A family scoping out the dollar section, both kids (aged about 11-13) trying on turkey hats. ....all smiles and laughter.......I smiled right back at them.
A young, frustrated mom with a 2-3 year old. Angry voiced and ordering...I heard the 1-2-3 loud and clear at least 4 times from the other side of the isle wall. Empty threats were made.....at every location I saw them. Angry voice and a near empty cart. .....put him in the cart, your angry voice won't be needed and maybe he will see his mommy smile from there......I wanted to say.
A gentleman on a cell phone greets the person on the other end with "Hello, love of my life! I just found something....." .....I smiled as I wandered away thinking of my own Mr.
Another young mom with a little one, closely supervising him inspect picture frames. The language was gentle but firm.... "Be careful please, we must be gentle with things that can break." ......careful, positive instruction warms my heart.
Two separate women on an ear-bud type phone....talking loudly. ......both make me chuckle.....I wonder if they realize how crazy they appear.
I wandered with a smile on my face. Each person whose eye I met received a smile just for them. Some seemed a bit befuddled and others lit up with their own.
A smile. It is a free gift to the world that keeps on giving.
Blessings to you for miles of smiles that emanate from within and pass on the blessing to others.
the Mrs.
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
30-Day Challenge Day 2
What a week to start....filled with opportunity to encourage and test my self discipline.
It's Mr's birthday this coming weekend. Monday started his first day of his new job - which is basically to study his brains out so he can pass his series 7 and 66 exams before Christmas. It also happens to be MEA week here and the Dude is off school Wednesday through Friday and Wonderteen will be here tonight for a bit, then off to a church group sleepover and then back here during the day tomorrow. During all this Mr needs to be studying downstairs in his new home office.
He has a rigorous schedule to keep up with. Daily quizzes and tests need to be accomplished and the schedule is 6 days a week. This was an opportunity to set up a nice space for him downstairs. I purchased black shelves and frames for the wall, ordered some prints from Shutterfly so he can have some nice pictures on the wall and set up a buffet surface with some healthy snacks, tissues, paper plates and such just like he had in his work office. Uncluttering was maybe the biggest job as that particular area had become a catchall for the random things removed from other areas of the house. Now he has a nice chair and coffee table along with his desk area so he can have a change of pace.
His birthday Saturday offers opportunities to bless him. I decided to have fun with it and give him little gifts each day leading up to it. Yesterday was flowers and a hilarious card that talks - "the pocket hot dog", it made us both laugh.
The kids being home this week will present unique challenges. Extra traffic to the basement shower, extra volume and footsteps....boredom and bodies upstairs in my space. The practice of editing my words has been something I've been working on for many years now. My mother was very negative and berating of my father. Early in our marriage we both recognized those patterns coming through in my speech and it made neither of us happy. In the beginning it was as if I had no control of it or clue as to how to choose different words. My mind saw the down side, the 'poor me', finger pointing perspective all too easily. If I couldn't edit my thoughts how would I ever edit what came out of my mouth?
My journey began there to change my view of the world, my circumstances and fully embrace the fact that all things are a choice. My free will goes beyond just my ability to choose the Lord or reject Him. I have the choice to train my mind. I can choose how I see a situation, how I receive and react to words spoken to me, I can choose what I say and how I feel and what I think. It is ALL a choice and to believe anything less is a lie, an excuse to not put in the work it takes.
"out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks"
Matt 12:34b
What is the abundance of your heart? Listen to your words and you'll find out. If you think it isn't an accurate reflection.......look closer. Either you are lying to yourself that your heart is filled with something other than it is, you are in denial about the tone of your words or you need to seriously ask yourself why your heart and your mouth don't match.
It is a change that takes a lot of work. I think when Mr told me that I had a joyful spirit I finally felt like I had purged out that person I thought I was genetically doomed to be. I know there is a whole nature vs nurture theory but beyond my physical looks I choose to believe that what is in me, who I am, is not and will never be beyond my control to choose.
So in this challenge I am encouraging my husband but I am also gifting him with an improved wife in the process. A wife whose attitude is improved by the training of her mind.
Things are in a big transition in our home and family. This challenge couldn't come at a better time...time to train up my mind and make sure my attitude stays in check. This is a time to not allow my circumstances to give me permission to be sour but to hold my mind and my tongue captive to obey Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5) It is not my job to measure myself against another but to do and be what He asks of me.
Blessings to you for the discipline to hold your mind captive and discover the abundance of your heart,
the Mrs.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
A 30 Day Challenge.
Okay so maybe I didn't make it back yesterday...
A new challenge has presented itself. One entirely different from the last. Not about food, weight or exercise...or is it?
The food would be His Word.
The weight would be the responsibility.
The exercise would be discipline...of the mind and the tongue.
While meandering through Pinterest last week I ran across a pin with a sweet looking picture of what appears to be a bride and groom sitting in the back of a truck bed at sunset. The comment under it simply said "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge". Intrigued, I followed the links.
What I found was something scriptural, focused genuinely on building up the man, daily entries were short and to the point, convicting without being condemning and gave a daily challenge that was entirely doable but also stretching. My first reaction was to simply pin it to my "for our marriage" board and check it out later. The Lord seemed to have other plans. It didn't just sit quietly at the back of my brain. It jumped full force to the front of my brain with full out jazz hands that could not be ignored. A list of wives slowly came to mind....some who would simply enjoy the beauty that it existed and others who would love the guide and encouragement to the season in life they are in. Share it. So I did.
My expectation was at zero. I thought I'd share it and if I got any response back it would be a "Thanks, that's neat!" and nothing else. What I got.....was much more. Inbox messages of thanks and confession of struggling in the area. Requests to do this as a group and support each other. Surprise was about all I could muster at first.....then I had to chuckle at the Lord a bit. He knows my passions, He knows my buttons and where to get me. This would be it. Being a godly wife by the Book is one of my greatest passions, held second only to my passion at being as consistently Christ-like as I can be - which I am significantly less successful at. But the two connect and stretch each other....and encouraging another wife in this area is exciting. Four, is even more!
Yesterday was our first official start date. On day One the two challenges are set up:
A new challenge has presented itself. One entirely different from the last. Not about food, weight or exercise...or is it?
The food would be His Word.
The weight would be the responsibility.
The exercise would be discipline...of the mind and the tongue.
While meandering through Pinterest last week I ran across a pin with a sweet looking picture of what appears to be a bride and groom sitting in the back of a truck bed at sunset. The comment under it simply said "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge". Intrigued, I followed the links.
What I found was something scriptural, focused genuinely on building up the man, daily entries were short and to the point, convicting without being condemning and gave a daily challenge that was entirely doable but also stretching. My first reaction was to simply pin it to my "for our marriage" board and check it out later. The Lord seemed to have other plans. It didn't just sit quietly at the back of my brain. It jumped full force to the front of my brain with full out jazz hands that could not be ignored. A list of wives slowly came to mind....some who would simply enjoy the beauty that it existed and others who would love the guide and encouragement to the season in life they are in. Share it. So I did.
My expectation was at zero. I thought I'd share it and if I got any response back it would be a "Thanks, that's neat!" and nothing else. What I got.....was much more. Inbox messages of thanks and confession of struggling in the area. Requests to do this as a group and support each other. Surprise was about all I could muster at first.....then I had to chuckle at the Lord a bit. He knows my passions, He knows my buttons and where to get me. This would be it. Being a godly wife by the Book is one of my greatest passions, held second only to my passion at being as consistently Christ-like as I can be - which I am significantly less successful at. But the two connect and stretch each other....and encouraging another wife in this area is exciting. Four, is even more!
Yesterday was our first official start date. On day One the two challenges are set up:
- You can't say anything negative about your husband...to your husband...or to anyone else about your husband.
- Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband and to someone else about your husband.
What came to my mind was "hold your mind captive to the obedience of Christ" the verse in 2 Corinthians 10. So When I went to look it up I found that all of Chapter 10 was just pure goodness on this subject. Not specifically for wives but on the discipline of the mind and how that is so important. A mind run loose is a dangerous thing and it can trample anyone, yourself included.
Sound interesting? Want to join in?
Blessings for a disciplined mind and tongue and encouragement that flows easily from and to you.
the Mrs.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
An update, a weigh in and heavy compliment
Well mark me absent. Sorry. A lot of life happens in August!
So that porch project I mentioned a while back......or at least I think I mentioned it.....who really keeps track? It circled the bowl for a while and disappeared, thanks to city codes. So that idea morphed into "lets just get some patio furniture and make that weird, uninviting space more inviting" because hey!, good timing, furniture in the patio variety is going on clearance everywhere. On a Monday morning I saw a tent sale outside a new furniture store and it was full of patio stuff. Tuesday evening we went to check it out and it was gone. Like the tent never was. So we went inside thinking we'd ask or at least find the last few reject pieces to look at. Nothing. Since we were there we figured we should look around because we made the trip and we've been thinking about (and saving for) new living room furniture for years but not decided what we really wanted. Turned out they were having a big sale. We took the week to think about it and set a budget. Saturday we looked again, calculated over and over, discussed, sat, laid down, rearranged and measured, sat some more, made ourselves reaaaaaally comfy and finally decided. Part of the new set arrives on Thursday! A sectional big enough that, for the first time since we've been married, my 6'6 husband can actually lay down comfortably and all of us will be able to be on it, at the same time, EVEN if he is laying down! I'm a tad excited. We haven't owned a new piece of furniture (that wasn't someone else's first) in about 10 years. A new coffee table and end table arrive in about 6 weeks (on back order).
School prep is in full swing. One boy down and one girl to go. Tomorrow its schedule pick up and then off to shop for her new fashion identity for this year. She's been Pinteresting like crazy!
The Dude's bedroom Transformation is 99% complete. Just a few little things left to hang.....which I keep forgetting about.
I am currently in conflicted mommy mode. I am so excited and ready for school to start and to get into a normal rhythm as well as get some alone time back and be able to get things done in the house in a more efficient manner.......but school starting also means that we go back to barely seeing Wonderteen. It feels forever between weekends and considering how much closer we've all gotten this summer, it will probably feel worse. Watching these kids grow and come into themselves is so amazing and the school year tends to bring on explosive growth. It always seems that school starts and within a month I'm noticing big "growing up" changes in conversation and responsibility.
Weigh-ins have continued. I feel like I've been driving toward 160 with a bungee cord attached to my butt. I push to get there and right when I think its within my reach I am pulled back a pound....or even two. It's been frustrating. Though while the number dance has been happening I've noticed definition happening. My face continues to change, my collar bones and arms look different. Watches and rings continue to get bigger. Belts are still losing notches and those shorts that started to feel baggy are now looking baggy and unflattering. I finally had to bite the bullet and get the girls some new gear......yes, I had to do the dreaded bra shopping again. Though this time I actually purchased. When they measured me they didn't tell me "uh, you need an F, we don't carry those". Instead I heard the great news that I officially am down a band size into the 30's instead of the 40's but.....lets just say that a double turned into a triple and now that my mid section is starting to slim more, the girls are just.....OUT THERE.
As of yesterday I am solidly at 160.0. I didn't buy avocados this week, I am going to avoid oil like the plague, I bought one bar of chocolate and marked each piece with a day of the week so I can have one square per day and it will be easy to see when I have had too many. Though I didn't eat one yesterday.....amazing. This week I am hoping to FINALLY get into the 150's and break through this wall. I read about all these people who make the switch to a plant based diet and just start dropping pounds left and right....it's not happening for me! Its frustrating but I know that my body has held on to the pounds tightly. Friends are dropping as much, or even in one case double, what I have already lost and they've done it in at least half the time. I've now been doing this for well over a year and I'm only down 32 lbs. I'm not saying that 32 isn't any big deal - it is a big deal and it's a lot of weight - I just really thought I'd be done by now. Exercise....well, that really hasn't been happening. It took several weeks for my hips to recover from the cabin jogging I did and a couple weeks ago, then I attempted the treadmill and my hips went all kinds of painful crazy. So it appears that being a runner is not in my future and I've been avoiding the treadmill as I like feeling comfortable walking. Once school starts I plan to start working some Pilate's into my day, as that is gentle on the joints, can be done in short increments and most positions are laying down which should be easy on the hips.
In more romantic news....Last week Mr schemed with the kids to get me out on a surprise date. He sent me flowers and asked me out just like he did for our very first date. We went out to dinner and to see the new Batman in Imax (still loved it by the way). While we were at dinner he stopped and looked at me, really looked at me, and told me that since we've been married, I've never been more beautiful. Other than the first 6 months we were together (when I was a tiny 115 and a size 4....who knows what size that would be today though) I've been heavy. It started with beginning birth control and packing on a whopping 50 pounds in less than 5 months. It just wouldn't come off.....that combined with the diet change of "mommy and daddy's groceries" to "living on your own groceries" it just did bad things to my body and I haven't looked the same since. For years I've looked in the mirror and not recognized myself. Flipping back and forth between a vision in my head being smaller than reality and then looking in the mirror and feeling much larger than reality. Now however...in my head I see myself at my goal weight and size and my body feels uncomfortably big and in the way. It causes frustration.....and humor......one day I was laying down and put my hand down at my waist and felt this bulge. At first I thought "what the heck is that!" and then.....I realized it was a fat roll and laughed myself silly. Even the fat that is still there is different. Everything is changing, fitting differently, looking differently....my face probably fascinates me the most. I've seen this fat girl so long and focused on what I wanted my body to look like for so long that my new slimmer face surprises me. When I see pictures, I think whoa....that is me??? Crazy.
The heavy compliment? It came from Mr as we walked into the furniture store. We were having a conversation about people we know with negative attitudes, how it seems like they search for things to complain about and can't seem to see the good in anything. Then Mr says "They don't have a joyful spirit and aren't lucky enough to have a wife who has a joyful spirit to teach them." It went something like that...but it really hit me and I didn't know what to say as I felt tears start to well up. Of course those had to be stuffed down because we were going into the store and I really didn't need to be that girl at the moment. Those words though....it is a heavy compliment. Its both something to live up to and affirming something I've striven for most of my life. To take all of the trials and challenges life has handed me and make myself better with them.....never bitter. It's always been a challenge to mentally not pull the "oh poor me" card or fall into that trap the world seems to set for people "oh you've been through so much, I'd be a little angry at the world too". NO. Adversity is NO excuse for a bad attitude, anger, bitterness or an invasive negativity that is toxic to everyone around you. Adversity is an opportunity, to grow, to learn, to be stretched, to have the ability to stand in someone else's shoes and be able to mean it when you say I understand. Adversity is an opportunity to gain wisdom. Don't focus on the love and support you needed and didn't get - you can't go back and change your experience in life any more than you can change the ingredients in last nights dinner. Focus on how you can use that experience. Love and support someone else the way you needed it. Give to others what you wish you'd received. Missing out is not a valid reason for withholding from others. It might just bring you healing in the process.
A joyful spirit.... Wow. Me? He really thinks that of me? ......that may be the compliment of a lifetime.
Blessings to you, for a joyful spirit in all things transitional and stationary, may the blessing of laughter and joy bubble up from within your soul and be displayed on your face.
the Mrs.
So that porch project I mentioned a while back......or at least I think I mentioned it.....who really keeps track? It circled the bowl for a while and disappeared, thanks to city codes. So that idea morphed into "lets just get some patio furniture and make that weird, uninviting space more inviting" because hey!, good timing, furniture in the patio variety is going on clearance everywhere. On a Monday morning I saw a tent sale outside a new furniture store and it was full of patio stuff. Tuesday evening we went to check it out and it was gone. Like the tent never was. So we went inside thinking we'd ask or at least find the last few reject pieces to look at. Nothing. Since we were there we figured we should look around because we made the trip and we've been thinking about (and saving for) new living room furniture for years but not decided what we really wanted. Turned out they were having a big sale. We took the week to think about it and set a budget. Saturday we looked again, calculated over and over, discussed, sat, laid down, rearranged and measured, sat some more, made ourselves reaaaaaally comfy and finally decided. Part of the new set arrives on Thursday! A sectional big enough that, for the first time since we've been married, my 6'6 husband can actually lay down comfortably and all of us will be able to be on it, at the same time, EVEN if he is laying down! I'm a tad excited. We haven't owned a new piece of furniture (that wasn't someone else's first) in about 10 years. A new coffee table and end table arrive in about 6 weeks (on back order).
School prep is in full swing. One boy down and one girl to go. Tomorrow its schedule pick up and then off to shop for her new fashion identity for this year. She's been Pinteresting like crazy!
The Dude's bedroom Transformation is 99% complete. Just a few little things left to hang.....which I keep forgetting about.
I am currently in conflicted mommy mode. I am so excited and ready for school to start and to get into a normal rhythm as well as get some alone time back and be able to get things done in the house in a more efficient manner.......but school starting also means that we go back to barely seeing Wonderteen. It feels forever between weekends and considering how much closer we've all gotten this summer, it will probably feel worse. Watching these kids grow and come into themselves is so amazing and the school year tends to bring on explosive growth. It always seems that school starts and within a month I'm noticing big "growing up" changes in conversation and responsibility.
Weigh-ins have continued. I feel like I've been driving toward 160 with a bungee cord attached to my butt. I push to get there and right when I think its within my reach I am pulled back a pound....or even two. It's been frustrating. Though while the number dance has been happening I've noticed definition happening. My face continues to change, my collar bones and arms look different. Watches and rings continue to get bigger. Belts are still losing notches and those shorts that started to feel baggy are now looking baggy and unflattering. I finally had to bite the bullet and get the girls some new gear......yes, I had to do the dreaded bra shopping again. Though this time I actually purchased. When they measured me they didn't tell me "uh, you need an F, we don't carry those". Instead I heard the great news that I officially am down a band size into the 30's instead of the 40's but.....lets just say that a double turned into a triple and now that my mid section is starting to slim more, the girls are just.....OUT THERE.
As of yesterday I am solidly at 160.0. I didn't buy avocados this week, I am going to avoid oil like the plague, I bought one bar of chocolate and marked each piece with a day of the week so I can have one square per day and it will be easy to see when I have had too many. Though I didn't eat one yesterday.....amazing. This week I am hoping to FINALLY get into the 150's and break through this wall. I read about all these people who make the switch to a plant based diet and just start dropping pounds left and right....it's not happening for me! Its frustrating but I know that my body has held on to the pounds tightly. Friends are dropping as much, or even in one case double, what I have already lost and they've done it in at least half the time. I've now been doing this for well over a year and I'm only down 32 lbs. I'm not saying that 32 isn't any big deal - it is a big deal and it's a lot of weight - I just really thought I'd be done by now. Exercise....well, that really hasn't been happening. It took several weeks for my hips to recover from the cabin jogging I did and a couple weeks ago, then I attempted the treadmill and my hips went all kinds of painful crazy. So it appears that being a runner is not in my future and I've been avoiding the treadmill as I like feeling comfortable walking. Once school starts I plan to start working some Pilate's into my day, as that is gentle on the joints, can be done in short increments and most positions are laying down which should be easy on the hips.
In more romantic news....Last week Mr schemed with the kids to get me out on a surprise date. He sent me flowers and asked me out just like he did for our very first date. We went out to dinner and to see the new Batman in Imax (still loved it by the way). While we were at dinner he stopped and looked at me, really looked at me, and told me that since we've been married, I've never been more beautiful. Other than the first 6 months we were together (when I was a tiny 115 and a size 4....who knows what size that would be today though) I've been heavy. It started with beginning birth control and packing on a whopping 50 pounds in less than 5 months. It just wouldn't come off.....that combined with the diet change of "mommy and daddy's groceries" to "living on your own groceries" it just did bad things to my body and I haven't looked the same since. For years I've looked in the mirror and not recognized myself. Flipping back and forth between a vision in my head being smaller than reality and then looking in the mirror and feeling much larger than reality. Now however...in my head I see myself at my goal weight and size and my body feels uncomfortably big and in the way. It causes frustration.....and humor......one day I was laying down and put my hand down at my waist and felt this bulge. At first I thought "what the heck is that!" and then.....I realized it was a fat roll and laughed myself silly. Even the fat that is still there is different. Everything is changing, fitting differently, looking differently....my face probably fascinates me the most. I've seen this fat girl so long and focused on what I wanted my body to look like for so long that my new slimmer face surprises me. When I see pictures, I think whoa....that is me??? Crazy.
The heavy compliment? It came from Mr as we walked into the furniture store. We were having a conversation about people we know with negative attitudes, how it seems like they search for things to complain about and can't seem to see the good in anything. Then Mr says "They don't have a joyful spirit and aren't lucky enough to have a wife who has a joyful spirit to teach them." It went something like that...but it really hit me and I didn't know what to say as I felt tears start to well up. Of course those had to be stuffed down because we were going into the store and I really didn't need to be that girl at the moment. Those words though....it is a heavy compliment. Its both something to live up to and affirming something I've striven for most of my life. To take all of the trials and challenges life has handed me and make myself better with them.....never bitter. It's always been a challenge to mentally not pull the "oh poor me" card or fall into that trap the world seems to set for people "oh you've been through so much, I'd be a little angry at the world too". NO. Adversity is NO excuse for a bad attitude, anger, bitterness or an invasive negativity that is toxic to everyone around you. Adversity is an opportunity, to grow, to learn, to be stretched, to have the ability to stand in someone else's shoes and be able to mean it when you say I understand. Adversity is an opportunity to gain wisdom. Don't focus on the love and support you needed and didn't get - you can't go back and change your experience in life any more than you can change the ingredients in last nights dinner. Focus on how you can use that experience. Love and support someone else the way you needed it. Give to others what you wish you'd received. Missing out is not a valid reason for withholding from others. It might just bring you healing in the process.
A joyful spirit.... Wow. Me? He really thinks that of me? ......that may be the compliment of a lifetime.
Blessings to you, for a joyful spirit in all things transitional and stationary, may the blessing of laughter and joy bubble up from within your soul and be displayed on your face.
the Mrs.
Friday, April 6, 2012
a Good Friday indeed
Some times, more than others, the clear markers of beginnings and endings are more welcome. Mondays and Fridays are clear markers of time for me. Weekends just kinda float around, hovering like a cloud of pretend vacation. They are an entity all their own...filled with both recovery and preparation.
This week wasn't what I expected, it wasn't full of productivity in my home or gardens....instead there was a very active hamster in my head that just wouldn't give up his wheel. His sweat became my tears, his body aches became my heartache. Unfortunately he kept the endorphins for himself and didn't share those. Selfish bugger.
Keeping focused on the positive in all things, the ability to laugh and see the silver lining, the lovely in the disaster.....is an attitude I try so hard to maintain. When the heart aches and the mind reels from the sheer extremes it encounters in a short period of time.....the dizzy spinning makes it hard to maintain focus on any one thing.
This morning I am struck with opportunity. The hustle of morning routine is cut short, no school today means there is only my Mr to send off this morning. As I approached my desk with my big mug of coffee (it's a big mug morning - yes, yes, I know that's more points because it's more dessert than coffee. Stop pooing my parade...I'm trying to be positive here), I noticed the sun shining in the dirty front window and smiled at the highlighted "nose art" the little dogs left behind. Mr called as he pulled out of the driveway because he didn't want me to miss seeing the pair of ducks just sitting in the front yard. From where I sit right now I can see the beautiful pale green of developing leaves emerging on once bare branches. Stuff to smile about.
Growth is usually accompanied by growing pains. Also accompanied by some awkwardness as things slowly find their balance again. Growth is tremendously valuable....as is pain. There are few other things in life that allow us to come along side each other and provide comfort. To be able to say "I understand" as a truth is a comfort that cannot be purchased. To have people not just speak but show you how valuable you are to them, what you have added to their life, is priceless.
Make it a priority in life to both speak and show people how much value they add to your life. Write letters, bring flowers, hugs and words of praise and encouragement. Speaking and showing are both equally important, sometimes verbal words ring hollow but physical efforts - pen to paper, time to write it out, time to choose something that has meaning deeper than appearances, the knowledge of being thought of beyond your use - "I saw this and it reminded me of you" - there are a million ways to show someone without grand gestures. Often, those simple little things are the grandest gestures....the most cherished memories.
A simple letter. I wrote here how I felt I should share with someone the positive impact they had on my life. Never had I imagined that she questioned her value or that she'd made any positive contribution to the life of another. It was one of those moments where the impact my letter had on her, snapped back and impacted me as well......that we should never assume by appearances, actions or assumptions that anyone truly knows how valued they are. When we assume they know just how loved, amazing and valued they are we are withholding blessing from them...... Depriving them of a gift, where we step in and give them a gift that beats the devil back for them and stop the mental momentum that they are completely disposable and wouldn't be missed if they were snuffed out right this moment.
Imagine that moment in a movie where the bad guy is standing just behind a door, gun in hand, facing their next victim. All of a sudden that unknowing person flings open the door, smashing into the bad guy, knocking the gun away and the bad guy out cold. Saving the other person without having even been aware that anything was going on. Without intention, they are a hero. You can be a hero simply by telling someone else, that they are yours.
As people we are much more apt to share with someone when they have offended us, than when they have had a positive impact on us.......when you really stop to think about that....it's kinda twisted. Reproof and correction are necessary for growth in life, I'm not saying it shouldn't be addressed but the balance is what I'm concerned with. Anger and rejection are more often aired out than encouragement and blessing....praise of an other's greatness.
This week wasn't what I expected, it wasn't full of productivity in my home or gardens....instead there was a very active hamster in my head that just wouldn't give up his wheel. His sweat became my tears, his body aches became my heartache. Unfortunately he kept the endorphins for himself and didn't share those. Selfish bugger.
Keeping focused on the positive in all things, the ability to laugh and see the silver lining, the lovely in the disaster.....is an attitude I try so hard to maintain. When the heart aches and the mind reels from the sheer extremes it encounters in a short period of time.....the dizzy spinning makes it hard to maintain focus on any one thing.
This morning I am struck with opportunity. The hustle of morning routine is cut short, no school today means there is only my Mr to send off this morning. As I approached my desk with my big mug of coffee (it's a big mug morning - yes, yes, I know that's more points because it's more dessert than coffee. Stop pooing my parade...I'm trying to be positive here), I noticed the sun shining in the dirty front window and smiled at the highlighted "nose art" the little dogs left behind. Mr called as he pulled out of the driveway because he didn't want me to miss seeing the pair of ducks just sitting in the front yard. From where I sit right now I can see the beautiful pale green of developing leaves emerging on once bare branches. Stuff to smile about.
Growth is usually accompanied by growing pains. Also accompanied by some awkwardness as things slowly find their balance again. Growth is tremendously valuable....as is pain. There are few other things in life that allow us to come along side each other and provide comfort. To be able to say "I understand" as a truth is a comfort that cannot be purchased. To have people not just speak but show you how valuable you are to them, what you have added to their life, is priceless.
Make it a priority in life to both speak and show people how much value they add to your life. Write letters, bring flowers, hugs and words of praise and encouragement. Speaking and showing are both equally important, sometimes verbal words ring hollow but physical efforts - pen to paper, time to write it out, time to choose something that has meaning deeper than appearances, the knowledge of being thought of beyond your use - "I saw this and it reminded me of you" - there are a million ways to show someone without grand gestures. Often, those simple little things are the grandest gestures....the most cherished memories.
A simple letter. I wrote here how I felt I should share with someone the positive impact they had on my life. Never had I imagined that she questioned her value or that she'd made any positive contribution to the life of another. It was one of those moments where the impact my letter had on her, snapped back and impacted me as well......that we should never assume by appearances, actions or assumptions that anyone truly knows how valued they are. When we assume they know just how loved, amazing and valued they are we are withholding blessing from them...... Depriving them of a gift, where we step in and give them a gift that beats the devil back for them and stop the mental momentum that they are completely disposable and wouldn't be missed if they were snuffed out right this moment.
Imagine that moment in a movie where the bad guy is standing just behind a door, gun in hand, facing their next victim. All of a sudden that unknowing person flings open the door, smashing into the bad guy, knocking the gun away and the bad guy out cold. Saving the other person without having even been aware that anything was going on. Without intention, they are a hero. You can be a hero simply by telling someone else, that they are yours.
As people we are much more apt to share with someone when they have offended us, than when they have had a positive impact on us.......when you really stop to think about that....it's kinda twisted. Reproof and correction are necessary for growth in life, I'm not saying it shouldn't be addressed but the balance is what I'm concerned with. Anger and rejection are more often aired out than encouragement and blessing....praise of an other's greatness.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;
a stranger, not your own lips.
Prov. 27:2
Its important to praise goodness. Everyone needs encouragement.....it brings balance to the lies, the negative self talk......the temptations of the enemy to bring us right back to the dirt with him. We need to be quick to praise....quick to see the lovely in those around us.....even when we have to dig deep for it.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
as God in Christ forgave you. Eph. 4:32
Blessings for tender and forgiving hearts this Easter, may He shine through you and on you.
the Mrs.
Monday, March 19, 2012
weigh in monday 20 - fresh start full of opportunity
+1 ridiculous.
Mr's personal challenge has become a family challenge....at least for 3 of us. The Dude has the same shape I do, chicken legs with a round belly over top. He is very into doing things "as a family", that's his phrase. So we've all discussed it and all three of us will participate. I've done some "ideal weight" research for his age/height/gender and he only has about 13lbs to lose to hit his range.
The goal will be 5lb increments to hit a reward. $30 or 1 item - whichever is more - and we shop as a family for said reward to celebrate. The dude will be the only one who can bank his reward to double it at the next 5lbs (there are some spendy Lego sets he has his eye on!).
This is going to be good on so many levels! We will be working as a team and teaching our son about nutrition as we go, finding ways to work out together and defining what true health is BEFORE he hits middle school. I think our language and dieting model has been good, he seems to have a good image of what foods are "healthy" but this will be a whole new interactive level of learning. I'm excited for this. Not just on a "weight"/body image level but the opportunities for conversation and bonding as a family before that season in life where kids start to pull away and feel that they can't talk to their parents.
What a blessing this will be!
We haven't set out time frames or anything but Mr and I will have our goals and Dude will have his, not competing with each other but cheering each other on and encouraging good habits!
It's a good Monday people....even with an extra pound.......I think it's all St Patty's cream puffs by the way...I made them gluten free and they were heaven.....all 800 of them.... Okay maybe not 800 but it sure was close! :)
Blessings to you for setting and achieving your goals!
the Mrs.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
be present
The current moment has a purpose. The current trial, has a purpose. When something is uncomfortable the last thing we seem to want to do is settle into it. God doesn't work the way we do or the way we want Him to.
John 14:27 - "My peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid."
We need to be present in the current moment. To fully engage in the current season instead of wasting it wishing for the next one to start. Paul talked about being content with weakness in 2 Corinthians 12. "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (v. 9) Just prior to this loving answer from the Lord, Paul argues and pleads with Him to remove this pain but recognizes that the pain is humbling him. He uses the word "conceited" twice, in the same verse (7) to describe where his character is going. Pride is so sneaky......but how much more clever is the Lord to know exactly what Paul needed in his life that would heal him from pride. Paul learned to be content with weakness because "when I am weak, then I am strong." (v. 10)
Sometimes it is not our bodies that need healing but something else, something deeper and our bodies are used to heal that other sickness. Hurt, pride, holding on to anger, guilt.....any number of things that hold us back......God sees them and He alone knows how to truly heal them.
I was doing dishes and praying for a sick friend as all this came to mind. I began to sing, as I often do while doing dishes or when I simply run out of words.... I realized that like couples have a song that they call "theirs", reflective of their love.....so do we. Simple words. Deep and true but ones that my heart can sing without any accompaniment. I wondered if other people have a song with Him all their own.... Not just a favorite worship song but that one song that echoes your heart and pours out to Him as your deepest most humble, heartfelt praise.
Blessings of contentment to you, for settling in to His peace in the present moment,
the Mrs.
Blessings of contentment to you, for settling in to His peace in the present moment,
the Mrs.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Think on these things....
Yesterday, as I struggled with the weight of the impending meeting, it was a battle to think of anything else.
The Word tells us "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9) Our emotions get the better of us all too often don't they? We get wrapped up in the fear, pain, or even the joy of an experience and lose all sense of judgement and can't grasp of the reality of the big picture.
I found myself there yesterday.....as was obvious in my post. Each time I tried to share with Him my fears and hesitations about it, my mind would wander off into rehearsing how I would come to my son's defense. Time and again, I would have to come to a stop and realize how pointless the train of thought was.
Stop, turn around.
Start again, move forward and ask for peace. Trust that He has this under control and His plan for my son is better than any dream I could come up with for him.
Breathe. Focus.
As I got ready I pulled out my iPod and selected two songs. Thy Word. and Doxology. I listened and soaked it in.
Then I moved to sit at the new place I've carved out in the house (a "command central for mom" I guess) I knew I needed to stop and refocus. Be still. I looked up at the wall and the neon green post it I put there months ago screamed at me.
Yes. I hear You. You're right. I'm focusing on all the wrong things.
I sat with that a moment. I grabbed my devotional "Morning and Evening" by Charles Spurgeon. I opened it's broken and worn pages and read the entry for Morning. "My Heavenly Father". Sweet reminders in the words of how much He cares and how much more He desires for us. I settled into that for a bit. Then I reopened my Bible to where I'd left off the day before....1 John 2 "Christ Our Advocate" was the heading to that chapter.
I hear You. Okay....I'll stop thinking and start talking. Today I dropped the ball....or maybe more specifically.....I took it from Your more capable hands. I'm no good on my own.....with You I can do anything. I'm sorry. Take it back. I'm Yours. He is Yours. This, is Yours.
I left early to sit in the pickup line. Jesus Culture in the CD player started up with the engine....I hear You.
Opening my book - Practicing His Presence - the next chapter meeting me where I needed "Recalling the wandering mind". The first phrase: "Yours is not an unusual experience." Further on: "If your mind sometimes wanders or withdraws from the Lord, do not be upset or disquieted. Trouble and disquiet serve more to distract the mind further from God than to recollect it."
By the time I entered the meeting I was at peace. When we left I remarked to my husband that it was the very first team meeting (in the 1.5 years our son has been at this school) that was more positive than negative. The very first time I heard genuine comments about how responsible he is, how confident he is....
The Word tells us "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9) Our emotions get the better of us all too often don't they? We get wrapped up in the fear, pain, or even the joy of an experience and lose all sense of judgement and can't grasp of the reality of the big picture.
I found myself there yesterday.....as was obvious in my post. Each time I tried to share with Him my fears and hesitations about it, my mind would wander off into rehearsing how I would come to my son's defense. Time and again, I would have to come to a stop and realize how pointless the train of thought was.
Stop, turn around.
Start again, move forward and ask for peace. Trust that He has this under control and His plan for my son is better than any dream I could come up with for him.
Breathe. Focus.
As I got ready I pulled out my iPod and selected two songs. Thy Word. and Doxology. I listened and soaked it in.
Then I moved to sit at the new place I've carved out in the house (a "command central for mom" I guess) I knew I needed to stop and refocus. Be still. I looked up at the wall and the neon green post it I put there months ago screamed at me.
Yes. I hear You. You're right. I'm focusing on all the wrong things.
I sat with that a moment. I grabbed my devotional "Morning and Evening" by Charles Spurgeon. I opened it's broken and worn pages and read the entry for Morning. "My Heavenly Father". Sweet reminders in the words of how much He cares and how much more He desires for us. I settled into that for a bit. Then I reopened my Bible to where I'd left off the day before....1 John 2 "Christ Our Advocate" was the heading to that chapter.
I hear You. Okay....I'll stop thinking and start talking. Today I dropped the ball....or maybe more specifically.....I took it from Your more capable hands. I'm no good on my own.....with You I can do anything. I'm sorry. Take it back. I'm Yours. He is Yours. This, is Yours.
I left early to sit in the pickup line. Jesus Culture in the CD player started up with the engine....I hear You.
Opening my book - Practicing His Presence - the next chapter meeting me where I needed "Recalling the wandering mind". The first phrase: "Yours is not an unusual experience." Further on: "If your mind sometimes wanders or withdraws from the Lord, do not be upset or disquieted. Trouble and disquiet serve more to distract the mind further from God than to recollect it."
By the time I entered the meeting I was at peace. When we left I remarked to my husband that it was the very first team meeting (in the 1.5 years our son has been at this school) that was more positive than negative. The very first time I heard genuine comments about how responsible he is, how confident he is....
True. Honorable. Just. Pure. Lovely. Commendable. Any excellence...
....anything worthy of praise....
He took care of my heart.....cast away my doubt and fear and reminded me who is really in charge. I praised Him on the way home. Resting in His hand, joyfully.
This morning that post-it drew me in again. Sharing with at least two people....His words not mine.....firmly replanting the reminder in my own mind as I did. Warming my heart that they needed it as much as I did.
Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.
~ Jeremiah 29:12-13
Blessings of deep, abiding love, drawing you nearer to Him,
the Mrs.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
its always the last place you look
Dude! Not only did I get the list checked off, but I managed to make a pot of chili, a pan of chicken and put in a work out that has me groaning each time I try to stand up. It was one heck of a Tuesday!
Finally found my mojo!
That thing seemed to fall off the planet toward the end of fall. I couldn't get the motivation to move at the pace I wanted to. My mind wouldn't think efficiently and I felt like I was sitting down on the job.
My famous lists were ineffective, unfinished or missing in action. Any zest for life was dull and waxy.....more about accomplishing the basics and making sure no one was miserable. Perhaps I set a high standard....but so what. Never do I expect perfection - from myself or others but I've always felt that the ability to improve is endless. "When you know better, do better." When I accomplish a new high, a new level of excellence in any particular task, skill or pursuit of knowledge the first thing I feel is "wow! I'm capable of more than I thought!" which is quickly followed by "if I can do this, then I can do better!" Not because I require challenge. Not because I am unsatisfied with my best. But because complacency leads to laziness.
Is it this way for everyone? When I get too comfortable, too confident in something.....pride rears its ugly head. When my pride rears it is not long before the auto pilot switch is flipped. I become less aware of those around me. I assume more and ask less. I lean on my own understanding more than I lean on His leading. The biggest problem with that is usually, no one calls me on it. No one questions me or forces me to stop in my tracks and really look at where I am standing. In brambles. Off the path and "ahead" of the Lord.....trying to lead instead of follow. I envision Him standing there, hands on His hips with this playful, knowing smile.....waiting to see the moment my expression changes as I have that light-bulb moment of awareness of where I am....
Almost with a chuckle, He acknowledges "Yep, you did it again. Now turn around and come on back." Hand outstretched, smiling at me, loving watching me learn how to course correct...pleased that I don't get quite as far away as I used to.
He doesn't have to come get me anymore. I don't wander so far that I can't see how to get back. Now He patiently waits for me to notice I've gone off track. Always teaching me. Always improving me.....refining me.
Fall found me in the brambles. Confused, weary and feeling completely sucked dry of any goodness at all. Honestly, at times just the thought of having contact with people made me recoil. Already a solitary person, this drove me deeper into quiet solitude. My regular weekday is naturally quiet and fairly void of people but when the weekend arrived, dread would slowly build as Sunday morning approached. Once I got there I would hide as best I could, pretend I didn't see people.....hope they wouldn't see me and maybe, just maybe the Lord would block out the world and it would just be He and I in that pew. .....He doesn't work like that though... I still find myself hiding a bit. Trying to shake off the label and maybe have an identity of my own.....maybe just maybe, at some point, feel a part of the place....at home. Trying to have moments where I say Hi....first. Too often I am unaware that "don't speak unless spoken to" is still ingrained in my behavior.....I am not that child anymore.....but usually I wait, for eye contact, for someone else to make the first move.....giving that silent permission. Adults can speak freely.......but I also have a desire in my heart to listen more than I speak.....when I do speak I often speak too much. Ah, the conundrum of two conflicting intentions!
For now I renew my conversation with Him. I can feel more energy in those conversations with Him now. Before, when my mind and spirit were so tired I didn't know what to say......or what to share. The more I talk with Him the more energy fills me. The more efficient I become. When my mind wanders He draws back my attention and with a quick apology for drifting off we enter back into conversation. At this point my ability to focus on Him is growing but I still spend more time drifting than in focus. Still.....there is a "riding a bike" kind of feeling....in moments of conversation over mindless tasks - when focus is easier - I remember the feeling of being able to be fully aware of Him, conversing with Him in the quiet of my mind, while having a conversation with others. Memories like that spur me on.....and I talk about that with Him.
This week it seems something is different. I have an energy and an active heart again. He reminds me that He is my energy. He is my sufficiency. He is my Light, the love I give, the drive to serve and care for my family. HE is my mojo. Funny how when you lose it, you forget what it really is in the first place. Makes it hard to find when you don't remember what it looks like.
Today I focus on today. I will talk with Him as I go about my business hopefully remembering to write things down as He brings them to mind (He so helps me to be more efficient) or ask Him to remind me...He's good at that too. :) Tomorrow will take care of itself but I will be talking to Him a lot about the Dude's IEP meeting tomorrow. Its time for speech review and any meeting with this group of teachers makes my guts churn. I'll be asking Him to start preparing my heart and mind today....for tomorrow. I'll be talking to Him about doing the same for the teachers and staff involved. .....empty me of any trace of bitterness or resentment....fill me instead with grace and wisdom. Make me soft when my human heart wants to harden for protection.
Blessings of His sweet embrace today, knowing that He bends down to listen to YOU, that He hears and answers your prayers.....no matter how big or small....with His infinitely perfect love.
the Mrs.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
sunday sweetness
Smile on my face all day.
The Lover and Creator of my soul reminded me personally that He doesn't just listen but He hears. Not just my prayers for others but those uttered wishes for myself.
The gift of worship, delivered precisely the way I needed.....asked.
A song, uttered beautifully, from the mouth of a wonderful friend.
Testimony. Perfect assurance. He is providing, working, and knitting together a community of people.....even if I can't personally see or feel it yet. The ones who really need it...do.
The morning felt like a customized gift, just for me. A sweet "I love you".
I relaxed into that. Smile on my lips. Tears in my eyes. Full, warm heart.
It's been a great day. Have I done anything particularly spectacular? Not really. But I worked my buns off just now. Nearly an hour on the treadmill. I don't run. I don't go nearly as fast as others. Generally I top out at 3.5 with my short chicken legs moving with as much rhythm as I can muster without tripping. Then I moved to the wii. Whoever says video games serve no good purpose have not met this machine. I know there are many systems, many games. I have not been introduced to them so I cannot speak to that but I can shout the praise of this.....this new and amazing thing. I got it for Christmas. Gold's Gym. I sweat. No, not that girly "glisten". I'm talkin dripping, I need a towel, kind of sweat. I got the boxing gloves to go with it....cuz basically that's all it is. Boxing.
It's true. When you find something that you connect with and enjoy - go for it! Your workout will be so much more successful. You will WANT to put more into it. Right now......my arms feel like lead as I am trying to type this. I had to stop in, share my beautiful morning......and tell you:
The Lover and Creator of my soul reminded me personally that He doesn't just listen but He hears. Not just my prayers for others but those uttered wishes for myself.
The gift of worship, delivered precisely the way I needed.....asked.
A song, uttered beautifully, from the mouth of a wonderful friend.
Testimony. Perfect assurance. He is providing, working, and knitting together a community of people.....even if I can't personally see or feel it yet. The ones who really need it...do.
The morning felt like a customized gift, just for me. A sweet "I love you".
I relaxed into that. Smile on my lips. Tears in my eyes. Full, warm heart.
It's been a great day. Have I done anything particularly spectacular? Not really. But I worked my buns off just now. Nearly an hour on the treadmill. I don't run. I don't go nearly as fast as others. Generally I top out at 3.5 with my short chicken legs moving with as much rhythm as I can muster without tripping. Then I moved to the wii. Whoever says video games serve no good purpose have not met this machine. I know there are many systems, many games. I have not been introduced to them so I cannot speak to that but I can shout the praise of this.....this new and amazing thing. I got it for Christmas. Gold's Gym. I sweat. No, not that girly "glisten". I'm talkin dripping, I need a towel, kind of sweat. I got the boxing gloves to go with it....cuz basically that's all it is. Boxing.
It's true. When you find something that you connect with and enjoy - go for it! Your workout will be so much more successful. You will WANT to put more into it. Right now......my arms feel like lead as I am trying to type this. I had to stop in, share my beautiful morning......and tell you:
I am seriously excited about weigh in tomorrow.
Excited.
I think it's going to be a good one! I can't wait to see how I did this week.
Also. I wanted to share a post from a blogger that I find inspired and offers pictures of food that will make you lick the screen. Food porn. Plain and simple. Its not all calorie laden, hip exploding, waist expanding gloriousness but also heaps of veggies.....my favorite ones are roasted to beautiful perfection. She has been on the journey to lose. She lost 135 lbs and has the most healthy, well balanced view of food that I've ever encountered. She writes beautifully and has been asked to write a book. Today she answered a letter from a reader about how she handled slipping up on her diet. Go read. Be encouraged and comforted with reality. This girl is wise beyond her years and the way she strings a sentence together is a thing of beauty.
See you tomorrow. Sweet dreams and peaceful sleep.
Blessings of a beautiful, brand new tomorrow and all the hope it offers,
the Mrs.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Contentment in chaos...comes with the simplest choice
Its snowing. FINALLY. Perhaps it wont be the great blizzard I hope for but it's been snowing steadily for several hours and that gives me joy. There is something peaceful about it......the steady, quiet, falling of those flakes is soothing when I am restless.
My mind is on so many different things. IEP meetings at school and how much I greatly dislike them...how small and completely insufficient I feel when I am there. The mystery symptoms of my Dude that have had him feeling crummy more often than well. By God's grace we got into the allergist last night to try and find some help for him. It seemed that all the staff thought humor would put him at ease and cracked jokes instead of explaining the what and why of their actions, tools and procedures....he needed that information more than their humor. His tears of discomfort and lack of understanding put them off guard. I understood it but had a moment where I wished his tears didn't come so easily.....and then felt badly that the thought came at all. I've been defending his ability to show emotion without shame for as long as I can remember....and here it was me who felt that twinge because it was clear that at near 11 they expected him to be tougher...and it made me insecure for the moment.
We left without much answer to why or what has been causing the issues. I clung to the blessing of knowing that "no, it's not his sinuses" is still an answer. Check that off the list of possibilities and narrow the field. Next check, vision screening and wait for blood work.
I find myself remembering when I was a kid, always sick...always. My mother fought for me, always. Mystery illness was no stranger to she and I. Seems our bodies always liked to off the beaten path when something was to go wrong or a side effect to occur. It had to be the rare one....the thing that they wouldn't look for first or even second, third or seventh. I find myself wondering what I'm missing, wondering what she would suggest to do or where to go. Is it simple? Is it something I had and I'm not remembering?
Lists, papers and books surround me right now.
What a mess surrounding that lovely mug of iced coffee. I love that little thrift store find!
As I glanced through my blog roll this morning I stopped in to see what Rhonda at Down To Earth would offer for weekend reading (she already well into her beautiful Aussie weekend I'm sure). Found some good reading and a beautiful nugget to view on a wonderful couple who have created a beautiful self-sustained life on their property. There was a moment where he briefly showed a spot on a wall with an old poster that read: "Happiness is found along the way, not at the end of the road". He said it changed his way of thinking.
It made me smile. It made my heart a bit lighter. Reminded me that in each moment there is joy because He is near me. I made that mug of iced coffee....probably taking more points than I should out of my 26 but this momma has so many goals set.....so many puzzles to figure out that are not the picture kind, so many desires to do and be more....hopes for our home, family....myself. I gave myself permission to take the time (and points) to offer myself a treat and allow Him to calm the chaos as I ponder it out...He never fails to point out the obvious this way with me. Never fails.
Today, I reminded myself of my priorities. God, family (husband first, children second), home, self, everything else falls somewhere after that. The request for a visit this morning was turned down with apologies. No, today I need to restore our home. Restore peace for myself in the midst of chaos so that I can be fully present, fully available, fully attentive to my family. In the process I hope to work side by side with Him to guide my hands and my heart to create a place where He can take center stage and conduct the chaos into order so that I do not allow the minor distractions and to-do's to pull my mind away from Him.
At times in my life I have envied those who fall so easily into "quiet time" with Him. It has never come easily for me, anything resembling "ritual" has always left an unpleasant taste for me. My heart has always longed for any "quiet time" be no different from any other time of day. Remember I said that I wanted to reread Practicing His Presence in the pick up line? A passage I read the other day so beautifully stated how I feel, what I desire to strive for and affirmed my heart....
"I have never been able to regulate my devotion by certain methods, as some do. All bodily mortification and other exercises are useless except as they serve to arrive at union with God by love. I have well considered this and found that the shortest way to God is to go straight to Him by a continual exercise of love and doing all things for His sake." ~Brother Lawrence
Please don't misunderstand, I have enormous respect for those who are able to love this discipline. I do not condemn it or think anything wrong of it. How could I? Jesus Himself took time to go away and be quiet and alone. There in-lies part of the struggle. I know the good possibilities but for me it has been a struggle of obligation, of trying to check a box that somehow marks me as a "good Christian". Success has come for a short time and then faded as the routine blended into something on a to-do list and led to my heart feeling guilty that I was not coming to Him out of love. Never has it brought me the same level intimacy with Him that comes from discussing my heart, my life or someone elses while folding laundry, cleaning or going about my regular business.
It never fails to amuse me how people talk of needing to come to Him or ask Him to join them. Does God ever leave the room? Does He ever wander off? No. If He is Omnipresent then even when we find ourselves wandering off track and into the brambles in the darkness....we only need to turn around because He is there. Light and love, hand outstretched to lead us back to the straight and narrow. Ah, but we smart beings need to make things more complicated than they really are. We need to "search for Him". Goodness....He said He would never leave us nor forsake us. (Paul quotes this in Hebrews 13:5, the Lord's words to Joshua in Joshua 1:5) At the same point, I often let the enemy get the better of my logic and think that I will only achieve that intimacy by some process of discipline. No, silly woman just turn around.
The only "process" is the simplicity of choice in the moment. He is always there, closer than the air I breathe...I merely have to acknowledge Him and intimacy begins.
Blessings of turning moments that bring forth His loving intimacy that both takes your breath away and puts His breath into your very bones,
the Mrs.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Have you told them?
Renee over at What's in an identity asked the question: Who has God put in your life that has made a difference and have you told them?
Immediately one person came to mind. And yes, I have told her.
She watched me before and after school when I was a kid. She cleaned homes for a living and often brought me with on days I didn't have school. She showed me the basics of cooking...not that I picked up on the cooking part much.....it was why she was cooking that stuck with me. She would make huge batches of food and put it in smaller containers. When she went to clean peoples homes, many of the people were older, she cleaned out the fridge and left them meals.
This woman modeled for me what it means to be a christian. She is full of selfless love. She was like a second mother to me. At first I thought she was crazy. In the morning she would bound down the hall in her night gown with a loud cheery "Good Morning GOD!!!" in this joyous sing-song voice. I was dropped off before she woke up for the day, her high school kids would leave the door open when they left for me, and I would go watch cartoons until she got up. On the way to school she would ask me in the car - "Have you talked to God today?"
Now, I was in elementary school.....I think in first and second grade when she started to watch me. It was a christian school but still....this kind of personal "chat with Me" God was not someone I'd been introduced to. God was still in the stories to me but she introduced me to His Person. I watched her and soaked it in quietly. She never preached to me or pushed me....but she lived what she said. She served those who were in need right in front of her, she did what she could with what she had.
Several years ago I wrote her a letter to tell her how she had impacted my life. That her example was a model of what I now, as a grown woman with a husband and children of my own, strive for. I learned more about what I wanted to be when I grew up from watching her than from anything I've ever done in my life.
The Lord used her to plant seeds in my young life that are still growing today. After she received my letter, I found out from one of her daughters that this letter had a profound effect on her. She proudly and tearfully shared the letter with her daughters, her small group and confessed that she thought she'd had no effect on anyone. That she'd done nothing to expand the kingdom. Knowing the effect she had on my life gave her joy and peace. It encouraged her walk.
I was shocked at her response. I was shocked at her self-doubt. This was a lesson I never forgot....when someone is a gift to you....tell them. Tell them how you appreciate them, tell them why and how they have impacted you. Share with them the imprint they have left in your life. Tell them often and tell them well.
Sometimes it doesn't sink in the first time....surprise has a way of dulling your ability to fully appreciate a compliment...some are just too humble to receive it all. If you can't say I love you too much, then you can't tell someone how much you appreciate them too often.
You are appreciated. You are loved. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. ~ Hebrews 10:24-25
Blessings of love and grace,
the Mrs.
Immediately one person came to mind. And yes, I have told her.
She watched me before and after school when I was a kid. She cleaned homes for a living and often brought me with on days I didn't have school. She showed me the basics of cooking...not that I picked up on the cooking part much.....it was why she was cooking that stuck with me. She would make huge batches of food and put it in smaller containers. When she went to clean peoples homes, many of the people were older, she cleaned out the fridge and left them meals.
This woman modeled for me what it means to be a christian. She is full of selfless love. She was like a second mother to me. At first I thought she was crazy. In the morning she would bound down the hall in her night gown with a loud cheery "Good Morning GOD!!!" in this joyous sing-song voice. I was dropped off before she woke up for the day, her high school kids would leave the door open when they left for me, and I would go watch cartoons until she got up. On the way to school she would ask me in the car - "Have you talked to God today?"
Now, I was in elementary school.....I think in first and second grade when she started to watch me. It was a christian school but still....this kind of personal "chat with Me" God was not someone I'd been introduced to. God was still in the stories to me but she introduced me to His Person. I watched her and soaked it in quietly. She never preached to me or pushed me....but she lived what she said. She served those who were in need right in front of her, she did what she could with what she had.
Several years ago I wrote her a letter to tell her how she had impacted my life. That her example was a model of what I now, as a grown woman with a husband and children of my own, strive for. I learned more about what I wanted to be when I grew up from watching her than from anything I've ever done in my life.
The Lord used her to plant seeds in my young life that are still growing today. After she received my letter, I found out from one of her daughters that this letter had a profound effect on her. She proudly and tearfully shared the letter with her daughters, her small group and confessed that she thought she'd had no effect on anyone. That she'd done nothing to expand the kingdom. Knowing the effect she had on my life gave her joy and peace. It encouraged her walk.
I was shocked at her response. I was shocked at her self-doubt. This was a lesson I never forgot....when someone is a gift to you....tell them. Tell them how you appreciate them, tell them why and how they have impacted you. Share with them the imprint they have left in your life. Tell them often and tell them well.
Sometimes it doesn't sink in the first time....surprise has a way of dulling your ability to fully appreciate a compliment...some are just too humble to receive it all. If you can't say I love you too much, then you can't tell someone how much you appreciate them too often.
You are appreciated. You are loved. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. ~ Hebrews 10:24-25
Blessings of love and grace,
the Mrs.
Monday, November 7, 2011
measures of success
So here we are on weigh-in Monday.
I am less excited than I was last week, this is for sure. After sweating on the treadmill and wii boxing every day, counting my points and contemplating their quality, drinking all my fluids and getting in that green tea.....I have a whopping .2 loss.......that I will celebrate and then quickly leave behind.
There are other measures to consider.
Yesterday I looked down......then I smiled. I could not see my belly beyond my boobs.
Pants that once sat in the closet because they didn't fit correctly (one of those 'grabbed from the wrong pile' kind of accidents, a pair of jeans cut for someone with an indentation where a waist should be, something I did not have as I've been all kinds of round in the middle with chicken legs underneath) now.....are worn frequently....but don't fit correctly. They sag and hang loose in all kinds of places....including that waist that was once too tight.
Collarbones, buried from site have made a reappearance.
Thighs are shrinking so that even the jeans that fit, don't hug them as tightly.
My wedding ring is so loose I worry I'll lose it......but my mother's is starting to fit nicely.
Today I put on a size medium hoodie, my mother's, it zipped and wasn't too tight ( I'm not saying I made it look good, but it zipped easily). When I proudly put my hands in the pockets to check myself out.....I found a coin and a tissue left in the pocket the last time she wore it......blessings.
Attitude.....the biggest measure of success so far........seeing -.2 did not discourage me. Disappointed, sure but last week, without setting any crazy rules for myself, I made healthy choices.
I ate more fruit and veggies.
I got my treadmill pace up to 3mph, sustained for 30 minutes.
The effort I put into my work outs made me sweat, like for real sweat not just "glistening" like my mom used to call it.
The physical discipline has encouraged the mental discipline of pursuing the Lord's constant presence. The tension I felt in my spirit is lifting.....our conversations slowly extending in time. Gentle reminders that He is still there when my mind drifts.
My eyes are on next Monday and the next 2 pounds. My heart is happy, I am encouraged and motivated!
Hello -.2, thanks for dropping by! I'll have to leave you behind, I'm on to the next week and the challenge ahead, I've no time to look back if I'm going to charge forward!
C'mon Jesus, lets go!
Blessings of abundant joy to you,
the Mrs.
I am less excited than I was last week, this is for sure. After sweating on the treadmill and wii boxing every day, counting my points and contemplating their quality, drinking all my fluids and getting in that green tea.....I have a whopping .2 loss.......that I will celebrate and then quickly leave behind.
There are other measures to consider.
Yesterday I looked down......then I smiled. I could not see my belly beyond my boobs.
Pants that once sat in the closet because they didn't fit correctly (one of those 'grabbed from the wrong pile' kind of accidents, a pair of jeans cut for someone with an indentation where a waist should be, something I did not have as I've been all kinds of round in the middle with chicken legs underneath) now.....are worn frequently....but don't fit correctly. They sag and hang loose in all kinds of places....including that waist that was once too tight.
Collarbones, buried from site have made a reappearance.
Thighs are shrinking so that even the jeans that fit, don't hug them as tightly.
My wedding ring is so loose I worry I'll lose it......but my mother's is starting to fit nicely.
Today I put on a size medium hoodie, my mother's, it zipped and wasn't too tight ( I'm not saying I made it look good, but it zipped easily). When I proudly put my hands in the pockets to check myself out.....I found a coin and a tissue left in the pocket the last time she wore it......blessings.
Attitude.....the biggest measure of success so far........seeing -.2 did not discourage me. Disappointed, sure but last week, without setting any crazy rules for myself, I made healthy choices.
I ate more fruit and veggies.
I got my treadmill pace up to 3mph, sustained for 30 minutes.
The effort I put into my work outs made me sweat, like for real sweat not just "glistening" like my mom used to call it.
The physical discipline has encouraged the mental discipline of pursuing the Lord's constant presence. The tension I felt in my spirit is lifting.....our conversations slowly extending in time. Gentle reminders that He is still there when my mind drifts.
My eyes are on next Monday and the next 2 pounds. My heart is happy, I am encouraged and motivated!
Hello -.2, thanks for dropping by! I'll have to leave you behind, I'm on to the next week and the challenge ahead, I've no time to look back if I'm going to charge forward!
C'mon Jesus, lets go!
Blessings of abundant joy to you,
the Mrs.
Friday, November 4, 2011
on track
just a quick note
I feel jazzed today.....not as in "jazz hands" though I'm in a mood where I would.
Third day in a row of getting my rear on the treadmill and doing a session of wii boxing. In. A. Row. People. My house is suffering from my divided attention BUT my temple is thriving.
I'm already on my 3rd bottle of water - yep the detox stuff I posted yesterday - and I'm feeling energetic and motivated.
Why is it that after only a short time doing any sort of physical activity you suddenly feel like you are walkin around like superman? "See my new muscles?" I know the changes I feel are not visible yet but I'm glad that I feel motivated. I've caught myself thinking that since I doubled my goal last week I want to bust that one out this week....or on the opposite end that if I don't reach 2lbs it's no biggie because last week was awesome. BOTH ways of thinking are bad...I am trying to remind myself that last week is over. The only goal I am to think about, consider, strive for is this weeks goal 2 lbs. That's it. No comparing or looking back or making excuses. Only this week matters. Eye on the prize!
The only prize I have in mind is to get rid of this gut and recognize myself in the mirror again. Encouragement and striving forward to reach the goal is where my focus must lie. And with that the Lord places this verse on my heart.....
I feel jazzed today.....not as in "jazz hands" though I'm in a mood where I would.
Third day in a row of getting my rear on the treadmill and doing a session of wii boxing. In. A. Row. People. My house is suffering from my divided attention BUT my temple is thriving.
I'm already on my 3rd bottle of water - yep the detox stuff I posted yesterday - and I'm feeling energetic and motivated.
Why is it that after only a short time doing any sort of physical activity you suddenly feel like you are walkin around like superman? "See my new muscles?" I know the changes I feel are not visible yet but I'm glad that I feel motivated. I've caught myself thinking that since I doubled my goal last week I want to bust that one out this week....or on the opposite end that if I don't reach 2lbs it's no biggie because last week was awesome. BOTH ways of thinking are bad...I am trying to remind myself that last week is over. The only goal I am to think about, consider, strive for is this weeks goal 2 lbs. That's it. No comparing or looking back or making excuses. Only this week matters. Eye on the prize!
The only prize I have in mind is to get rid of this gut and recognize myself in the mirror again. Encouragement and striving forward to reach the goal is where my focus must lie. And with that the Lord places this verse on my heart.....
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that isset before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. ~Hebrews 12:1-2
Blessings of persevering energy to you,
the Mrs.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
cuz its good to have goals?
Goal setting does not come naturally to me. I've never had a five year plan or had any sort of aspirations beyond growing in my faith or character.......or growing out my hair (duh, don't cut it. gee that was hard.)
So I've been thinking about how often I've failed at losing weight. How many times I've tried, had success and then as soon as real change it seen...I drop the ball. I get too comfy in that spot and all of a sudden, it starts creeping back on. So as I realized that I lost my happy little "5% lost" star in Weight Watchers - it turned a very sad grey - I realized I need to stop the pattern. I need to find a new way to do this.
I've read all kinds of inspirational stories and they get me all ramped up but that only lasts until the next morning. Then I'm too preoccupied taking care of my family and just doing my daily job. So I started to wonder.....why do I slip? How to I set a new focus, a different one than I've used before? Well....all of a sudden I realized that I don't know how to make a plan to get from point A - choosing the goal, to point B - the goal itself. There are all these in between steps and mini goals that seem so random and cloudy. Other people seem to get the specifics much better than I...who seems to choose the goal, visualize it as a reality and then wander off into the woods without a map.
SO. It's time for a plan.
Since focusing on a long term goal doesn't seem to maintain my attention, I need short term ones. I know, I know, I know all about setting a 1 month goal or a 10 lb goal........weight watchers has those percentage goals....which are awesome....BUT my brain is not registering that. The math or the time frame...whatever it is, it just doesn't have impact. I've been wandering through my week, counting or not counting points and waiting to see how much I will get to record that I've lost that week. Instead I need to set a weekly goal. That is the kind of "short term" I need. Something reachable, something I can actually wrap my brain around and not wait for but work for.
So here's what I came up with (if I've done my math right):
The big picture is 50 lbs lost between October 24th and April 16, 2012. (This does not include any weight I've already lost.)
That's 25 weeks from now - weigh-in days are Mondays.
Which equals a short term goal of 2 lbs lost per week.
Weight watchers says not to lose more than 2 lbs per week for real, sustained, long term loss. So 2lbs is within a safe and realistic zone. I haven't chosen something crazy or beyond my grasp. I have hit 2 lbs twice at this point. So it will give me something to work for and be intentional about - with only one week to focus on it. Then, move on to the next 2 pounds and the next week. I have a little box on every Monday from next week through April 16th to mark out my losses. Our family Christmas celebration happens to fall on a Monday so I have a "midpoint".....well, kind of mid point......goal written in my planner on that day to have hit (at least) 29 lbs total lost since I started - and 18 of the 50. I'm hoping that as the holidays near that gives me extra incentive to stay on track so that I can add this to the celebration that day.
Maybe there should be some sort of midpoint "reward" or celebration but ....I can't think of anything right now. So for now that's the details I've worked out. I'm not adding any extra requirements on myself or putting workouts into my schedule.....once I put too much structure or "rules" on things that's when I start to screw it up. I'm going to let that happen on it's own.
I think that this is something I can actually pull off. Feel free to hold me accountable and ask me whats happening if I don't mention it for too long. It's time to feel comfortable in my skin again and to simply be good to my body and bring it back into a healthy shape.
So far so good this week! Actually I've already surpassed the 2lb goal for the week BUT no counting chickens before they hatch! :)
It's time for one day at a time. I'm working through today, and I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow and Monday when it gets here. I honestly think that the Lord is going to do wonderful things with this journey and will use this in other areas of my life - to grow and nurture me in other ways. I'm excited about the possibilities and to see what is in store.
Love and blessings to you,
the Mrs.
So I've been thinking about how often I've failed at losing weight. How many times I've tried, had success and then as soon as real change it seen...I drop the ball. I get too comfy in that spot and all of a sudden, it starts creeping back on. So as I realized that I lost my happy little "5% lost" star in Weight Watchers - it turned a very sad grey - I realized I need to stop the pattern. I need to find a new way to do this.
I've read all kinds of inspirational stories and they get me all ramped up but that only lasts until the next morning. Then I'm too preoccupied taking care of my family and just doing my daily job. So I started to wonder.....why do I slip? How to I set a new focus, a different one than I've used before? Well....all of a sudden I realized that I don't know how to make a plan to get from point A - choosing the goal, to point B - the goal itself. There are all these in between steps and mini goals that seem so random and cloudy. Other people seem to get the specifics much better than I...who seems to choose the goal, visualize it as a reality and then wander off into the woods without a map.
SO. It's time for a plan.
Since focusing on a long term goal doesn't seem to maintain my attention, I need short term ones. I know, I know, I know all about setting a 1 month goal or a 10 lb goal........weight watchers has those percentage goals....which are awesome....BUT my brain is not registering that. The math or the time frame...whatever it is, it just doesn't have impact. I've been wandering through my week, counting or not counting points and waiting to see how much I will get to record that I've lost that week. Instead I need to set a weekly goal. That is the kind of "short term" I need. Something reachable, something I can actually wrap my brain around and not wait for but work for.
So here's what I came up with (if I've done my math right):
The big picture is 50 lbs lost between October 24th and April 16, 2012. (This does not include any weight I've already lost.)
That's 25 weeks from now - weigh-in days are Mondays.
Which equals a short term goal of 2 lbs lost per week.
Weight watchers says not to lose more than 2 lbs per week for real, sustained, long term loss. So 2lbs is within a safe and realistic zone. I haven't chosen something crazy or beyond my grasp. I have hit 2 lbs twice at this point. So it will give me something to work for and be intentional about - with only one week to focus on it. Then, move on to the next 2 pounds and the next week. I have a little box on every Monday from next week through April 16th to mark out my losses. Our family Christmas celebration happens to fall on a Monday so I have a "midpoint".....well, kind of mid point......goal written in my planner on that day to have hit (at least) 29 lbs total lost since I started - and 18 of the 50. I'm hoping that as the holidays near that gives me extra incentive to stay on track so that I can add this to the celebration that day.
Maybe there should be some sort of midpoint "reward" or celebration but ....I can't think of anything right now. So for now that's the details I've worked out. I'm not adding any extra requirements on myself or putting workouts into my schedule.....once I put too much structure or "rules" on things that's when I start to screw it up. I'm going to let that happen on it's own.
I think that this is something I can actually pull off. Feel free to hold me accountable and ask me whats happening if I don't mention it for too long. It's time to feel comfortable in my skin again and to simply be good to my body and bring it back into a healthy shape.
So far so good this week! Actually I've already surpassed the 2lb goal for the week BUT no counting chickens before they hatch! :)
It's time for one day at a time. I'm working through today, and I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow and Monday when it gets here. I honestly think that the Lord is going to do wonderful things with this journey and will use this in other areas of my life - to grow and nurture me in other ways. I'm excited about the possibilities and to see what is in store.
Love and blessings to you,
the Mrs.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
When the burn of insignificance lingers.....
Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap,
they have neither storehouse nor barn,
and yet God feeds them.
Of how much more value are you than the birds!
Luke 12:24
As the Father has loved Me,
so have I loved you.
Abide in My love.
John 15:9
Can a woman forget her nursing child,
and not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
yet I will not forget you.
See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.
You walls are continually before Me.
Is. 49:15-16
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Ps 147:3
I love those who love Me,
and those who seek Me diligently will find Me.
Prov. 8:17
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never let the righteous fall.
Ps. 33:22
I am your Creator.
You were in My care even before you were born.
Is 44:2
Draw close to God and God will draw close to you.
James 4:8
No mere man has ever seen, hear or even imagined what wonderful things
God has ready for those who love the Lord.
1 Cor. 2:9
Because the Lord is my Shepherd,
I have everything I need.
Ps. 23:1
Be still,
and know
that I am God.
Ps. 46:10
For the Lord God is living among you. He is a mighty Savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With His love, He will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Zeph. 3:17
For God has said, I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.
Heb. 13:5
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
He rises up to show you compassion.
Is. 30:18
The Lord will fight for you and you have only to be silent.
Ex. 14:14
My soul thirsts for You.
Ps. 143:6
You O Lord are a shield for me.
Ps. 33:3
To the world you may be one, but to One you are the world.
Blessings,
the Mrs.
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