Opportunities knock.
To be in a unique place, time or relationship.
The most unexpected of blessings. You weren't looking for it, asking for it or even thinking about it....and then there it is. Out of nowhere, you are over the moon crazy about it. You are willing to fight and sacrifice all while being totally baffled at how instant it was. It changes you....how you see the world.
A random encounter last May at a wedding brought something completely off my radar and put it right in my face. It was a God moment....one of those instances where He grips your heart and you cannot even conceive of not acting on the request. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed that I'd be in the place I am right now.
Its a girl.
We have adopted her right into our hearts and love her like crazy.
Okay she isn't a girl. She's a full grown woman. A beautiful, 27 year old, blue eyed, sassy creation that loves the Lord and people in a way I've never encountered and she blows my mind every time she talks.
We adopted a missionary.
I didn't realize it all those months ago. It's a small thing to do, I thought. We agreed to be a regular supporter while she was in New Zealand for her second season, this time in leadership. Working through YWAM first in a school setting then co-leading a group out into the mission field.
"Missionary." It always had this untouchable, strange, Mother Theresa vibe about it.....people who dressed funny and went out into the jungle and tried to bring Jesus to people who probably couldn't understand them. It was a totally foreign, alien concept. Probably because I really didn't think about it much....didn't really make time to even listen.
Now, my eyes are opened and I'm learning. The phrase "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime." It just keeps coming to me. She is raising up missionaries in a missionary school....in my ignorant nutshell of a description. How beautiful is that? One pebble tossed into the lake creates ripples but toss a handful of pebbles in and watch how far those ripples reach.
I never expected how profoundly it would effect me....us. How it would expand our view of love... How God's power would be on display. How deeply touched my heart would be or how many tears I'd shed for this....near stranger that was becoming like a child to me. Birthed into my heart. How much God would expand my understanding of how He works.....across space and time and that He would choose me...me to speak comfort and love to someone on the other side of the world. Something I thought was so small....was revealed to be much bigger than I ever anticipated.
It's been humbling, confusing and amazing all at once.
She's being called to go again. This time she has a mere 6 weeks to raise the funds for a full year. There's a travel visa to purchase, plane ticket, a new backpack to live out of on outreach....supplies I had no idea were needed.
I want to introduce you to her.
Our little missionary child....Mandi.
Prayerfully consider if the Lord may want you to help support her too. I could not be more proud of her, who she is, her heart for the Lord or the way she loves people with every cell in her being.
This is a young woman who will change nations, one heart at a time.
Blessings to you of abundance, grace and a cup that overflows.
the Mrs.
Showing posts with label milestones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label milestones. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Out of the muck.
Analysis paralysis.
A good friend asked the Facebook world if they have those moments when everything gets so overwhelming that you just freeze because you have no idea where to start. One of the comments named the moment: Analysis paralysis. Quite clever, accurate really.
The timing was interesting as just the day before I was having one of those days. The world felt heavy. I was in my head, trying to keep a million plates spinning. This typically results in an outward display of nothingness....as all my hard work is in my head and my body just can't follow that act.
I've experienced this a million times and typically the result has been me wallowing in the muck. My nature is to nurture and sometimes I can get a little lost in the needs of those around me. Wallowing in the muck only produces more muck in my attitude. I would go to this place of self pity. A "Where am I in all this? Look at all the good that I do! What about ME!" place. Its ugly and worldly. A "lookit me" display of epic proportions, danced out in my head with interpretive ribbon dances and wildly cheering fans (generally they are all me as well). Interpretive dance....frankly, it makes me laugh inappropriately. It's ridiculous. Somehow, the Lord gets in there and grabs my face, pulling my attention away from myself just long enough that I can snap out of the prideful haze I've created.
This time, I changed the game. This time I chose to look at it from another angle. This time I felt myself slipping into the muck and said No. Not this time. Instead I took time to stop and feel overwhelmed and then ask myself why, what was so big? I started to talk with the Lord about what I was feeling and the extensive list in my head.......some were tasks, some were people in general that were weighing on my heart, some were upcoming events and things needed to plan for, frustration at playing calendar cop and getting nowhere, Christmas shopping, people asking for help or guidance, people placed on my heart to intercede for, Mr studying like crazy for the next test and then leaving for a week of training, gifts to make, regular household duties and cooking.....there was sooo much going on in my head!
First, I needed it out of my head. I pulled out a notebook and laid it on my desk with a pen. At the top I wrote "Write it down - THEN sort it out". I moved though the next few hours of general tasks just thinking, talking with the Lord about everything and as something was brought to mind, on the list it went. Slowly the overwhelming feeling started to release. As it did, I started to become aware that I was overwhelmed because I was trying to be in charge of it all. I was trying to keep all the plates spinning by myself. Instead.....I should have taken the plates down and put them in His hands to hold....the only safe, unbreakable place.
My perspective started to shift. Instead of feeling overwhelmed I started to feel incredibly blessed.....overwhelmingly blessed. Instead of feeling self important, I felt humble.....how blessed am I that people trust me with their heart, count on me for guidance, stability and support? People have confidence in me and feel safe to be vulnerable with me, trusting that I will comfort them and remind them of His Truth in their life. ......suddenly, instead of feeling prideful and puffed up......I became keenly aware of how utterly insufficient I am apart from Him. There is nothing I can do for any of them without Him. A whole new kind of "overwhelmed" came over me. Suddenly, it all looked different.
It was still a full page of "stuff" to figure out. There are still a lot of tasks to try and manage. The "stuff" didn't change, but how I see it did. Did the heaviness disappear instantly? No. It got a lot lighter and still is.....but that's because I'm still loosening my grip on it. Still translating inside what I'm trying to keep control of, what my job actually is.
Reminding myself that its not about me. Even when I want it to be. I'm just a tool. Time to clear the muck out of the conduit, ensure the lines are clear so there's no more interference.
A good friend asked the Facebook world if they have those moments when everything gets so overwhelming that you just freeze because you have no idea where to start. One of the comments named the moment: Analysis paralysis. Quite clever, accurate really.
The timing was interesting as just the day before I was having one of those days. The world felt heavy. I was in my head, trying to keep a million plates spinning. This typically results in an outward display of nothingness....as all my hard work is in my head and my body just can't follow that act.
I've experienced this a million times and typically the result has been me wallowing in the muck. My nature is to nurture and sometimes I can get a little lost in the needs of those around me. Wallowing in the muck only produces more muck in my attitude. I would go to this place of self pity. A "Where am I in all this? Look at all the good that I do! What about ME!" place. Its ugly and worldly. A "lookit me" display of epic proportions, danced out in my head with interpretive ribbon dances and wildly cheering fans (generally they are all me as well). Interpretive dance....frankly, it makes me laugh inappropriately. It's ridiculous. Somehow, the Lord gets in there and grabs my face, pulling my attention away from myself just long enough that I can snap out of the prideful haze I've created.
This time, I changed the game. This time I chose to look at it from another angle. This time I felt myself slipping into the muck and said No. Not this time. Instead I took time to stop and feel overwhelmed and then ask myself why, what was so big? I started to talk with the Lord about what I was feeling and the extensive list in my head.......some were tasks, some were people in general that were weighing on my heart, some were upcoming events and things needed to plan for, frustration at playing calendar cop and getting nowhere, Christmas shopping, people asking for help or guidance, people placed on my heart to intercede for, Mr studying like crazy for the next test and then leaving for a week of training, gifts to make, regular household duties and cooking.....there was sooo much going on in my head!
First, I needed it out of my head. I pulled out a notebook and laid it on my desk with a pen. At the top I wrote "Write it down - THEN sort it out". I moved though the next few hours of general tasks just thinking, talking with the Lord about everything and as something was brought to mind, on the list it went. Slowly the overwhelming feeling started to release. As it did, I started to become aware that I was overwhelmed because I was trying to be in charge of it all. I was trying to keep all the plates spinning by myself. Instead.....I should have taken the plates down and put them in His hands to hold....the only safe, unbreakable place.
My perspective started to shift. Instead of feeling overwhelmed I started to feel incredibly blessed.....overwhelmingly blessed. Instead of feeling self important, I felt humble.....how blessed am I that people trust me with their heart, count on me for guidance, stability and support? People have confidence in me and feel safe to be vulnerable with me, trusting that I will comfort them and remind them of His Truth in their life. ......suddenly, instead of feeling prideful and puffed up......I became keenly aware of how utterly insufficient I am apart from Him. There is nothing I can do for any of them without Him. A whole new kind of "overwhelmed" came over me. Suddenly, it all looked different.
It was still a full page of "stuff" to figure out. There are still a lot of tasks to try and manage. The "stuff" didn't change, but how I see it did. Did the heaviness disappear instantly? No. It got a lot lighter and still is.....but that's because I'm still loosening my grip on it. Still translating inside what I'm trying to keep control of, what my job actually is.
Reminding myself that its not about me. Even when I want it to be. I'm just a tool. Time to clear the muck out of the conduit, ensure the lines are clear so there's no more interference.
"Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." ~ John 14:27
Blessings for clear lines, clear perspective and only blessings that are overwhelming.
the Mrs.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Mark me tardy...
...or maybe absent is more like it. My mind has been focused on all the stations of transition in our lives right now. Lots of changes, some big and some small but all are important.
The biggest transition....the biggest change....is that my husband is changing careers. Not just his job. This has been a dream of his for nearly a decade. The Lord orchestrated this timing perfectly and all the doors were flung open for him and the support that rallied around him was so encouraging. This will be a very felt transition for the whole family. He won't be just changing buildings or offices. He will have 4 months of intense study and training - right here in our basement, taking all the classes and tests on-line through the company. It means creating a working, functioning office space for him. It means a diminished income (but we've been planning and saving for this possible opportunity for many years and have a plan), tightening the belts and making choices more thoughtfully. It means he will be home, the commute from home to work will be mere seconds. It means lunches and hugs and learning to respect each others work and work space while sharing it. It means new schedules and volume levels. It means a lot of unknowns and that our attitudes will need to be chosen wisely. It means a big huge transition for him physically and mentally.
The school year means transitioning from seeing our daughter frequently, to very little. Its hard. Hard to have to miss out on the little things we will never get to be part of. Morning routines and kitchen door send offs. It means more phone calls and facebooking. Catching up on the details of her life after the fact.
The school year also means our Dude is in the middle of his own big transition. It's waking up earlier, riding a bus, learning to navigate the hallways and get to classes on time. Dealing with stubborn lockers and learning to play an instrument. Making friends and finding his place. Starting a new youth program and meeting new leaders and students.
For me it means supporting all these people I love so much. It means being aware of where we all are, what the needs are of our family and making sure that the tone set in our home is one that gives them comfort. Making sure that home is a place where they can decompress, relax, refresh and restore from all that stuff that goes on in their day. A place where they can feel free to talk it all through and know that there is someone who is going to listen, help them find a solution or just simply understand the frustration. A place full of hugs and sometimes cookies but always a place where they feel safe to be who they are and have a voice to say what it is they are feeling.
Gosh, even the house itself has gone through some big changes. Dude's room was redecorated. Living room got new furniture and everything was moved around. All the furniture moving changed out a couple of pieces in the dining area. The basement has had a huge face lift just from trading the furniture out and moving everything around. There was another great purge and a trailer load of stuff was brought to the dump. The garage got cleaned out and totally reorganized.
The Great Purge of 2012 seems to go so far beyond just the stuff we are getting rid of. Old selves are being cast off. Weight is being lost both physically and mentally. Attitudes are shifting and there is great growth happening. Its an interesting place in life. Only the Lord knows what else this season will bring.
Blessings of flexibility and patience to endure the shifting seasons with grace and wisdom,
the Mrs.
The biggest transition....the biggest change....is that my husband is changing careers. Not just his job. This has been a dream of his for nearly a decade. The Lord orchestrated this timing perfectly and all the doors were flung open for him and the support that rallied around him was so encouraging. This will be a very felt transition for the whole family. He won't be just changing buildings or offices. He will have 4 months of intense study and training - right here in our basement, taking all the classes and tests on-line through the company. It means creating a working, functioning office space for him. It means a diminished income (but we've been planning and saving for this possible opportunity for many years and have a plan), tightening the belts and making choices more thoughtfully. It means he will be home, the commute from home to work will be mere seconds. It means lunches and hugs and learning to respect each others work and work space while sharing it. It means new schedules and volume levels. It means a lot of unknowns and that our attitudes will need to be chosen wisely. It means a big huge transition for him physically and mentally.
The school year means transitioning from seeing our daughter frequently, to very little. Its hard. Hard to have to miss out on the little things we will never get to be part of. Morning routines and kitchen door send offs. It means more phone calls and facebooking. Catching up on the details of her life after the fact.
The school year also means our Dude is in the middle of his own big transition. It's waking up earlier, riding a bus, learning to navigate the hallways and get to classes on time. Dealing with stubborn lockers and learning to play an instrument. Making friends and finding his place. Starting a new youth program and meeting new leaders and students.
For me it means supporting all these people I love so much. It means being aware of where we all are, what the needs are of our family and making sure that the tone set in our home is one that gives them comfort. Making sure that home is a place where they can decompress, relax, refresh and restore from all that stuff that goes on in their day. A place where they can feel free to talk it all through and know that there is someone who is going to listen, help them find a solution or just simply understand the frustration. A place full of hugs and sometimes cookies but always a place where they feel safe to be who they are and have a voice to say what it is they are feeling.
Gosh, even the house itself has gone through some big changes. Dude's room was redecorated. Living room got new furniture and everything was moved around. All the furniture moving changed out a couple of pieces in the dining area. The basement has had a huge face lift just from trading the furniture out and moving everything around. There was another great purge and a trailer load of stuff was brought to the dump. The garage got cleaned out and totally reorganized.
The Great Purge of 2012 seems to go so far beyond just the stuff we are getting rid of. Old selves are being cast off. Weight is being lost both physically and mentally. Attitudes are shifting and there is great growth happening. Its an interesting place in life. Only the Lord knows what else this season will bring.
Blessings of flexibility and patience to endure the shifting seasons with grace and wisdom,
the Mrs.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
the one with the 5 in the middle
I haven't wanted to totally jinx myself.
To say it out loud and claim it for fear it would become elusive again.
But I've seen it....that number with the mythical 5 in the middle.....and it didn't go anywhere.
one 5 nine
Its a 5. Not a 6. But a 5! That six got kicked in the arse and has made its way off to who cares where!
It was last week....Bon Jovi started to sing to me in my head about living on a prayer and being half way there. It was delightful.
I've since changed my weigh in methods. Numbers don't compute or stay well in my brain. My scale has memory functions and keeps track of my start weight, goal weight and 5 saved weigh ins at a time. It tells me how much I've lost total and how much I have left to lose. I was only saving my weight on Mondays and then periodically weighing in during the week to check in on how things were moving. The frustrating part would be the days that I would be down over 2lbs but at the end of the week the saved weight didn't show that highlight - or that after the good drop I'd gained back some. So, my new method: weigh in several times a week as I remember - but always on Mondays. When there is a good successful drop Save THAT one and track from that point to maintain motivation and drive - as well as the reward of success in hitting that save button on a good note! Those are the only numbers that get saved though. Only the good ones. So if I start to slip up....the scale feedback builds. Instead of a +.2 one week and then next being a +.1.2 I'll get the total of +1.4 so my brain will SEE that it's not JUST a small gain this week but SEE the accumulation of how far from that success point I am getting. To me that is more motivating - to be able to hit the save button again! :)
Oh 5, you are ever so lovely.
Added bonus.....I gave my daughter 3 pairs of my jeans. They required a belt and were saggy and baggy...totally unflattering and I wasn't going to wear them anymore. She's been waiting for that moment. She's already worn all three pairs. They look better on her anyway. She's 8 inches taller than I and they hit all the right places on her slender but curvy teen bod. I'm still pretty boxy in the middle. I think I accidentally got a mans rib cage, for a short chick I've always had this broad ribcage. Granted it does wonders for the 'girls' but really.....they don't need assistance the way they did in high school. Once school starts the Mr and I will be having a little shopping day of our own. I only have 3 pair of pants now....in total. Oh darn! :)
Blessings of your own kind of fabulous 5's in your life,
the Mrs.
To say it out loud and claim it for fear it would become elusive again.
But I've seen it....that number with the mythical 5 in the middle.....and it didn't go anywhere.
one 5 nine
Its a 5. Not a 6. But a 5! That six got kicked in the arse and has made its way off to who cares where!
It was last week....Bon Jovi started to sing to me in my head about living on a prayer and being half way there. It was delightful.
I've since changed my weigh in methods. Numbers don't compute or stay well in my brain. My scale has memory functions and keeps track of my start weight, goal weight and 5 saved weigh ins at a time. It tells me how much I've lost total and how much I have left to lose. I was only saving my weight on Mondays and then periodically weighing in during the week to check in on how things were moving. The frustrating part would be the days that I would be down over 2lbs but at the end of the week the saved weight didn't show that highlight - or that after the good drop I'd gained back some. So, my new method: weigh in several times a week as I remember - but always on Mondays. When there is a good successful drop Save THAT one and track from that point to maintain motivation and drive - as well as the reward of success in hitting that save button on a good note! Those are the only numbers that get saved though. Only the good ones. So if I start to slip up....the scale feedback builds. Instead of a +.2 one week and then next being a +.1.2 I'll get the total of +1.4 so my brain will SEE that it's not JUST a small gain this week but SEE the accumulation of how far from that success point I am getting. To me that is more motivating - to be able to hit the save button again! :)
Oh 5, you are ever so lovely.
Added bonus.....I gave my daughter 3 pairs of my jeans. They required a belt and were saggy and baggy...totally unflattering and I wasn't going to wear them anymore. She's been waiting for that moment. She's already worn all three pairs. They look better on her anyway. She's 8 inches taller than I and they hit all the right places on her slender but curvy teen bod. I'm still pretty boxy in the middle. I think I accidentally got a mans rib cage, for a short chick I've always had this broad ribcage. Granted it does wonders for the 'girls' but really.....they don't need assistance the way they did in high school. Once school starts the Mr and I will be having a little shopping day of our own. I only have 3 pair of pants now....in total. Oh darn! :)
Blessings of your own kind of fabulous 5's in your life,
the Mrs.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
a new era welcomed
The winds of change are coming. I can feel them. Transition into a new season for our family.
No more elementary school. No more need for babysitters. The boy has a J O B for goodness sake!
Wonderteen will be a Junior. 11th grade. Amazing to think my tiny little pumpkin head has grown into such an amazing and beautiful young woman.
Mr and I are entering into a new era. Older kids. More freedom to be spontaneously social and building a new core of relationships. Our marriage continually growing stronger....and in a way makes me laugh at how we've grown into this beautiful relationship that also mimics the intensity of young love. We often tease our daughter and her boyfriend about that high school love where things are so intense you immediately miss each other when out of sight. Time apart can be crushing. Oh the days of young overwhelming love! ...and we discuss on a fairly regular basis how wonderful retirement will be when we can be together all the time or his regular comment that if only we could win the lottery so he could be home with me everyday. The million times we say I love you, sometimes less than 5 minutes apart...yes, that is our truth. We are silly, cavity inducing, head over heels crazy for each other. And we don't care how many times people tell us to get a room. Our affection is not hidden, nor excessive. We keep it G people....maybe PG sometimes. :)
In this new era the trappings of formal ministry obligations have been thrown off. The kind that tie you to a place, time and topic. Nothing wrong with them, I'm not being critical of formal ministry. As I've gotten older I have become more and more aware that I am personally in a constant state of ministry. Some refer to my maternal nature with those around me. It brings me to minister to whomever is in front of me at the time. It isn't conscious or premeditated.....it is simply how He has grown me, wired me. Formal ministry wears on me more quickly than I'd like to admit because of this. My ministry is my family, my home and whomever may be placed in my path. Facebook is so trivialized but I have spent more time ministering to people on there than you may believe. I minister via email and kitchen door. Yes, I have a young man who just shows up at my kitchen door, unannounced and just to talk. He is 20 years old now, he calls me mom and has been showing up for several years.
Perhaps is the natural growth of being in the second half of my 30's. Or maybe it's that I'm in a season in life more typical for one in their 40's. Maybe it's my confidence coming forward with over 30lbs shed. Either way I feel a new settling in myself. A disinterest to please simply for the sake of keeping others happy or not tarnishing someones view of me. Who they think I am does not make me who I am....anymore. Its a lovely freedom.
I will probably always be a one track person. Whatever current focus will probably always be THE big deal until it isn't anymore.
I am not a crafty person. I won't pick up scrap booking or stamping. I am capable of crafts but that does not make me crafty.
My kids school work will still be mostly thrown in the trash. Because who really looks at their spelling tests from 4th grade? This isn't a treasure to me. Exceptional works of art from them, yes. Essays that depict who they are or their unique point of view at the time, those are things I will keep for them. The funny, the deep, the personal, the beautiful. Perhaps that's cold. Though I take great pride in watching my 11 year old purge objects more efficiently than any adult I know because he doesn't form deep emotional connections to objects. He loves people and that is where love should go.
I'll always have a horribly immature sense of humor. And that is okay.
I'll always be strong and stable.
I'll always have a heart that breaks easily.
I'll always be a homebody who loves, loves, loves solitude and quiet.
I'll always be passionate about the truth but frustratingly calm and non-argumentative.
I will always care about doing what is right more than what is popular.
I will always be trying to grow and improve and learn about something.
There is unknown on the horizon but it's not scary. The Lord always has a plan and it is always amazing. The only plan I have is to try and walk through it with as much joy and grace as I can, no matter how things feel. Feelings are deceiving and often not rooted in truth. A fact that is hard to remember when we are in the middle of them but it is something good to remember.
It's been a good couple weeks here. Lots of fun, lots of crazy and lots of me remembering how every summer I think I'm going to accomplish SO much and never do because I simply can't get it done while my kids are home. They want attention and talk time or maybe just hanging out not talking time. If that is what they need then that is what I try to give them, with measures of work in between. The school year is my most productive home keeping season. This year I hate to say even the garden has not been tended to the way it deserves. It has been a disgustingly hot and humid summer though.....I have not wanted to even venture out there.
Time to get some work done. This is the last week of summer school and Wonderteen is off on a trip with her mom and girl scout troop this week. My last week of any alone time. I want to make the most of it!
Blessings of peace and calm to welcome whatever new era comes to greet you.
the Mrs.
No more elementary school. No more need for babysitters. The boy has a J O B for goodness sake!
Wonderteen will be a Junior. 11th grade. Amazing to think my tiny little pumpkin head has grown into such an amazing and beautiful young woman.
Mr and I are entering into a new era. Older kids. More freedom to be spontaneously social and building a new core of relationships. Our marriage continually growing stronger....and in a way makes me laugh at how we've grown into this beautiful relationship that also mimics the intensity of young love. We often tease our daughter and her boyfriend about that high school love where things are so intense you immediately miss each other when out of sight. Time apart can be crushing. Oh the days of young overwhelming love! ...and we discuss on a fairly regular basis how wonderful retirement will be when we can be together all the time or his regular comment that if only we could win the lottery so he could be home with me everyday. The million times we say I love you, sometimes less than 5 minutes apart...yes, that is our truth. We are silly, cavity inducing, head over heels crazy for each other. And we don't care how many times people tell us to get a room. Our affection is not hidden, nor excessive. We keep it G people....maybe PG sometimes. :)
In this new era the trappings of formal ministry obligations have been thrown off. The kind that tie you to a place, time and topic. Nothing wrong with them, I'm not being critical of formal ministry. As I've gotten older I have become more and more aware that I am personally in a constant state of ministry. Some refer to my maternal nature with those around me. It brings me to minister to whomever is in front of me at the time. It isn't conscious or premeditated.....it is simply how He has grown me, wired me. Formal ministry wears on me more quickly than I'd like to admit because of this. My ministry is my family, my home and whomever may be placed in my path. Facebook is so trivialized but I have spent more time ministering to people on there than you may believe. I minister via email and kitchen door. Yes, I have a young man who just shows up at my kitchen door, unannounced and just to talk. He is 20 years old now, he calls me mom and has been showing up for several years.
Perhaps is the natural growth of being in the second half of my 30's. Or maybe it's that I'm in a season in life more typical for one in their 40's. Maybe it's my confidence coming forward with over 30lbs shed. Either way I feel a new settling in myself. A disinterest to please simply for the sake of keeping others happy or not tarnishing someones view of me. Who they think I am does not make me who I am....anymore. Its a lovely freedom.
I will probably always be a one track person. Whatever current focus will probably always be THE big deal until it isn't anymore.
I am not a crafty person. I won't pick up scrap booking or stamping. I am capable of crafts but that does not make me crafty.
My kids school work will still be mostly thrown in the trash. Because who really looks at their spelling tests from 4th grade? This isn't a treasure to me. Exceptional works of art from them, yes. Essays that depict who they are or their unique point of view at the time, those are things I will keep for them. The funny, the deep, the personal, the beautiful. Perhaps that's cold. Though I take great pride in watching my 11 year old purge objects more efficiently than any adult I know because he doesn't form deep emotional connections to objects. He loves people and that is where love should go.
I'll always have a horribly immature sense of humor. And that is okay.
I'll always be strong and stable.
I'll always have a heart that breaks easily.
I'll always be a homebody who loves, loves, loves solitude and quiet.
I'll always be passionate about the truth but frustratingly calm and non-argumentative.
I will always care about doing what is right more than what is popular.
I will always be trying to grow and improve and learn about something.
There is unknown on the horizon but it's not scary. The Lord always has a plan and it is always amazing. The only plan I have is to try and walk through it with as much joy and grace as I can, no matter how things feel. Feelings are deceiving and often not rooted in truth. A fact that is hard to remember when we are in the middle of them but it is something good to remember.
It's been a good couple weeks here. Lots of fun, lots of crazy and lots of me remembering how every summer I think I'm going to accomplish SO much and never do because I simply can't get it done while my kids are home. They want attention and talk time or maybe just hanging out not talking time. If that is what they need then that is what I try to give them, with measures of work in between. The school year is my most productive home keeping season. This year I hate to say even the garden has not been tended to the way it deserves. It has been a disgustingly hot and humid summer though.....I have not wanted to even venture out there.
Time to get some work done. This is the last week of summer school and Wonderteen is off on a trip with her mom and girl scout troop this week. My last week of any alone time. I want to make the most of it!
Blessings of peace and calm to welcome whatever new era comes to greet you.
the Mrs.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Best seat in the house.
We are merging into a whole new era in life. I could feel it coming but I didn't know it would be quite so quick. Our Wonderteen has been in her teen adventure for a while now, full of challenges and searching out her identity in life. She constantly impresses me and I love how our relationship is evolving as she grows and matures. The Dude though.....is morphing in the fastest most surprising way.
Today is "graduation" day.....from 5th grade.....essentially from elementary school. Next year is middle school. There is this whole other level of "graduating" happening underneath all of the obvious stuff. As the end of the year approaches its like he is transforming before our eyes.....from a little boy to a young man. There are lots of little things we are noticing that are totally surprising us that seem totally out of his norm - but in good ways. Here's the kicker though.....now that he is too old to be a participant in Sunday school at church, he wants to volunteer to help out with the younger kids and he asked if he could get a job at the farm behind our house.
The Dude is 11 years old. He wants a job. A real job. He wants to volunteer.
This graduation from 5th grade is morphing from some cheesy little graduation ceremony for the kids into something so much deeper....he's graduating from being a "little kid". End scene.
Enter....a young man. I'm not a mom who hates to see her kids grow up and wants them to stay little. I love it all. I love every year they get older. I love every new season in their lives and development into who they will become. It is one of the most exciting things I could be a part of as a human being, let alone as a mother. Now, with our second child....it's time to start walking next to him. Letting him take a bit of the lead, helping him detach the apron strings and gain his footing as he slowly merges into this new era in life. As parents it's time to start taking our hands off the wheel and letting him try steering a bit more. It's time to guide and counsel him through decisions as he starts to learn to make them on his own.
This young man is merging out of his norm, showing more grown up interests and being more adventurous. Whatever we expect him to do or say at this point needs to be thrown out the window.....it's time to watch and see. Its a front row seat to creation happening right here, right now, in all its mind-blowing amazingness.
Happy Graduation day Son. You impress me more than I have words to express. I have the best seat in the house for the best show on earth.
Blessings to you for an unobstructed view of the amazingness in your life.
the Mrs.
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