why do you do...that thing you do

Do you ever go back to basics and really contemplate, why?  We make such deliberate choices about our cars, daycare, schools, clothes, jobs, electronics.....but the stuff that actually sustains and feeds the necessary functioning of our body - the one thing on that list that can't be replaced - we are mindless about it.  We choose so much in life based on a basic code of who we want to be but often there is no code when it comes to food.  Food is reduced to the importance of taste, speed, cost and convenience.  Sure, we will justify having a $400 car payment but the price of an organic apple?  Craziness.  What do we value?  What is our priority?  Are we aware that we are putting tainted fuel into our bodies?  If it was our car that was getting cheap additives that shortened the life of it's engine....we would be calling for our money back and a recall of the bad quality product.  


Do we make decisions based on the opinions of others, which can be easily changed by their suggestions or do we make informed decisions and stand firm in them so that pressure and suggestion don't "toss us about like the waves of the sea"? (Eph.4:14)


What does "diet" mean to you?  Is it a short term goal or a way of life?


Diet: 

1. (Noun) The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.
2. (Verb)  Restrict oneself to small amounts or special kinds of food in order to lose weight: "it is difficult to diet in a house full of cupcakes."

In trying to be purposeful about not pushing my diet on anyone and not shouting to the hills or getting all crazy about it, I've been listening more.  It seems as if everyone is ON a diet (verb) instead of choosing a diet (noun).  

I'd like to settle into noun.  I'd like my "diet" to be stable, defined and comfortable - for me.  No more diets (verb) of temporary fluctuation, doing this "for now" with the intention of changing it all again later when I get to my goal.  I am making a conscious choice to be as intentional with my food as I am with other things in my life.  When I make big decisions I do my research, I see if it lines up with my moral compass, my philosophy and approach to life.  I shared not too long ago that I cancelled weight watchers, stopped measuring or counting.

My life choice is to eat a plant based diet. I will eat when I'm hungry, avoid animal products and oils will only be used sparingly during cooking.  Will this potentially slow down my weight loss?  Probably...but what is my main, "big picture" intention?  Health.  I feel amazing!  My body is getting smaller and feels more healthy.  I feel stronger and have more energy than I have in a decade or more.  My food choices no longer cause panic and the risk of reaction has dropped to nothing.  You can't change the ingredients in a tomato or lettuce!  If the weight slows down, I'm okay with that because slow is better than nothing.  There will be ups and downs sure but overall a bump in the road is nothing compared to the overall direction of how healthy I feel.  Over the course of my life I suspect that my weight will continue to drop slowly and eventually stabilize out to where I should be.  If I want to lose more, then I should move more.  

Plant Based, Atkins, eat for your blood type, Mediterranean, cabbage soup, calorie counting, low carb, high carb, low fat, high protein, Vegan, Vegetarian, Slim Fast, Slimgenics, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Med Fast......it's no wonder people are confused!  These are all labels, descriptors of how we choose what to eat and why....but I think we've stopped asking why and just said "okay, whatever you say."

None of them say the same thing!   There are so many labels and some are moderately defined or so individual they carry no meaning.  Others are programs based on restriction and other programs....well they kinda blow my mind. "Don't eat that banana but here, eat this packet of powder."  All in the name of weight loss....not health....but if we were eating REAL food in healthy portions we wouldn't need to lose weight in the first place.  There are redeeming qualities in a lot of programs but I'm coming to the conclusion that they all have the same flaw - they are temporary.

Yesterday our daughter (16) and I got into a conversation about food.....I don't remember what she asked but it started this conversation about diets, nutrition, the differences between vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian/plant based, protein needs and food in general.  I started to have trouble answering questions, I never want to answer questions incorrectly (and teens talk so darn fast!), so I suggested that she watch Forks Over Knives because it would answer more clearly some of what she was asking.  We would both have the same information and be able to have a conversation more easily about her questions.  I wasn't equipped with the clinical answers and didn't want her to get the idea that this was a "fad diet" but that there was a great deal of research done about it.  Regardless of what her opinion was at the end of the film, I was interested in what she thought.

So we watched it together and she asked lots of questions during the movie.  At the end she said "I think I want to be pescatarian.  I LOVE fish, I don't think I could give it up but the rest....I could do that."  She followed it up with making a bold statement on FB about adopting a whole foods, plant based diet and eating fish.  I expected interesting conversation but not that she would make this bold decision.  What and how I eat has been a topic of conversation for years...she always has good questions and is curious.  Last weekend it was about what vegan meant and was I a vegan.  

I explained that I wouldn't call myself a vegan.  The term is attached to a political/activist view point.  I don't approve of the mistreatment of animals but animal rights has nothing to do with why I don't eat them.  I don't care that they have a face or a mommy...some of the tastiest animals are pretty darn cute and I am not giving up my leather boots.  (Don't shoot me.) I don't eat them because I feel so much better NOT eating them.  Frankly I don't believe we were originally created to eat meat.  My base line for eating a plant based diet is health, original design and the reality that most of my life I haven't felt good in my own skin.  Some of that is weight, some of that is physical injury but most of that is illness.   I still have weight to lose to increase that comfort factor but what I started for vanity has merged into wellness and health for my body...and my mind (sure there is vanity tossed in there as well...lets be real).  I have made myself clear to her that this is HER decision, she will not receive any pressure or critique from me.  Help on the other hand is available in abundance - but she needs to ask, and I'll help equip her with recipes and knowledge to merge into this as easily as she can.  NO negativity or criticism about choosing to still eat fish.  Its her choice and as she learns she may change her mind, but its hers to change.  In the long term I think at the very least making a decision like this is a wonderful step of independence and will carry lots of lessons in making choices that aren't necessarily popular and how to stand your ground when others who don't understand your choices try to push you to conform to what they want for themselves.  She's growing into such an interesting, intelligent and amazing young woman.  I am so proud to be in her life!

Do you think about why you do the things you do?  Why you eat what you eat?  Do you care?

Blessings of firm ground to stand on and strength to stand against the crashing waves, 

the Mrs.

UPDATED: I have no idea what the highlighted wonky stuff is going on in the beginning of this post or how to fix it....so you have my apologies for the wonkadoodleness.

veggies made me do it

To some the changes I've made recently would seem extreme.  ....frankly in the past I considered something like this extreme or excessive.  I've struggled to wrap my head around someones choice to just be a vegetarian....let alone a vegan.

Why in the world would anyone CHOOSE to give up BACON???

Yet, here I am.  Eating plant strong and feeling the best I have in years.  The energy levels that I am feeling are seriously blowing my mind.  I (you may want to sit for this) got on the treadmill the other day just because I was feeling like I NEEDED to expend some energy!  .....aliens have not invaded my body.....I don't think...

My mind is so much clearer. I don't feel like I'm walking in a fog anymore.  I feel stronger and like I have a spark, my spunk is back!  I asked Mr if he'd noticed any differences and he said that he sees more energy and that I seem happier.  Happier?  Yes, that is one of the crazy things I've noticed....I wasn't UNhappy before.  I would say that in general I am a fairly happy and positive person but now?  Pollyanna ain't got nuthin on me!

I feel like I am actually getting to watch myself change in the mirror every day.  My face looks different.  My cheek bones are starting to be more defined, my jawline too and that second chin I thought would never ever make its way back to wherever it was from.....its disappearing.  Clothes fit differently.  Shorts that were tight not that long ago slide on easily now and with extra room in some places!  New clothes I bought only 2 weeks ago are now baggy!  I had to buy new undies too. The weight is coming off slowly, but the fat....the visible markers of weight.....are melting off.  I can see it in my hands, face, shoulders, legs....all over!  Yesterday my brother in law saw a new picture of me on facebook....."this may seem like a dumb question but is that you?"  I assured him that it was me and he proceeded to tell me how great I looked in the funniest best way possible that a younger brother in law can. It made my day!

I cancelled my weight watchers account.  Yep, I did.  I don't have any need to count or measure anything anymore.  $$$ saved.

If you've been reading here for long you know that my struggle with food has been exhausting and consuming.  My relationship with food has been more based on fear than nutrition.  When I talked about food my only perspective was to preach about its danger.....this didn't go over well in many ways....but it was authentic.  It was my truth and where I was standing, food had lost its goodness and was more of a cage for me.  It was about restriction.   

Not any more.

For the first time in several years I feel a freedom and enjoyment with food that goes beyond my kitchen.  Last night we planned to go out to dinner to celebrate the Dude graduating from elementary school. (no kids menu for him, thank you)  I checked out the menu ahead of time and decided I'd have a greek salad, no chicken, cheese or pita and a plain baked potato on the side.  NO ANXIETY.  No fear.  Hesitation and negativity were not my dinner companions.  There was no cloud of resentment or boredom hovering over me.  I didn't need to struggle to not make negative comments about being bored by the same old restaurant dinner.  I enjoyed it.  Even my very first baked potato without butter was good!   I felt full and satisfied at the end.  No mental cloud or wave of confusion, no bloating or intestinal discomfort.  I felt GOOD.  I enjoyed going out!  

This is one of those times where I feel so good I want to shout to the world that everyone should do this!  Everyone should eat this way!!  Like the euphoria of falling in love making you want to fix up everyone you know so they too can be THIS happy.  Yep, that's how amazing this is.  But I've learned from my past.  Preaching to people who haven't asked or expressed interest....doesn't get you anywhere.  Kinda works the same way with Jesus sadly.  Restraint is my companion now.  I have made choices that are working for me.  I have made choices that are enhancing my life and even my relationships....because my attitude is positive.  Preaching the poisons and sins of meat and processed foods will get you nowhere fast....and reduce your conversations quite a bit too.  Before - fear and restraint were heavy in my conversation.  Now, I am taking a new approach.  I am living.  I am living my choices, making them with joy and enjoyment and letting the world see the change in my body, my demeanor...me.   I am choosing to allow the world to ask instead of getting on a soapbox and pointing my finger at the offenders.  My job is to take care of MY body, not everyone else's.  The nurturer in me struggles with that.  Others in my life need to make their own food choices....even those closest to me....and I need to be able to respect them even if their nutritional choices concern or disgust me.  It's not going in my body, so I need to shut up and be an example instead of a downer.

In my heart I would love for everyone I know to try this for a week, 2 weeks or take the Engine 2 challenge. I would love for everyone I know to feel this good and see the benefits that I have.  Reality tells me that most will look at the choice I'm making and slap on the "vegan politics" and see "restriction" in neon flashing over my head.  I don't feel restricted though.  My craving for meat or dairy is totally gone.  Has it been tough to learn to do a few things differently?  Sure.  All new adventures have their challenges and puzzles to solve but among all the food based Rubik's cube puzzles I've had to solve, this one has been the easiest.  

Do I miss ice cream? Yep.  But I'll figure that one out in time.  For now I've figured out how to make amazing sherbet.  (I'll show you how soon!)  I have discovered the most amazing maple banana nut breakfast cookies and I am totally in love with them.  They are so fast and easy to make!  Double the recipe and freeze some.  When you are in a pinch and don't have time for a full meal - grab and go!  I've done it, it helps!  I'll show you those too!  Last night I had popcorn.  How?  I popped organic kernels in a paper bag in the microwave, drizzled a little walnut oil on and sprinkled with salt.  It was good enough (even though I did slightly burn it) that Mr stole more than a handful...or three.

I hope to start being able to show you more of how I'm doing this and that it isn't hard at all.  If you want me to address anything specific let me know.....though that would require someone to comment....ever....for this to not be just a one way conversation.  ehem.  Just sayin.

Blessings for a wonderful weekend to officially kick off summer!

the Mrs.

Whats cookin?

Cooking ahead has been one of my latest endeavors.  Make it easy to have as many ingredients at the tips of your fingers for the healthiest choices to happen....right?  It's always when we are hungry and our brains are all "ohhhh, I don't know.....YOU pick!" that things run a muck and what could have been a healthy meal becomes pastry or chocolate or whatever you might pull out of a box or bag that you didn't make yourself.

So I gave up meat a while ago right?  Started to feel even better.   ...funny how you don't realize that you can feel better until you do....  So then I watched all those food documentaries....Food Matters and Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. I also watched Engine 2 Kitchen Makeover recently and have been seeing stuff about this diet (in terms of nutrition lifestyle not "I'm going to do this for a few months to lose weight" diet) that this Texas firefighter has written about and researched in test groups.  Go figure that he's the son of the doctor who conducted the China Study mentioned in Forks Over Knives.  He and his family have been eating this way for years and he has lived and intimately known the benefits.  So he is sharing what he knows in very practical down to earth terms.

I feel like I kind of fell into it naturally.  Processed food has been out for quite some time. I took meat out a few months ago. Quit the coffee and gradually ended up reducing dairy to the point where I kinda don't need or miss it - except for those few drops in my black tea...mmmm.

So here I am, eating "plant strong" and feeling better than I realized that I didn't feel.  My energy has started to return and my mind seems clearer, sharper than it has in a long, long time.  I am so much more productive...its kinda crazy.  Though most of my productivity has been in the kitchen.  I don't quite have this cooking ahead thing down to a smooth science yet.....in terms of planning exactly what I'm going to make and thinking ahead about how much of it I'm going to make.  So I've spent about 3 days in the kitchen this week.  I'm trying to expand my cooking horizon.  Its really learning all over again.  It didn't take much thought to just throw things together before but now....for now....it takes time to really think about not only what to cook but how to cook it.  I'm the only one in the house that is skipping the animal products....so that means I need to make sure that the rest of the family has things that are appealing to them.  Dude hates beans....unless its a green one, his nose is turned up in the most disgusted manner at just the sight of them.  Mr has been fine but is oh so tired of the mexican themed food.   Generally that spice palate is incredibly easy to throw together and I love it.

I've been avoiding the whole label of "Vegan".  Cuz I'm not.  "Vegan" has this more political, environmentalist, fist shaking, yoga doing, save the animals and don't eat anything that casts a shadow, hippy vibe about it.....that it's way more than just about food nutrition.  I'm not a vegan, I just eat like one.  I love my leather boots and I love the leather jackets that I hope to fit back into by fall.  I believe that the cutest of farm animals are generally the tastiest and bacon is still meat candy and I'm sure I will forever call every pig I see, Bacon.   But my body functions better with a vegan diet.  My mind actually works better on a vegan diet...that in and of itself is the greatest blessing.  I still have pain issues and probably always will.  To think...clearly and freely is something that so many people take for granted.  While my brain will never return to the beauty it was at 15 before my car accident, it is a true source of joy to be aware enough, clear enough, to realize that I AM thinking more clearly and quickly.  What a gift the Lord has given us in FOOD!

Clean, God designed, natural food.  For that reason, I will promote eating this way.  Think of the canary that miners brought into the tunnels with them.  The bird was tiny and oh so sensitive to unclean air.  If that bird dropped over they knew they needed to get out of there.  Think of me as the canary in the tunnel of the food world.  Stick to the good stuff.

So what have I been making while spending all this time in the kitchen?

Grilling up tons of peppers and onions.

Peppers and onions have become a wonderful staple.  They grill up and keep so well.  I chop them a bit smaller and put them on rice, salads (who needs dressing with that kind of flavor?), wraps and sandwiches.  

Method: chop peppers and onions of choice (I used green bell and a combo of red and sweet yellow onion),  place a big sheet of heavy aluminum foil on the grill (enough to fold in half so its double layered), lightly spray with olive oil spray or your favorite spray oil to help with sticking, sprinkle with salt and pepper, garlic powder (crushed garlic tends to burn really easily).  If you want to add more zip, try chili powder, chipotle powder, oregano and squeeze a lime over the top near the end.  SO YUM.

Pico de Gallo

Fresh chopped tomatoes, green pepper, jalapeno, cilantro, onion, lemon/lime juice and a bit of salt. SO good!  Put that on salads, wraps and rice bowls.  So fresh, so good, we run out so quickly!

Veggie burgers.

Not something I thought I'd like but wanted to try.  I know that I can't eat the processed ones from the store so I found a recipe...where else but on Pinterest.  These are so easy and so good.  The original recipe calls for what else but chili powder and a mexican flavor.  The first time I made them I followed the directions.  The second time I changed the seasoning a bit and used, garlic, onion, thyme and parsley (all dried). It was wonderful!  Smelled like meatloaf even before I cooked them! YUM.

I have made Vegan Enchiladas with sweet potato and black beans that I am totally in love with. Sorry no pictures.  Make them, you too will fall in love.  I honestly have yet to make the avocado cream sauce simply because I can't get past the amazing filling to even think that it could get any better.  BUT here's a tip: inside your enchiladas, put a little brown rice, some of those grilled peppers and onions and the enchilada filling....and die happy....and healthy. :)

This week I made Banana Oatmeal Cookies to have for breakfast. My alteration was to use diced prunes instead of raisins and I added walnuts. Again, awesomeness. SO yummy and the crunch of the walnut is the perfect addition.  

Last week I even tried non-dairy frozen banana based ice cream.  It turned out wonderful and creamy.  I made strawberry.  I think this could be tweaked to suit your individual sweet tooth and the flavor changed in many ways.  

There are still SO many things to try!  Its all so exciting and a tad overwhelming at the same time but when you feel this good - and over 4lbs falls off without doing a dang thing to make it happen - it is amazingly worth it.  In time I know that I'll figure out a new rhythm and not have to spend so much time in the kitchen. Until then....I think I'll be there a lot.  I really need to find things that Mr will like and mix flavors up a bit for him.  As of now he's not joining me in this Engine 2, vegan, no animals in my food diet adventure BUT he has said "if you make it, I'll eat it".  He loved the enchiladas by the way.  Apparently he forgot there was no meat in them until I reminded him....they are that good.

Have a wonderfully long weekend and I'll keep you up to date on how this is going.  I can't believe there are only 2 weeks left of school....I'm not sure I'm prepared for summer yet!

Blessings for a luxuriously long recharging weekend, filled with memories and fun!

the Mrs.

Breaking up....it's not me, it's you...

Coffee.  I love it....hot or cold but doctored into creamy sweet submission.  It is a delight to the senses of sight, smell and taste.  I think I'd drink it all day if I could....and not get fat or incredibly jittery.

Yet, we've been "on a break".  Last week I altered my coffee consumption.  A cup one day, none the next.  Reason?  Attempting to see if my physical and mental function is affected by the delicious nectar.  Pain and discomfort has been loitering around more than usual.  My brain running at a slower pace and the afternoon crash has been hitting harder.  So I felt prompted to experiment....with a potential break up.  "Time apart to evaluate".

The conclusion?  Yeah.....coffee, while oh so smooth and suave, smelling wonderful and oh so sweet.....isn't good for me.  It doesn't enhance my thinking or even allow me to maintain the way I thought it did.   It slows me down, adds too many calories and pushes me into a foggy, but tasty, swirl of thought.

On the days we didn't speak but merely passed in the kitchen as it went out the door with my husband....I found I felt clearer, more steady and certainly more productive in my day.  On the days we started together, I was off track, unproductive, more distracted, oh so tired and all together not my best.

So last week was every other day.  This week, so far, only the sip needed to taste if Mr's cooler has been mixed right.  That's it.

Coffee.....I'm glad we can be civil but I'm breaking up with you......for your cousin, tea.  It's not me, it's you...perhaps it's in your processing or just in your nature.  You just aren't good for me.

Green tea, black tea, lemon water, detox water or a combination of green, lemon and detox.  Black tea to replace coffee and it takes less than half the cream and vanilla syrup to revive the memory of coffee.  A way to not feel totally deprived of something so yummy.  Yet, my brain still feels clear and no crash.

The next step in the experiment...how long will it take before I see the full effect of this break up?  

In other foody news.....I spent all day in the kitchen yesterday.  The refrigerator was cleaned, veggies were chopped and food was cooked.  A huge amount of peppers and onions were cooked for fajitas, and entire chicken was roasted and shredded for the boys, cilantro lime rice was made, cumin spiced black beans were sauteed, fresh pico de gallo was made and avocado, red cabbage and cilantro was chopped.  Today I'll be peeling and cutting up several apples and seeing what else I can think of doing.  Ease of use was my thought.  Need more plants and when they are easy and quick, they get eaten.  When they get eaten in large doses, I feel better.

So....breaking up wasn't so hard to do.  Not like I thought.  No headaches....cravings yes...but no headaches or crabbiness like so many people talk about.  Not too shabby.

Blessings to you for clarity to see all the wonder of life and the brilliance in who and what you are,
the Mrs.

wellness

Being "well" takes work.  I don't think it's something that just happens, not in the truest sense of the word.  Too often people completely take for granted being well......or even forget what it feels like to be truly well and end up mistaking mediocre for wellness.

Well: adjective /wel/ 

In good health; free or recovered from illness
• - I don't feel very well
• - it would be some time before Sarah was completely well
• - he was not a well man
In a satisfactory state or position
• - all is not well in her ideal-looking town
Sensible; advisable
• - it would be well to know just what this suggestion entails

The sense of being well is different for each individual, I doubt that what well looks like for me would be good enough for some and for others, sadly, it would be a welcome relief.  Well, for the individual is when that person is performing and feeling at their optimum levels in life.  What that looks like varies from person to person but I'm sure at the basic level, they are more similar than different.   We want to be satisfactorily rested, as free from illness or pain as possible, content with our sense of self, our relationships and our surroundings.  There is inner well being and a physical well being....they both need attention.

When various conditions enter into the equation, the solution changes. For me, there is a lot that goes into wellness.  As a child who was always sick, illness is no stranger.  I was a regular patient at Mayo Clinic for many years with an autoimmune condition.....all of my teen years, actually.  A few years into that I was in a car accident that left me with permanent damage to my brain and my body.  Pain, is no stranger either.   A year or so after having my son, I began to develop symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), something that seems to have been passed down the line on my mom's side of the family.  A few years after that, food became the enemy and affected nearly every system in my body.  I wrote more about that here.

What I've learned keeps me well...

Sleep.  I learned that my brain needs a sufficient amount of sleep in order to function clearly.   When I don't get enough it's hard to stay focused.   I feel like I'm in a fog and everything is moving slowly.  Is this common for everyone? Sure.  But for me, even at optimum levels all across the board, I have to put real effort into focusing on any one thing.  Conversations, take concentrated effort...so I prefer written communications because people deserve the best of what I have to offer.  Those venues allow me the ability to articulate things more clearly by taking my time, choosing my words carefully and being able to actually think about not only what to say but how to say it.  Words matter and I find that I use the wrong ones more often when I can't really think about things.  In order to really think, I need sleep.  

Diet.  What I eat matters a great deal.  I cannot eat blindly or without thought.  Not just because I'm trying to lose weight but because everything I put into my body has the ability to either nourish or hurt.  There is no in-between for me.  Whole, nourishing and mostly organic.  I've cut out most meat and added more and more veggies and fruit.  I can feel a difference.  When temptation hits and I want sweets...MnM's, cake, a beer, pop, fast food.....I have to stop and think.  Those indulgences have a price.....not only on the scale but I pay with pain and time.   I need to drink lots of water, not too much diary - IBS and dairy are not the best of friends.  Not too much bread but when I do, only whole grain, no corn products, nothing "enriched" (that word does not mean what you think it means - it's not a positive word in your food).  Fresh, REAL food.  The things a body was meant to consume.  There were no Doritos trees in the garden of Eden.  There were no burger trees or french fry trees.  There were no plants with packets of powder to add to things.  Eat as if your only resources were the earth itself.  If man hadn't stepped in and tried to make things cheaper, lazier, more profitable, worthless, "easier" we would eat from gardens and local farmers.  We wouldn't be listening to people tell us that protein was SO essential that we ate WAY too much of it and found any possible way to shove it into our bodies in forms that are not natural.  We would eat when we were hungry and only until we were full.....because we wouldn't be eating food that blocked the receptors in the brain that tell you "stop eating, you're full".  If it's processed, powdered, something you can't grow, pick or kill - I don't eat it.

Stress.  Stress triggers a great many things.  IBS is triggered by stress.  My brain doesn't function well under stress.  When my brain doesn't function well, I don't make good decisions about eating which triggers reactions in my brain, joints, muscles and IBS.   Stress is not good for anyone.  For me, it just makes a lot of things more complicated.  I manage stress a few ways...one is to make sure that our calendar does not get filled up with things to just be busy.  Relationships flounder when there is too much going on.  When people are always in a hurry relationships float at the surface, there's no time for real conversations or even time to think, feel or know how you really feel about anything.  "Fine" becomes the answer to how you are because you haven't had time to identify how you are.  Is that what life is?  Being too hurried to connect to the people you love?  Too rushed trying to accomplish "things" and "tasks" that "should" be done?   I read a phrase many years ago in a book that changed my way of thinking.  I don't remember much of the book but the one phrase made an impact:  You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.   And I do.  Hurry serves no good purpose.  Eliminating it, keeps stress in check.

Exercise.  Okay I totally admit that I don't like this one.  BUT I confess that I know that I feel better when I am regularly active.   I don't enjoy working out at all but I know that  exercise is very good for people with IBS, it helps to flush toxins out of the body faster which is very good for my food issues.  I have some limitations here because my arms never fully recovered from the months of being incapacitated by food reactions.  I don't have the strength in my hands that I once did.  If I overexert the connections in my hands and arms it is painful....not always right away but later, being completely still will be my only comfort.  It's been hard to know, and I'm still learning this, what my max is.  Its hard to know how much is too much when there is no immediate reaction or sign to alert me.  So I move.  Not aggressively, not in a way that many would even consider a significant workout but for me, it works.  It keeps me feeling good, moving forward in weight-loss goals and most of the time, without pain.

Vitamins and supplements.  I take a lot.

My health and wellness depend on this more than I ever realized it would.  When I run out of an essential, I am more susceptible to illness, pain, brain fog and food reactions.  High doses of Magnesium keep my IBS in check and my muscles relaxed.  Vitamin D helps in our climate for energy and boosts the immune system - I don't consume a lot of dairy and don't care for sunbathing so I have experienced significant deficiency here, thus a daily dose in the winter with smaller doses in the summer.  I take a high potency Vitamin B complex which helps avoid nerve pain, boosts immunity, great neurological benefits and when I don't take this I notice a nearly uncontrollable desire to eat. It also has mood boosting, PMS busting benefits!  Folic Acid helps to balance the B complex as well as makes your hair and nails healthy.  Taurine works with neurotransmitters...basically people who are highly sensitive to MSG/Manufactured Glutamate benefit from taking this regularly. Evening Primrose Oil nourishes joints, muscles, skin and inflammation. Echinacea boosts immunity and healing.  Calcium keeps my muscles from twitching and all the regular bone health and such.  Green tea for energy and antioxidants.  When I need them I take White Willow Bark and Bosweilia for pain.  When I miss a dose, I feel the difference....sometimes it's only that I don't feel as well as I could, other times I get sick or experience some other negative effect.

Attitude.  I strongly believe that attitude is significantly linked to wellness.  There is NO reason to dwell on the negative.  None.  Attitude is a choice.  Free will is so much more than only the choice to believe in God or turn your back on Him.  We have a choice in how we receive information.  We have a choice in how we move through life.  You can have a negative experience and still have a good day!  Choose it!  You can endure pain and still be joyful!  There is always something good to focus on.  I choose to not give weight to any limitation in my life.  I forget things, so?  I experience pain quite often, so what?  The Lord blessed me with a high tolerance for it so I'm equipped to handle it.  I can choose to be bitter about the things in my life or my past or I can choose to embrace the moment I'm in, the place in life I'm in and see all the amazing things.  Sure, some days stress gets to me and I'm not so positive.  I'm human.  More often than not though.....I'm going to choose joy.  I choose to smile.  I choose to look for the lovely...because it can always be found.

Faith.  The Lord has brought me through a great many things in my life.  He has made me wiser from them.  Better, deeper, richer for it.  He is my constant companion, I am never alone.  Without Him I would be a different story.  More than likely I wouldn't be here to tell that story either.  He has saved me in more ways than I can count, carried me through more pains and illnesses that I thought would destroy me.  Refined by fire.  He brings me out the other side of each trial stronger for it......and in His amazing and brilliant, glorious way, He always puts someone right in front of me who needs to hear the story.  That they aren't alone and someone else understands.  He shows them that He offers healing and joy and proof that the past can be left behind.  It IS possible to heal and stand tall, the past doesn't always have to hurt, nor does it have to be forgotten.  The past is past....it can't hurt you unless you chose to hold on to the hurt. There is freedom in letting go.   Freedom in His love and mercy and presence in the here and now.  He is always good, always perfect, always loving.  He makes me well.

There is a lot that goes into being well.   I don't always get it right. I screw up a lot.  I make bad choices and have to pay for them.  Though the act of putting thought into what it really takes to BE well, may just be one of those things required to maintain being well....

Blessings of wellness and freedom to you, 

the Mrs.

2012 can only get better right?

Its been one heck of a week.  Whatever hit my gut last week did a real number on my body and the recovery has felt like a roller coaster.   Each time I thought that I was clearly feeling better it wasn't long before I would get hit right back down.   Today is as consistent I've felt in a week.  No where near 100% but I do feel that at the very least I can function and get a few things done without needing to lay down.  THAT feels good!

Today one of my missions was to get some thoughts organised for the coming week.  I've got two goals for our home - 1) get the house in order - working order, 2) take down the decorations.  This will be my work filter.  No veering off to deep clean a room or reorganize anything.   This week is all about the basics.  Getting into a routine, clearing up clutter and all matter of things that have gone by the way side while mom has been sick.   Mr and the Dude have done an amazing job of taking care of both the house and me.  I am so grateful that they respect what I do and try so hard to not let things pile up!  The help has been wonderful!  But as we all know, when someone else is taking care of our work space things can get shifted around and put back not quite how we would do it and it takes some readjusting to get our space back to where we can work efficiently.  I decided I would need to set a couple of goals to keep me on track as well as to keep me from over doing it.

In other news, it was middle school instrument night this week.  I can't believe the Dude will be in middle school.....baffles my mind how that tiny boy has grown so fast!  So he's wanted to play the violin for a few years now and we just haven't gotten there.  Now he had his first real opportunity to play a host of instruments and see what he thought.  There were teachers and instructors there to show the kids just what to do - how to hold their hands, play notes, etc.  There was a string room, a brass room and a wind room.  SO many instruments!!!   He fell in love with the bass.....we were so surprised!!!  It's SO BIG!  It was a near tie with the violin and the instructor said he was very natural with them both and quickly figured out how to play "hot cross buns" and how many fingers you used to hold the strings down depending on which instrument you used.   It was such fun to see him with these instruments!  He doesn't have to make a final decision until late summer when they will do this again for the kids but he is SO excited!

Last night, Mr was out at a function and Dude brings me a ziplock bag with the most recent lost tooth in it.....ehem......he lost it over a week ago....   Our tooth fairy is fairly delinquent....forgetful and unobservant.  So he dangles this baggie and I stumble for some sort of excuse about how his dresser was so messy "maybe she couldn't find it" and he just smiles and says "Mom, you know I don't believe in the tooth fairy right?  I mean you keep telling me that if it's not mentioned in the Bible that I shouldn't believe it and I don't think God mentioned fairies in the Bible......He also didn't talk about bunnies who sneak into your house to leave candy either......"   My jaw dropped and I cracked up!!   Not one indicator previous to this moment that he'd stopped believing in either!  So he was still dangling this tooth in the air and I said "Well what a relief!  You know parents do this for their kids because their parents did it for them and wonder of it all is so fun when you are little.   ......so, why are you still dangling this tooth in my face?  What do you want me to do with it now?"  D: "uh.....pay me for it, like all the others?" he says with a smirk.   I laughed SO hard!!!!  After he said goodnight, as he went back into his room, he yells over his shoulder "Santa was a man and I still believe in him!!!!"   Kid cracks me up.

I'll be on sometime in the morning to post on weigh in.  I'm very curious to see what happens, food has been a major battle this week with everything that has gone on.  I'm trying to drink lots of water today and flush out all the crud.   I've got my pitcher of detox water made and ready for tomorrow and plan to drink that all this week.  Mr has a holiday party for work on Friday so I need to find something to wear and get myself in shape for that.   Can't wear jeans and that is all I own!!!   Gee.....guess I need to do some shopping...oh, darn.

Blessings to you for health and wellness and a wonderfully positive perspective on the coming week!!
the Mrs.

I fought the good fight...

.....you should see the other guy....he's lookin way better than me.

After my last post (is it really Thursday???) I ended up snuggling with the toilet as I was overcome by some sort of stomach bug.  I have a fairly high tolerance for pain but when it comes to vomiting.....I go from strong woman to whimpering 5 year old girl who wants her mommy, in no time flat.   Fortunately my hero came home from work (on his first day back no less) so he could pick up the Dude from school and take care of me, he also stayed home yesterday.   Which was good because I was in no shape to take care of anything.   He made sure that I had food and stayed hydrated.....he even held the glass and straw for me to drink.

Today I feel as though I went a few rounds with a prize fighter.  Did you know that if you lay across a toilet seat that the length stretches from forehead to sternum?  I do now....and have bruises in both locations, don't make me laugh because it hurts.  Kidneys and joints are sore, oh I am a pretty, pretty picture!   On the positive side....the holiday weight is gone. I'm actually down -3, to my lowest WW weight......I'm doubting it will stay off buuuut food doesn't exactly appeal right now so perhaps that was good timing.

Mr did say I was looking skinny yesterday.....(don't laugh...ow).


Blunt force trauma to the head and chest inflicted by digestive pyrotechnics....that's how I roll people.  Wonder how many activity points that's worth....

Today I am grateful that it is over.   Discomfort is SO much easier to handle.  I'm going to park myself on the couch for a while and hope that some Advil kicks in and try to get the house into a shape resembling normal.

I hope that the first week of the year has started out with a more positive bang for you, or at least an entirely different kind than mine.   I can't believe the week is nearly over already...

Blessings of laughter and health to you and yours,
the Mrs.

Mommy bumbles it

My boy is home today.  We've been dealing with a random and mysterious sore throat for a few weeks.  When I say that I feel so delinquent. It has been here today, gone tomorrow, sometimes just annoying and other days making him feel yucky enough to stay home.....then mysteriously, he's fine.  No fever, no runny nose or cough....just this one mysterious symptom.  I thought it was a cold that just wouldn't let go...until yesterday.  I got a call from the nurse at school.  He'd been there twice...but "no fever".....this time he was in tears, he wanted to come home.  I arrived to pick him up and he was clearly miserable, crying but trying to be brave...."but I don't want to miss school".   ugh......my heart.  

He is 10.   The sweetest most un-10 year old boy you've ever met.  He is an odd jewel of a person.  It is captivating watching him grow, seeing who the Lord has made him to be emerge from childhood and into this boy......dare I say, young man.  Perhaps I'm biased....but he impresses me, simply with being who he is.  Uncomplicated, totally transparent, honest to a fault, give him a rule and he will live and die by it.  He impresses me.

He then tells me that his face hurts, just beneath each eye.  This is new.  Sinus infection??  He's a kid....I've never had one myself so I can only go from the descriptions of others.   We went straight to urgent care.  I asked the Lord to please let us not have to wait for hours, let the freezing temps keep people home and let us get in quickly.  I stashed bunny crackers and an apple juice box in my purse before I left the house, knowing this is where we would end up.  The Lord is faithful and there wasn't even one person ahead of us.  We got in less than 20 minutes from walking in the door.

Another negative strep test and a quick look in the nose.....massive sinus infection.  She even grunted a half gasp at how bad it was.  I could have crawled in a hole....how could I have missed this.  We talked.   I asked a million questions.  The result; he has allergies and the drainage down his throat has been causing the sore irritated throat.  Laying down relieves things which is why he feels so much better after laying on the couch for a day.  A few days later it's built up again and he doesn't feel well.  Mystery solved.  Kinda...  Now we have a whole new mystery.

I explained how I was reluctant to bring him in because he gets a sore throat every time he gets sick, no fever ever but he doesn't feel well and we get sent home, "drink lots of fluids, rest and wait".  So that's what I did this time.   She comforted me saying I couldn't have known what was going on, that doctors wouldn't have looked at allergies as the cause due to his age.   The Dude's calm, laid back demeanor told her that he is clearly not a complainer and is a tough kid.  She pressed on all his sinuses and his reactions were minor but he did say it hurt.   I could tell from her comments and reactions she was expecting more drama from him.

"Anyone in your family have allergies?"  again, I feel like I should shrink.   How could I have missed this?  I had allergies as a kid.  So badly that instead of seeing a regular pediatrician I saw an allergy specialist for every sniffle and complaint I had.   I was constantly sick with something or other and was at the doctor so often we had a close relationship.  He took me on as one of his youngest patients, because he'd begun treating my mother while she was pregnant with me.  He gave me tongue depressors to take home and I would bring them back to him decorated and drawn on, I would draw him pictures and name my stuffed animals after his nurses.  When I was older, he was at a conference so I had to see a colleague of his. When he came in to see me he brought my folder, full and heavy.  When he sat it down on the desk, he looked at me and said I must be special.......one by one he pulled out every tongue depressor and picture I'd brought him over the years.

Now I need to pull those memories back out of the archives and find someone to bring the Dude to.  Once the sinus infection is cleared up.  Time to test and see what he is allergic to.....and I'm curious to see if there is a food connection.   Granted I see a food connection to everything......but still, it is the one constant source of input the body has that can trigger adverse affects.   It has been true in my life and I know that it can be true for him.  Has been since he was an infant.

So today I let him stay home....perhaps out of guilt.  Though I know that one more day of letting his body rest and the medication do it's work will only help, not hurt.  He looks so much better today than last night.....last night he looked like he'd been in a fight.  His eyes were puffy and dark.....the light hurt his eyes and he was uncomfortable....but he didn't complain.   He would just answer honestly when I asked.....so I know I need to ask more often and better questions.....because he won't complain, not unless it's bad.  

What a kid.   He is the epitome of a living breathing answer to prayer.....his name means "God has heard".  I asked for him, begged for him....and I do mean himjust one.  He did and I am blessed.  

I love the Lord because He hears and answers my prayers.  Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!  ~Ps. 116:1-2

The Lord is so faithful.  He has answered so many prayers.  So many custom orders slowly revealed in His perfect timing.   He hears.  He knows.  

Blessings of abundance, peace and the encompassing awareness of His presence and love,
the Mrs.

changes on my plate

Belated Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope your celebrations were filled with joy, family and fun!

My "less meat" adventure has begun.  On my Thanksgiving plate I had a pile of green beans, 2 fork fulls of mashed potatoes, cauliflower and about 2 ounces of turkey breast.....I think this was the first thanksgiving I that I felt both satisfied and "healthy" at the end.....meaning I didn't feel tired or like I was going to explode.

Though I have realized that meat in some way shape or form has been the bulk of my points in a day.  Taking meat out has brought me a new "point" challenge in my Weight Watchers journey.  Yesterday I found myself having 19, of my 29 total points for the day, left to use for DINNER.  I was hungry but not that hungry.  So I have some things to figure out....besides the change in my grocery list so I can get some new ingredient staples into the house.   I can say that while I haven't gone 100% meat free in the last 3 days, I do feel really good.

Flexitarian.  My new word.  I had no idea this term existed.  But now that I do, it probably most accurately describes my changing approach to food.    Food and I have an interesting relationship.  It's certainly something that we can't just stop consuming.  We must eat to live.  There is no choice here.   When the very thing that is required for life is the very thing that is ripping your body apart.....things get interesting.  For the last 3 years I have "cleaned" our grocery list.  There are a few random items that still come into the house for family members or the occasional treat but for the most part, things are made from scratch.  Ingredient lists are read for every item purchased - I do mean every item.

I have a list of around 100 ingredients that I cannot consume.  When I say "ingredient" I do not mean "milk" or  "tree nuts", I mean when you purchase table salt there is an ingredient list.   When you purchase milk, cheese, chicken, a can of beans or a package of organic anything.....there is an ingredient list.  Yes, did you know that your meat actually has a list of ingredients?   I nearly had a meltdown in the meat isle when I realized that....and then completely swore off any and all Jennie-O products as they made me want to cry and curse at the same time.

3 years ago I was couch bound and incapacitated for months and doctors had no idea why.  Thanks to the Lord providing me a trail of breadcrumbs to follow, I was able to shuffle my way to an answer.  Food was making me sick.  I was in so much pain doctors initially thought I was quickly developing rheumatoid arthritis. My speech was slurred and I couldn't think clearly.  My joints hurt so badly that some days I couldn't even hold the spoon to feed myself the food my husband had cut up for me.

So now, I'm 35, I've figured out the things that I can and cannot eat.  Which also includes how they are cooked.....no slow roasting, no crock pot cooking and no fermented foods.  Inviting me to a dinner party isn't really something people usually want to tackle....or at least I discourage it.  Frankly people don't realize the complexity of what goes into me being able to eat food that won't cause me to have a reaction (or at least 1 of the 18 different reactions I can have).  When people ask for a list they expect me to give them a list of maybe five different foods not a list of 100 ingredients that can be found in food.

Most people who hear a little about my food sensitivities think its some sort of crazy lady, food conspiracy, oh my gosh don't stand too close, she might just stab you with a carrot thing.   Once they hear that when I took all the ingredients out of the house my family started to develop sensitivities to the ingredients as well....they pause to rethink....but only for a moment.   If, if, they have a desire to learn more - and lets be honest, it's always the mom's - I will email them the information I have compiled.  Once they have read through that and their eyes and minds are open....they start asking me questions, often.

I'm totally un-intimidated by this new foody adventure.  I am looking forward to feeling even better than I do, looking even better and perhaps increasing the speed of my weight loss as an added bonus (but my focus is still only on those 2 pounds per week).  I only eat whole grain, whole wheat bread if I have purchased it myself because anything "enriched" or containing a corn product will cause a reaction.  No soy products what-so-ever, they all cause a reaction and I've read some things about how soy is processed in the body and while it may be good for skin care it is not good for human consumption (I also can't eat animals who have eaten a diet of mostly corn and soy products).  But I can't source those sites for you right now because it was long ago and in the many, many, many different resources I've used over the years.....my brain just cannot file it all.  Nothing fermented - so no yogurt or vinegar...we'll see what else that may include, like miso paste...I'm not trying that one.

In the long run, this may just simplify how I eat by taking out the one large, questionable, category I've had to deal with.  Organic grass fed beef is expensive so I have a feeling we will be saving some money in the future.

My hubby is a self-proclaimed "meatatarian" and he has no fear of me trying to convert him but my journey with food has opened his mind to a lot of things.   IF he chooses to join me, great!  But for now it will just be me, figuring this out, for me.

If anyone out there is interested, here are some things I have found in the last few days that might be helpful: (Please forgive my blogger incompetence in not knowing how to insert their page graphics)

Meatless Monday campaign

Get Natured - Vegetarian/vegan blogger who has some great info

Little House of Veggies - lots of recipes

Tips from Ann Esselstyn from Forks Over Knives

Recipes!

Blessings for the journey He has you on, 

the Mrs.

a mixed bag

With Thanksgiving tomorrow I've been planning a post about preparing our homes for more than the holidays.  Touching on how scripture and prayer in our homes goes beyond art and ritual and the effect it has on the people   who live and enter into our space.  Life on the other hand has offered some distractions....

The Dude has been fighting this cold bug for what seems like an eternity.  A few days of a light cough and sore throat (no trace of a fever), a tummy ache here and there and then he's feeling better and back to normal.....until a few days later.  This has been going on for about 2 weeks.  Not one symptom has raised the doctor flag so we've treated with rest, juice and some elderberry and zinc lozenges...a little echinacea dropped in his apple juice and then he's raring to go again.  Until this week.  Stayed home from school yesterday.  Today he tells me that he feels way better and his throat doesn't hurt so much anymore.....and TODAY he actually has his first fever!  Granted it's only 99.5 but still.   How weird is that!?  I'm foregoing the fever reducing meds today so that hopefully this fever will kick those germs to the curb for good finally.

On top of that I now feel strange....kinda nauseated and blah.   I'm hoping it's just some phase in my cycle and not an actual illness.   Wouldn't that just figure though....the day before thanksgiving?  Wouldn't be the first for me.  It's actually happened several times where I've missed some holiday because I've gotten sick and because I am so careful (probably too much so) about germs and passing them on to people.    I do not appreciate when people assume that the rest of the world has no issue with the simple cold and put no care into who might catch it.   

I learned how important this was when my mother went through chemo and was so susceptible to germs....I've also had plenty of my own health issues and tend to pretty much catch anything I encounter.  So simply because I so appreciate when others are careful, I do the same.  Or at least try my best!

One of my favorite tricks is that when someone gets sick around here they get their own bathroom towel.  One towel goes up over the shower curtain and the other goes on the towel rod.  When the kids were little they got those Velcro towels for the stove, on the inside doorknob to the bathroom.  I also separate the toothbrushes into glasses with water mixed with either hydrogen peroxide or alcohol.   Those things have helped immensely in containing illnesses.

Yesterday I watched the documentary Forks Over Knives it's about an hour and 30+ minutes.....I watched the whole thing on the treadmill.  It was SO interesting I believe I totally forgot my legs were moving.  So now I'm totally considering eating less meat.  Yeah.....it was THAT compelling that me, someone who believes that bacon is "meat candy" is considering phasing out meat.   I do not plan on forcing my family into this but I do hope to start incorporating some vegetarian meals or at least something they can use as a side dish to start experimenting.   With the genetics I have inherited for cancer, heart disease, diabetes and a host of other things...I feel I should take the science presented in the film seriously.   I've already phased out chemicals and processed foods so this shouldn't be too hard....over time.  Nothing happens over night.

Time for a walk on the mill....nothing too strenuous since I'm not feeling 100%.  I've got a goal to hit people!  

Blessings for a beautiful thanksgiving and an overwhelming awareness of how truly blessed you are, 

the Mrs.