  So we went into town the next day and finished up our grocery shopping.  

We had a wonderful time and even came home lighter than when I left! Only -.8 but hey, who can say they lost weight on vacation!   ME! :)

Plant based on vacation.  It CAN be done and without stress!

Blessings for a beautiful day!

the Mrs.

why do you do...that thing you do

Do you ever go back to basics and really contemplate, why?  We make such deliberate choices about our cars, daycare, schools, clothes, jobs, electronics.....but the stuff that actually sustains and feeds the necessary functioning of our body - the one thing on that list that can't be replaced - we are mindless about it.  We choose so much in life based on a basic code of who we want to be but often there is no code when it comes to food.  Food is reduced to the importance of taste, speed, cost and convenience.  Sure, we will justify having a $400 car payment but the price of an organic apple?  Craziness.  What do we value?  What is our priority?  Are we aware that we are putting tainted fuel into our bodies?  If it was our car that was getting cheap additives that shortened the life of it's engine....we would be calling for our money back and a recall of the bad quality product.  


Do we make decisions based on the opinions of others, which can be easily changed by their suggestions or do we make informed decisions and stand firm in them so that pressure and suggestion don't "toss us about like the waves of the sea"? (Eph.4:14)


What does "diet" mean to you?  Is it a short term goal or a way of life?


Diet: 

1. (Noun) The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.
2. (Verb)  Restrict oneself to small amounts or special kinds of food in order to lose weight: "it is difficult to diet in a house full of cupcakes."

In trying to be purposeful about not pushing my diet on anyone and not shouting to the hills or getting all crazy about it, I've been listening more.  It seems as if everyone is ON a diet (verb) instead of choosing a diet (noun).  

I'd like to settle into noun.  I'd like my "diet" to be stable, defined and comfortable - for me.  No more diets (verb) of temporary fluctuation, doing this "for now" with the intention of changing it all again later when I get to my goal.  I am making a conscious choice to be as intentional with my food as I am with other things in my life.  When I make big decisions I do my research, I see if it lines up with my moral compass, my philosophy and approach to life.  I shared not too long ago that I cancelled weight watchers, stopped measuring or counting.

My life choice is to eat a plant based diet. I will eat when I'm hungry, avoid animal products and oils will only be used sparingly during cooking.  Will this potentially slow down my weight loss?  Probably...but what is my main, "big picture" intention?  Health.  I feel amazing!  My body is getting smaller and feels more healthy.  I feel stronger and have more energy than I have in a decade or more.  My food choices no longer cause panic and the risk of reaction has dropped to nothing.  You can't change the ingredients in a tomato or lettuce!  If the weight slows down, I'm okay with that because slow is better than nothing.  There will be ups and downs sure but overall a bump in the road is nothing compared to the overall direction of how healthy I feel.  Over the course of my life I suspect that my weight will continue to drop slowly and eventually stabilize out to where I should be.  If I want to lose more, then I should move more.  

Plant Based, Atkins, eat for your blood type, Mediterranean, cabbage soup, calorie counting, low carb, high carb, low fat, high protein, Vegan, Vegetarian, Slim Fast, Slimgenics, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Med Fast......it's no wonder people are confused!  These are all labels, descriptors of how we choose what to eat and why....but I think we've stopped asking why and just said "okay, whatever you say."

None of them say the same thing!   There are so many labels and some are moderately defined or so individual they carry no meaning.  Others are programs based on restriction and other programs....well they kinda blow my mind. "Don't eat that banana but here, eat this packet of powder."  All in the name of weight loss....not health....but if we were eating REAL food in healthy portions we wouldn't need to lose weight in the first place.  There are redeeming qualities in a lot of programs but I'm coming to the conclusion that they all have the same flaw - they are temporary.

Yesterday our daughter (16) and I got into a conversation about food.....I don't remember what she asked but it started this conversation about diets, nutrition, the differences between vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian/plant based, protein needs and food in general.  I started to have trouble answering questions, I never want to answer questions incorrectly (and teens talk so darn fast!), so I suggested that she watch Forks Over Knives because it would answer more clearly some of what she was asking.  We would both have the same information and be able to have a conversation more easily about her questions.  I wasn't equipped with the clinical answers and didn't want her to get the idea that this was a "fad diet" but that there was a great deal of research done about it.  Regardless of what her opinion was at the end of the film, I was interested in what she thought.

So we watched it together and she asked lots of questions during the movie.  At the end she said "I think I want to be pescatarian.  I LOVE fish, I don't think I could give it up but the rest....I could do that."  She followed it up with making a bold statement on FB about adopting a whole foods, plant based diet and eating fish.  I expected interesting conversation but not that she would make this bold decision.  What and how I eat has been a topic of conversation for years...she always has good questions and is curious.  Last weekend it was about what vegan meant and was I a vegan.  

I explained that I wouldn't call myself a vegan.  The term is attached to a political/activist view point.  I don't approve of the mistreatment of animals but animal rights has nothing to do with why I don't eat them.  I don't care that they have a face or a mommy...some of the tastiest animals are pretty darn cute and I am not giving up my leather boots.  (Don't shoot me.) I don't eat them because I feel so much better NOT eating them.  Frankly I don't believe we were originally created to eat meat.  My base line for eating a plant based diet is health, original design and the reality that most of my life I haven't felt good in my own skin.  Some of that is weight, some of that is physical injury but most of that is illness.   I still have weight to lose to increase that comfort factor but what I started for vanity has merged into wellness and health for my body...and my mind (sure there is vanity tossed in there as well...lets be real).  I have made myself clear to her that this is HER decision, she will not receive any pressure or critique from me.  Help on the other hand is available in abundance - but she needs to ask, and I'll help equip her with recipes and knowledge to merge into this as easily as she can.  NO negativity or criticism about choosing to still eat fish.  Its her choice and as she learns she may change her mind, but its hers to change.  In the long term I think at the very least making a decision like this is a wonderful step of independence and will carry lots of lessons in making choices that aren't necessarily popular and how to stand your ground when others who don't understand your choices try to push you to conform to what they want for themselves.  She's growing into such an interesting, intelligent and amazing young woman.  I am so proud to be in her life!

Do you think about why you do the things you do?  Why you eat what you eat?  Do you care?

Blessings of firm ground to stand on and strength to stand against the crashing waves, 

the Mrs.

UPDATED: I have no idea what the highlighted wonky stuff is going on in the beginning of this post or how to fix it....so you have my apologies for the wonkadoodleness.

veggies made me do it

To some the changes I've made recently would seem extreme.  ....frankly in the past I considered something like this extreme or excessive.  I've struggled to wrap my head around someones choice to just be a vegetarian....let alone a vegan.

Why in the world would anyone CHOOSE to give up BACON???

Yet, here I am.  Eating plant strong and feeling the best I have in years.  The energy levels that I am feeling are seriously blowing my mind.  I (you may want to sit for this) got on the treadmill the other day just because I was feeling like I NEEDED to expend some energy!  .....aliens have not invaded my body.....I don't think...

My mind is so much clearer. I don't feel like I'm walking in a fog anymore.  I feel stronger and like I have a spark, my spunk is back!  I asked Mr if he'd noticed any differences and he said that he sees more energy and that I seem happier.  Happier?  Yes, that is one of the crazy things I've noticed....I wasn't UNhappy before.  I would say that in general I am a fairly happy and positive person but now?  Pollyanna ain't got nuthin on me!

I feel like I am actually getting to watch myself change in the mirror every day.  My face looks different.  My cheek bones are starting to be more defined, my jawline too and that second chin I thought would never ever make its way back to wherever it was from.....its disappearing.  Clothes fit differently.  Shorts that were tight not that long ago slide on easily now and with extra room in some places!  New clothes I bought only 2 weeks ago are now baggy!  I had to buy new undies too. The weight is coming off slowly, but the fat....the visible markers of weight.....are melting off.  I can see it in my hands, face, shoulders, legs....all over!  Yesterday my brother in law saw a new picture of me on facebook....."this may seem like a dumb question but is that you?"  I assured him that it was me and he proceeded to tell me how great I looked in the funniest best way possible that a younger brother in law can. It made my day!

I cancelled my weight watchers account.  Yep, I did.  I don't have any need to count or measure anything anymore.  $$$ saved.

If you've been reading here for long you know that my struggle with food has been exhausting and consuming.  My relationship with food has been more based on fear than nutrition.  When I talked about food my only perspective was to preach about its danger.....this didn't go over well in many ways....but it was authentic.  It was my truth and where I was standing, food had lost its goodness and was more of a cage for me.  It was about restriction.   

Not any more.

For the first time in several years I feel a freedom and enjoyment with food that goes beyond my kitchen.  Last night we planned to go out to dinner to celebrate the Dude graduating from elementary school. (no kids menu for him, thank you)  I checked out the menu ahead of time and decided I'd have a greek salad, no chicken, cheese or pita and a plain baked potato on the side.  NO ANXIETY.  No fear.  Hesitation and negativity were not my dinner companions.  There was no cloud of resentment or boredom hovering over me.  I didn't need to struggle to not make negative comments about being bored by the same old restaurant dinner.  I enjoyed it.  Even my very first baked potato without butter was good!   I felt full and satisfied at the end.  No mental cloud or wave of confusion, no bloating or intestinal discomfort.  I felt GOOD.  I enjoyed going out!  

This is one of those times where I feel so good I want to shout to the world that everyone should do this!  Everyone should eat this way!!  Like the euphoria of falling in love making you want to fix up everyone you know so they too can be THIS happy.  Yep, that's how amazing this is.  But I've learned from my past.  Preaching to people who haven't asked or expressed interest....doesn't get you anywhere.  Kinda works the same way with Jesus sadly.  Restraint is my companion now.  I have made choices that are working for me.  I have made choices that are enhancing my life and even my relationships....because my attitude is positive.  Preaching the poisons and sins of meat and processed foods will get you nowhere fast....and reduce your conversations quite a bit too.  Before - fear and restraint were heavy in my conversation.  Now, I am taking a new approach.  I am living.  I am living my choices, making them with joy and enjoyment and letting the world see the change in my body, my demeanor...me.   I am choosing to allow the world to ask instead of getting on a soapbox and pointing my finger at the offenders.  My job is to take care of MY body, not everyone else's.  The nurturer in me struggles with that.  Others in my life need to make their own food choices....even those closest to me....and I need to be able to respect them even if their nutritional choices concern or disgust me.  It's not going in my body, so I need to shut up and be an example instead of a downer.

In my heart I would love for everyone I know to try this for a week, 2 weeks or take the Engine 2 challenge. I would love for everyone I know to feel this good and see the benefits that I have.  Reality tells me that most will look at the choice I'm making and slap on the "vegan politics" and see "restriction" in neon flashing over my head.  I don't feel restricted though.  My craving for meat or dairy is totally gone.  Has it been tough to learn to do a few things differently?  Sure.  All new adventures have their challenges and puzzles to solve but among all the food based Rubik's cube puzzles I've had to solve, this one has been the easiest.  

Do I miss ice cream? Yep.  But I'll figure that one out in time.  For now I've figured out how to make amazing sherbet.  (I'll show you how soon!)  I have discovered the most amazing maple banana nut breakfast cookies and I am totally in love with them.  They are so fast and easy to make!  Double the recipe and freeze some.  When you are in a pinch and don't have time for a full meal - grab and go!  I've done it, it helps!  I'll show you those too!  Last night I had popcorn.  How?  I popped organic kernels in a paper bag in the microwave, drizzled a little walnut oil on and sprinkled with salt.  It was good enough (even though I did slightly burn it) that Mr stole more than a handful...or three.

I hope to start being able to show you more of how I'm doing this and that it isn't hard at all.  If you want me to address anything specific let me know.....though that would require someone to comment....ever....for this to not be just a one way conversation.  ehem.  Just sayin.

Blessings for a wonderful weekend to officially kick off summer!

the Mrs.

Whats cookin?

Cooking ahead has been one of my latest endeavors.  Make it easy to have as many ingredients at the tips of your fingers for the healthiest choices to happen....right?  It's always when we are hungry and our brains are all "ohhhh, I don't know.....YOU pick!" that things run a muck and what could have been a healthy meal becomes pastry or chocolate or whatever you might pull out of a box or bag that you didn't make yourself.

So I gave up meat a while ago right?  Started to feel even better.   ...funny how you don't realize that you can feel better until you do....  So then I watched all those food documentaries....Food Matters and Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. I also watched Engine 2 Kitchen Makeover recently and have been seeing stuff about this diet (in terms of nutrition lifestyle not "I'm going to do this for a few months to lose weight" diet) that this Texas firefighter has written about and researched in test groups.  Go figure that he's the son of the doctor who conducted the China Study mentioned in Forks Over Knives.  He and his family have been eating this way for years and he has lived and intimately known the benefits.  So he is sharing what he knows in very practical down to earth terms.

I feel like I kind of fell into it naturally.  Processed food has been out for quite some time. I took meat out a few months ago. Quit the coffee and gradually ended up reducing dairy to the point where I kinda don't need or miss it - except for those few drops in my black tea...mmmm.

So here I am, eating "plant strong" and feeling better than I realized that I didn't feel.  My energy has started to return and my mind seems clearer, sharper than it has in a long, long time.  I am so much more productive...its kinda crazy.  Though most of my productivity has been in the kitchen.  I don't quite have this cooking ahead thing down to a smooth science yet.....in terms of planning exactly what I'm going to make and thinking ahead about how much of it I'm going to make.  So I've spent about 3 days in the kitchen this week.  I'm trying to expand my cooking horizon.  Its really learning all over again.  It didn't take much thought to just throw things together before but now....for now....it takes time to really think about not only what to cook but how to cook it.  I'm the only one in the house that is skipping the animal products....so that means I need to make sure that the rest of the family has things that are appealing to them.  Dude hates beans....unless its a green one, his nose is turned up in the most disgusted manner at just the sight of them.  Mr has been fine but is oh so tired of the mexican themed food.   Generally that spice palate is incredibly easy to throw together and I love it.

I've been avoiding the whole label of "Vegan".  Cuz I'm not.  "Vegan" has this more political, environmentalist, fist shaking, yoga doing, save the animals and don't eat anything that casts a shadow, hippy vibe about it.....that it's way more than just about food nutrition.  I'm not a vegan, I just eat like one.  I love my leather boots and I love the leather jackets that I hope to fit back into by fall.  I believe that the cutest of farm animals are generally the tastiest and bacon is still meat candy and I'm sure I will forever call every pig I see, Bacon.   But my body functions better with a vegan diet.  My mind actually works better on a vegan diet...that in and of itself is the greatest blessing.  I still have pain issues and probably always will.  To think...clearly and freely is something that so many people take for granted.  While my brain will never return to the beauty it was at 15 before my car accident, it is a true source of joy to be aware enough, clear enough, to realize that I AM thinking more clearly and quickly.  What a gift the Lord has given us in FOOD!

Clean, God designed, natural food.  For that reason, I will promote eating this way.  Think of the canary that miners brought into the tunnels with them.  The bird was tiny and oh so sensitive to unclean air.  If that bird dropped over they knew they needed to get out of there.  Think of me as the canary in the tunnel of the food world.  Stick to the good stuff.

So what have I been making while spending all this time in the kitchen?

Grilling up tons of peppers and onions.

Peppers and onions have become a wonderful staple.  They grill up and keep so well.  I chop them a bit smaller and put them on rice, salads (who needs dressing with that kind of flavor?), wraps and sandwiches.  

Method: chop peppers and onions of choice (I used green bell and a combo of red and sweet yellow onion),  place a big sheet of heavy aluminum foil on the grill (enough to fold in half so its double layered), lightly spray with olive oil spray or your favorite spray oil to help with sticking, sprinkle with salt and pepper, garlic powder (crushed garlic tends to burn really easily).  If you want to add more zip, try chili powder, chipotle powder, oregano and squeeze a lime over the top near the end.  SO YUM.

Pico de Gallo

Fresh chopped tomatoes, green pepper, jalapeno, cilantro, onion, lemon/lime juice and a bit of salt. SO good!  Put that on salads, wraps and rice bowls.  So fresh, so good, we run out so quickly!

Veggie burgers.

Not something I thought I'd like but wanted to try.  I know that I can't eat the processed ones from the store so I found a recipe...where else but on Pinterest.  These are so easy and so good.  The original recipe calls for what else but chili powder and a mexican flavor.  The first time I made them I followed the directions.  The second time I changed the seasoning a bit and used, garlic, onion, thyme and parsley (all dried). It was wonderful!  Smelled like meatloaf even before I cooked them! YUM.

I have made Vegan Enchiladas with sweet potato and black beans that I am totally in love with. Sorry no pictures.  Make them, you too will fall in love.  I honestly have yet to make the avocado cream sauce simply because I can't get past the amazing filling to even think that it could get any better.  BUT here's a tip: inside your enchiladas, put a little brown rice, some of those grilled peppers and onions and the enchilada filling....and die happy....and healthy. :)

This week I made Banana Oatmeal Cookies to have for breakfast. My alteration was to use diced prunes instead of raisins and I added walnuts. Again, awesomeness. SO yummy and the crunch of the walnut is the perfect addition.  

Last week I even tried non-dairy frozen banana based ice cream.  It turned out wonderful and creamy.  I made strawberry.  I think this could be tweaked to suit your individual sweet tooth and the flavor changed in many ways.  

There are still SO many things to try!  Its all so exciting and a tad overwhelming at the same time but when you feel this good - and over 4lbs falls off without doing a dang thing to make it happen - it is amazingly worth it.  In time I know that I'll figure out a new rhythm and not have to spend so much time in the kitchen. Until then....I think I'll be there a lot.  I really need to find things that Mr will like and mix flavors up a bit for him.  As of now he's not joining me in this Engine 2, vegan, no animals in my food diet adventure BUT he has said "if you make it, I'll eat it".  He loved the enchiladas by the way.  Apparently he forgot there was no meat in them until I reminded him....they are that good.

Have a wonderfully long weekend and I'll keep you up to date on how this is going.  I can't believe there are only 2 weeks left of school....I'm not sure I'm prepared for summer yet!

Blessings for a luxuriously long recharging weekend, filled with memories and fun!

the Mrs.

a different monday.....a break to reboot and rekindle

Time for a switch.  I think I've been taking mental multitasking to a whole new level.....at least for me.  I need to slow it down and cut a few things out.  I determined that I'm taking a vacation from weight-loss.

What does that mean?  No counting.  No treadmill - unless I have a genuine desire to....but lets be real, it's unlikely to happen.  No pressure.   My LIFE is about paying attention to food, what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, how it makes me feel, what ingredients have changed and how I need to counteract it all.  It's a full time job all on its own. I think I need to step away so I can return with a refreshed desire for the goal.  The family challenge that we set about a month ago is off.  No one was really taking it seriously and it didn't have the motivational desire we thought it would.  Mr is going to continue to do his own thing and keep going.

I'm still going to weigh in every Monday like I have for the last year.  I'm not going to report it here for now though.   I'm still going to be watching what I eat and how much but I'm going to be focusing in a bit more on the balance of plants to grains....less of the white food and more of the colorful stuff.

Yesterday I watched "Food Matters" and "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"  and rebooted my attitude with food and why I need to be vigilant about what I eat.  Along with my attitude, my passion was rebooted.  I think that is something we all need from time to time.  We can get into a rut with our routines and the monotony of our own normalcy.  The shine and the passion can dull a bit bringing the need to go back to the roots, the beginnings of why we do what we do.  Renewal is good.  I really don't have a choice about how I eat, but I have a choice about how I look at it....what my attitude is.  These were excellent films on their own but they were especially good reminders for me.  A rekindling of the passion and joy that is found in eating natural whole foods and squelching the feeling of it being work.

My attention is needed in more important areas than my waistline. The Great Purge of 2012 must go on as well as the reorganizing that needs attending to.  As our family merges into a new era of life, its time to re-evaluate the efficiency of all the areas in our home so we can move into the next season ready to take on all the new challenges it may offer.  The Dude has his room re-do coming up - now that colors have finally been chosen.  We are in the very early stages of planning a screen porch build on the back patio....we will be building it with the generous help of friends time and energy.  We are planning a sweet 16 birthday party for our WonderTeen and there is just so much family goodness going on in all these things.

For now, this season, my focus is on slowing down.  Doing what I do with intention and joy. Purging not just our home of clutter, but my mind of hurry and life of excess.  Loving the process and the people it's all for.

While "weight-loss" and I may be on a break, I think I'll have lots of other things to chat about.

Blessings of a slowed down love bringing you back to your roots,
the Mrs.

weigh in monday - where oh where has the determination gone?

+.6.....I could use the excuse that I didn't get on the treadmill last night because my pelvis appears to not want to play nicely with the rest of my body and walking would not have helped.   BUT if I'd lost what I should have during the week then yesterday shouldn't have made a difference.

What happened to determination?  Not just mine either.  No one in this house appears to be taking losing weight seriously anymore.  No one is counting or watching the clock, making sure we don't eat past a certain time.  When did simply not gaining become praiseworthy?  This is silly!  We had goals!  We were motivated and determined!  Now there seems to be this slacker attitude that the minimum effort is good enough.  TWO POUNDS used to be the goal for ONE WEEK.....now, oh well that it's taken a month to lose that with the yo-yo weigh ins.  

This team needs a cranky coach to yell and put us in our lazy places.  BENCHED!  Though...technically that would defeat our particular purpose...

It seems to be a weird season right now....filled with milestones, full calendars and an abundance to be thoughtful about.  Spring simply won't fully emerge here and I've yet to start even one seed.  Our beautiful daughter is going to be sweet 16 one week from today - the party is delayed due to a crazy weekend calendar but still it needs planning.  As I dropped off our son this morning, I realized that the end of my driving him to elementary school was in sight....middle school is ahead.  Mr has been working like a mad man and putting in all sorts of crazy hours just trying to keep up.  There is our shift from "Home for now" to "this IS our home" and lists are being made for the various modifications, repairs and improvements that we'd like to accomplish...eventually (thanks to pinterest we have some visual aids).  First, we must decide what we can and want to accomplish this year.  I'm sure it will take years to get through the list but taking it out in manageable chunks each year will help.  We are purging the house like crazy...already about 4 storage tubs are filled.  SO proud of the kids for parting with things instead of hoarding their possessions.  It's the Dude's year for a bedroom remodel, WonderTeen had her's for her 10th birthday and now it's his turn. I love the idea of a more grown up room at those pivotal growing seasons - creating an environment with them that reflects who they are and can grow with them.   Softball season is starting for Mr, and there is golf league too.  A garden project at church.  Holidays and birthdays for important people coming up....

I'm sure there is more.....for goodness sake no wonder I can't concentrate on anything.  My brain doesn't know how to juggle!  Time for some serious lists and organizing.  Some delegating too.

Determination - I need you and your buddies energy and motivation to move in and kick some rears into gear!

Guess I'd better get to it!

Blessings of determined successes to you,
the Mrs

whooops....

I don't know if anyone noticed that I didn't post yesterday.....but I didn't.

Sorry.  I was distracted by attempting to be more productive and efficient with my time because I have noticed that my work has been slipping.  That kind of thing is always terrifically highlighted with the impending arrival of visitors.   Though my awareness was there already but.....magnified by the fact that people would actually be here.  With kids.  And helping my hubby to fix things we have no idea how to fix.....which means closing doors and keeping the lights off won't do the trick this time.   

Since downsizing our cable package to only one box (the DVR must be saved) the basement doesn't get used so much.  It had become a catchall for random things that just weren't used or needed a halfway house before they were donated.  It feels nice to walk through now and it looks like our house again.  

I've made myself some lists.  Things I need to reorganize, rooms, cupboards, closets....areas that have been neglected and "caught" too many items waiting for a final home.  I use to pride myself of the efficiency of how I ran the house.  I'm not sure where I lost that but I am determined to find it again.  It's time to purge and simplify this home we've decided will be the place we stay.  We won't be moving again.   We came to the conclusion that by the time the market turned around or we were able to right-side-up our mortgage, the kids would more than likely be out of the house (or close to it) and it would just be us anyway.  We don't need more space and I would have a hard time leaving my kitchen and garden.  

I'm slowly working my way through Rhonda's book, savoring each morsel and at just the right moment, when I was pondering what our future plans might be, I read this: "Let me be very clear about this: buying a simple home that is within your budget and can be modified to suit you and your family is the best investment."  There was a tremendous amount of wisdom to be found after that too but the logic here was beyond argument.  Stay put and modify where you already are.  

I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.

Phil. 4:12-13

Its interesting to start looking around - for the first time - and have to remind myself that we can make changes and not think about how it will affect "resale value" because we are settling in.  This place is ours to shape and change to what suits US.  Its a really comforting feeling.

Perhaps just what I needed to reignite my motivation in my work.

Here's yesterdays weigh in details:

A whopping -.2 but a loss is a loss right!  The whole family lost, which is good but collectively the three of us lost 1 whole pound.  That is rather sad.  I think motivation has taken a vacation.   We need to call it back home!

Blessings of warmth and springy blossomy goodness to you, 

the Mrs

weigh in monday 24...?- who's really counting anymore anyway?

Lemon tartlets.....I blame you.   +1   I am not the only one who gained though.....we ALL did!  I'm fairly certain it's my fault though because dessert was basically what we all gorged on.  I made lemon tartlets in muffin tins, banana bread and cream puffs.   Yeah....it was yummy.

We did however go for a walk last night on the nature trails by our home and went about 4 miles.   I think out of everyone I probably got the most physical activity out of that because Dude was on his bike and Mr is tall as all get out.  So in order for me to simply walk next to his lanky handsome self, I need to double time my steps.  He is 1'3 taller than I am.  Yes, I am short....but even more so - he is just crazy tall at 6'6.   Anyway, so he pushed me a bit and we even jogged for a tiny bit, I was able to keep up with him too!  Granted....he was probably going slow, for him.  Ah well.

Guess we all need our rears kicked into gear because the penalty jar is eating way too much cash.

Starve the jar......that needs to be our motto.

Blessings to you this day for joy and productivity!
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 22? - I'm starting to lose track....

Today's weigh in was stellar......compared the last, well, several.  -2.4   I feel like I'm back on the wagon.

It was an intense week of way too heavy things to process and it knocked the funny right out of me.  In fact I am exhausted.

Though....I am in desperate need of shorts to cover up my chicken legs.....or uncover them...  I get way to hot to wear pants when it's like 60 degrees out.  Though the interesting revelation is that my hypothesis may be correct.

The more weight I drop the more likely I am to wear something skirty, dress-like or feminine in a non frilly kind of way.   I need to work on this front pouch and it's flattening.  The trouble with carrying all your weight in one area is that eventually you are a bit like an impractical kangaroo......you've got the pouch but it's completely useless without an opening.   Kinda like those suit coat pockets they sew shut, they're just for looks......but.....the opposite.   Cuz this don't look good.

Anyhooo........time to rifle through my pin boards looking for ways to "flatten that tummy", "get rid of that pooch" and etc.

Currently I don't believe there is enough caffeine in the world to keep my eyes open.  I'm looking forward to sleep but there is just too much to do.

In other news.....my calendar is taunting me.....the original deadline for my goal are right there with the flip of the page.   No way to make it now unless its surgically removed or God removes it......preferably while I sleep Lord, I know You are reading.

Blessings for an amazing week and perspectives that point out all the good bits in every situation,
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 21 - 5 bucks

+.6   yeah.....not exactly wanting to write this post today.  BUT transparency and accountability need to go hand in hand to do their work.  Right?

Today is a day that weighs heavy in more than one way.....a final meeting with the school, test results and recommendations, if any.   I have been wound so tight about this meeting for so long (since before Christmas) that I'm not sure I recall being unwound anymore.  What I desire to do this afternoon and what I need to do are very different things.

What I would love to do is march in there and tell them to keep their "findings" to themselves and any suggestions they have, they can shove.  My boy is fine, happy, content and doing very well in life.....in every one's eyes but their tiny little group.  He is not required to fit into their box.

What I know I need to do is pray all day that I will listen more than I speak, that I will be slow to anger, that I will understand what they say - especially since they choose to speak in a way that assumes I speak their teacher language - that I will not cry and be all emotional because yes - AGAIN - the meeting is right when my "femininity" chooses to arrive with bags of hormones. (Funny story - this meeting was first scheduled to happen nearly 2 weeks ago but within 48 hours of being scheduled it was changed...twice.  It's like they were trying to calculate my cycle - for maximum effect - and the original estimation was off....you did indeed calculate correctly the last time.  Thanks.  I mean what would a meeting be with me as a normal, not overly hormonal, person? We will never know....) I need to remember that while these meetings are so heavy, negative and draining to me as a mom......it doesn't mean that the outcome will be.

I've found comfort in that other mom's feel the same dread, weight and negativity attached to these meetings even when the anticipated outcome is positive.  Deconstructing your child in this way is just plain unpleasant.  Knowing others feel this same build up of yuck helps me to feel a little less "crazy mom".  

I feel as rainy and gross as the weather outside today.

5 bucks needs to go into the jar.....guess I need to make that jar now.  Awesome.

Blessings for the weight you carry to be lifted from your shoulders today,
the Mrs.

Gains and losses

There's a lot of reflecting in weight loss.  On food, what we did right and what we did wrong.  Exercise...the various options and what works for you, what makes you recoil and pretend you have no idea that it has a benefit.   Techniques, counting, posture, steps, combinations of foods, beverages, water, water, water....  What made us gain weight in the first place?  Laziness, stuffing emotions, trying to fill a hole, confusing spiritual hunger for physical hunger?   When was the last time I was at this new weight?  What was I doing at that time in my life and what did I think about how I weighed at that time?

In the last week or so I've been reflecting on that last one and how it affects me today.   I've noticed a pattern in my loss.  Each time I reach a weight that I can connect with a clear moment, memory, life event....I stumble.  I stop and seem to nestle into it.  I gain.  I can't seem to figure out why though.   Is there something I need to address in that memory?   Something I need to come to terms with?  

I honestly don't know.....but those markers are a danger to my loss.....to my motivation.   I'm in that rut right now.   I had hit my weight watchers low of 165.4.....memory attachment.....I reached this weight after Mr and I went on the Atkins diet.  I was pregnant not long after.  It was a fun time in life....besides all the fear that I wouldn't be able to conceive.    Obviously I did.

Maybe it's simply the mental hurdle of then I couldn't believe that I was that heavy and I was disgusted with myself and now I can't believe I've come this far and I'm actually seeing a number that low.   What was high has now become low.  Maybe it's just the collision of two vastly different emotions over the exact same thing?

Whatever it is, the simple awareness of this pattern needs to be put to use.  I need to address each of those landmark numbers equipped to push through, find ways to refresh my motivation in those times.  I have a goal to make....it might not be a date at this point but it is a date with a number.   I know, I know, "it's not about a number, it's about being healthy" but lets be honest......healthy is sometimes represented by a number.  That's what represents healthy to me.

I wonder if it's very common for those landmark numbers to trip others up - I don't mean a plateau but more that mental rut.

I'm here now....I recognize the pattern.....and now it's time to get out of the rut, reignite the motivation and move forward again.  I have gained 4.4lbs in this rut.   Time to kick them back out and push for the 50's, I want that half way mark!  I want to kick 30lbs in the butt and leave it in the dust!

Blessings for a motivational kick in the rear!
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 20 - fresh start full of opportunity

+1   ridiculous.  

Mr's personal challenge has become a family challenge....at least for 3 of us.  The Dude has the same shape I do, chicken legs with a round belly over top.  He is very into doing things "as a family", that's his phrase.  So we've all discussed it and all three of us will participate.  I've done some "ideal weight" research for his age/height/gender and he only has about 13lbs to lose to hit his range.  

The goal will be 5lb increments to hit a reward.  $30 or 1 item - whichever is more - and we shop as a family for said reward to celebrate.  The dude will be the only one who can bank his reward to double it at the next 5lbs (there are some spendy Lego sets he has his eye on!).

This is going to be good on so many levels!  We will be working as a team and teaching our son about nutrition as we go, finding ways to work out together and defining what true health is BEFORE he hits middle school.  I think our language and dieting model has been good, he seems to have a good image of what foods are "healthy" but this will be a whole new interactive level of learning.   I'm excited for this.  Not just on a "weight"/body image level but the opportunities for conversation and bonding as a family before that season in life where kids start to pull away and feel that they can't talk to their parents.   

What a blessing this will be!

We haven't set out time frames or anything but Mr and I will have our goals and Dude will have his, not competing with each other but cheering each other on and encouraging good habits!

It's a good Monday people....even with an extra pound.......I think it's all St Patty's cream puffs by the way...I made them gluten free and they were heaven.....all 800 of them....   Okay maybe not 800 but it sure was close! :)

Blessings to you for setting and achieving your goals!

the Mrs.

Spring break and manly motivation

Spring break has been fabulous!  Mr took 3 days off this week so for 5 days we were a family of four.   I LOVE that.   We have laughed, shopped, watched movies, took down outdoor lights, tried to convince each other who should do the spring poo clean up, went to an art museum (with boyfriend in tow) and had a St Patty's day family gathering with friends which included a water fight - in MARCH.  That was crazy.

The Mr and I were back to making fat jokes and complaining about clothes.  We have both done horribly in the last several weeks.  Today he decided he needed a challenge....a motivation.   He is a golf NUT.  I mean he is crazy for it like a PMSing woman loves chocolate.  Yes, that's a lot.  So he was watching golf today after church and started lusting after the cool golf polo's.  Its funny what gets him excited....he is so laid back it's hard to get real excitement out of him but Golf does with ease.

There in lies the motivation for the challenge.....for every 5lbs he loses his reward is $30 to spend on golf clothes.  I tried to get excited about this.  I really did.  So we discussed reality, budget etc and I gave a wifely "whatever".  Then somehow he decided (guilty conscience?) that I should have the same offer but altered because I cannot possibly lose as fast as he does.  So he said $30 for every 3lbs.  "Think about it."

Official weigh in to start would be tomorrow.   Hmm......I've been telling myself that I do not want any reward until I can remove the 5lbs I put on over the last month or so that I've been struggling.  I certainly NEED the summer clothes.....and the motivation would be good....

Hmmm.....its the details I'm pondering.   3lbs seems awfully small to offer a reward for.....or is that the point?

I don't know what to do.

Any ideas?

Blessings of sunny spring time joy and energy to you, 

the Mrs.

weigh in monday 19 - grr arg

+.6   ugh.

We had a big dinner party on Saturday night.  There is a local brewery that Mr loves and he posed a challenge to others in love with this brew to attempt cooking anything they could come up with that was infused with any flavor of this beer.   And the people cheered.

For only 8 people - there was enough to feed an army!  Now granted I was responsible for nonalcoholic food, basically things that I could eat.   But baking does not equal weight loss.   I DID get on the treadmill almost every day though, so that is a step in the right direction.   But I can safely say that I did not drink anywhere near enough water the 2nd  half of the week.  Lots of mistakes were made.

I can safely say that I am way too easily influenced by my surroundings.  I am disappointed that I lost momentum somewhere along the line.....I had set expectations for myself that I would be WAY farther along by now.   I mean technically I should be leaping for joy, struggling for the finish line that was set to be ONE MONTH AWAY.  I'm not yet even to the halfway mark.  STILL.  I don't think that I set my expectations too high.....I think it was realistic.

Over the last few days as I've realized all this....I've been trying to contemplate what the deal is.  It's not the first time I've hit a certain spot and just settled into it.  An illness or reaction setting me back a bit is valid....but not for this long.  What I recognized was that each time I hit a familiar weight marker - a size/number that I clearly remember being at in the past - I seem to get stuck there for a while.   Not because I plateau in a physical way but something mental must happen.   I don't have it figured out but apparently for me, contentment along the way to my destination is a dangerous thing.

When I look in the mirror now, I don't see the absence of 25 lbs or any sort of WOW.  I have sat at this place long enough that my mind now just sees where I'm at and that it's still not where I want to be.  I no longer like the way my clothes fit and my hate for this jelly belly is steadily growing.   All things can be used for good though......

This needs to be used to fuel motivation.  Self discipline isn't my forte.   But we fall down so we can learn to get back up again, right Alfred? (Yes, that was a Batman reference)

It's spring break here this week. I have both kids home and my Mr has taken the last part of the week off so we can do something fun together.   Ahh.....timing.....you are soooo awesome.   Yep, this provides lots of challenges and temptations.   ....so do the leftover raspberry lemonade bars, the coconut banana nut bread and the container of ice cream for homemade shamrock shakes.....    DANGER Will Robinson! Danger!

Thankfully I do have lots of fruit and veg in the house....I just need to eat that instead! .....and stop eating the yummy sharp cheddar.....

What are you fighting this week to stay motivated and on track?  Do you have a game plan?

Ready? BREAK!  Lets go!

Blessings to you for motivation, the ability to say no and a desire to MOVE! :)
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 18 - inching forward

A whopping -.2 today but it's in the right direction.  I am grateful for forward momentum, however small it may be.  I feel like the pain is under as much control as it needs to be for me to get moving again.   My left shoulder is still in that "move me the wrong way and it's gonna hurt" groove but for the most part it feels fine.   So I now feel like I can put effort into moving again.

Everything is an opportunity right?  So here is my opportunity to start afresh - again - and move forward.  No looking back.   That is something that the Lord seems to remind me of so often and has really been using this weight loss journey to firmly implant this lesson.   Move forward.   Eyes on Him.   Looking back should only be to reflect and learn how to move forward more effectively....not to brood on past mistakes or pains.

The reduced movement allowed my mind too much time to roam.   This too is a good lesson.   Activity is good for the mind as well as the body.  I don't ordinarily turn on the TV during the day but Netflix called my name more times than I care to fully calculate.   My body did get it's rest but my mind didn't really need so much.

Back on the wagon again.  I managed 2 hours on the treadmill last night and it felt good to be back on that routine.  I'm off to the races.....which would be my lists for all things needing attention this week that didn't get it last week.  

Blessings on your week for fresh starts and forward momentum,
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 17- I'll take what I can get

A -.4 isn't much but it's better than nothing!  Way better than a +, so I'll take it and be happy about it.

Moving back up the scale, when I was so close to the halfway mark I could taste it, is not fun.  Like anything though it is an opportunity for reflection.  Seeking out what was in my control and what wasn't.   What could I have done differently?  

If pain is making working out more difficult then I need to carefully monitor food, points, calories...whatever it takes.  Monitoring food seems like a full time job in and of itself.  Food is no longer fun.....I'm not saying that I never enjoy it or that what and how I eat is boring, bland or gross but the amount of work and thought that goes into it daily kinda sucks the fun out of "entertainment eating".  The "ooh lets go out" excitement is gone.  I eat nicer things at home than when I go out.  

Hmm....I don't like the negativity here.   Yes, it's real. Real is not always positive.  BUT the bigger reality is that there is always a choice in how we approach or perceive our circumstances.  My choice should be to seek out the blessing because that is just as real as any negative aspect BUT it is worth so much more.  

Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.  

~Prov. 15:17

It's kind of a Daniel diet....I guess.  (Dan. 1:8-16) Daniel was better for it.  Stronger, healthier....this is blessing.  To eat only what the Lord made......how can that not be good!   

I'm not setting much in the way of a goal for myself right now.  I don't quite have this pain figured out.  It's better, not quite as bad as last week but muscles are still pressure sensitive and joints are still sore.  Again, not as bad though.  So my only goal is to seek Him.  He knows whats going on and why and I'll rest in that.

Blessings to you this week for peace, joy and a positive perspective in whatever circumstance you find yourself, 

the Mrs.

weigh in Monday 16 - just swell

I'm not headed in the right direction.  A gain of 2 this week is not encouraging.

There are some mystery issues happening though and one of them is swelling...this may be playing a part.  For the last month I've woken up with swollen hands.  They've woken me up during the night aching and gradually I've ended up where I am right now which is swollen and having pain in both arms.  Initially I thought perhaps I'd consumed something or done a bit too much boxing and that was causing the hand issue.  But now I'm struggling shoulder to fingertips so that means something is being eaten.  ANY thing that could cause pain, also causes bloating and weight gain for me.

Ordinarily I would put in a good 2 hours on the treadmill on Sunday night while Mr plays volleyball, instead I opted for a movie under the covers of a warm, heated bed (oh how I love a heated mattress pad!).

So this week I'm going to eliminate anything with vinegar.  It's on my list of no, no's but in small doses only causes a bit of gut trouble.  So I made myself a list of vinegar containing things I may not eat this week: Ketchup, mustard, salsa (NOOOOO, this has become a daily staple to flavor wraps, sandwiches and replaced salad dressing), mayo, pickles, guac singles and BBQ sauce (not that I eat bbq often now that I'm not eating meat but it is good to dip some cheeses in).   I'll watch my salt intake as well, just in case.

Hopefully the vinegar is the issue.....well, I don't actually "hope", I did just buy a bunch of salsa for the pantry but at the very least I can make my own in the future and add some plants to my garden list.   This week my focus needs to be drinking LOTS of detox water, green tea and sweating on the treadmill as much as I can to get whatever is in my system, OUT.   By the end of the week I hope to be able to pull the cheese drawer open with my left arm without gasping from the pain.

Ceaseless moments
Such is life!  These are merely the details.  It does provide a topic of conversation between He and I and this morning I did have to apologize for a pain inspired inappropriate word uttered in the silence of my own mind....He does hear and see all.   I find the weekends hardest to hold His presence firmly in my mind.  More people, noise, things to do and distract the mind.   I am a weak minded person to begin with - meaning that maintaining focus on any one thing is a struggle for me - when I am having a reaction of some sort a mental component always comes with.  A slowing down and drowsiness that creeps in so slowly that I don't notice my mind isn't as sharp.   Yesterday morning in church, just before service, it got my full attention.  A friend sat behind me and asked how the week was, I so struggled to find words that her initial response was to think the week had been bad.  Honestly I just couldn't find words and was a bit confused for a moment.  Pain struck during service and raising my hands in praise was not part of worship, holding my pen to take notes wasn't really worth the discomfort. But He and I had our words and the songs were lyrically focused to Him instead of about Him.  I appreciate these songs more in worship.

Blessings are only shallowly hidden. My mind is mushy from whatever it is, the pain becomes a blessing.....like a light guiding you through dense fog, twinges of pain clear the mind for a moment, getting my attention and helping me to focus in again....on Him, not the pain.   While I cannot report success for long periods of time yet, I can say that the frequency of my attention is increasing.  This is good.

Blessings to you for an uncovering of their abundance in your life,
the Mrs.