Best seat in the house.

We are merging into a whole new era in life.  I could feel it coming but I didn't know it would be quite so quick.  Our Wonderteen has been in her teen adventure for a while now, full of challenges and searching out her identity in life.  She constantly impresses me and I love how our relationship is evolving as she grows and matures.  The Dude though.....is morphing in the fastest most surprising way.

Today is "graduation" day.....from 5th grade.....essentially from elementary school.  Next year is middle school. There is this whole other level of "graduating" happening underneath all of the obvious stuff.  As the end of the year approaches its like he is transforming before our eyes.....from a little boy to a young man.  There are lots of little things we are noticing that are totally surprising us that seem totally out of his norm - but in good ways. Here's the kicker though.....now that he is too old to be a participant in Sunday school at church, he wants to volunteer to help out with the younger kids and he asked if he could get a job at the farm behind our house.

The Dude is 11 years old.  He wants a job.  A real job.  He wants to volunteer.   

This graduation from 5th grade is morphing from some cheesy little graduation ceremony for the kids into something so much deeper....he's graduating from being a "little kid".  End scene.  

Enter....a young man.  I'm not a mom who hates to see her kids grow up and wants them to stay little.  I love it all.  I love every year they get older.  I love every new season in their lives and development into who they will become.  It is one of the most exciting things I could be a part of as a human being, let alone as a mother.  Now, with our second child....it's time to start walking next to him.  Letting him take a bit of the lead, helping him detach the apron strings and gain his footing as he slowly merges into this new era in life.  As parents it's time to start taking our hands off the wheel and letting him try steering a bit more.  It's time to guide and counsel him through decisions as he starts to learn to make them on his own.  

This young man is merging out of his norm, showing more grown up interests and being more adventurous.  Whatever we expect him to do or say at this point needs to be thrown out the window.....it's time to watch and see.  Its a front row seat to creation happening right here, right now, in all its mind-blowing amazingness.

Happy Graduation day Son.  You impress me more than I have words to express.  I have the best seat in the house for the best show on earth.

Blessings to you for an unobstructed view of the amazingness in your life.

the Mrs.

forced perspective

How many times have you heard someone grieving a lost loved one say: "Appreciate the time you have. Hug your loved ones and don't take time for granted."?  

We've all heard it a million times.  We hug and love and a short time later....forget.  Because we don't know, we don't have that force and necessity to realize that each and every moment should be taken in because it's the only one, just like that one.  Eventually we all become the person who preaches to others to appreciate every single moment, because we didn't.

What if we knew, not the day or the hour or even the month, but a general sense of how much time we had with someone?  What if there was an awareness that 1, 2, 10 or even 20 years was all there was left?  Would we waste it in fear of the last moment or would we pay more attention in the little moments?  

Would we love more deeply?  

Would we tell them more often what we love about them?  

Would we wish for more time to "get more done"?

Would we get less done to spend more time differently?

Would we love more extravagantly?

Would we give more?

Would we take less?

Would we receive more easily?

Would we be more patient?

Would we be more helpful?

Would we be more kind?

Would we be more intentional with our words and actions?

Would we spoil them more?

Would we re-categorize what is really important? 

Would we be angry less?

Would we laugh more easily?

Would we blame less?

Would we apologize more?

Would we address misunderstanding with more grace?

Would we be more fun?

Would we work less?

Would we smile more?

Would we desire things less?

Would we desire time and touch more?

Would we be more creative in our expressions of love?

Would we ask for more, or less, of the people around us? 

Would we listen and hear more clearly what they say...and what they mean?

Would we concentrate more on the needs of others?

Would we concentrate on our own needs less?

Would we create a legacy worth remembering?

Would we create a legacy worth teaching?

What would be important to us if we truly understood what today was and wasn't?  Would our priorities be arranged differently?  Would we waste our time worrying that we are wasting our time?  Or would we simply slow down and have a greater appreciation for all the little things?

The conundrum is this: Some would receive knowing how much time is left as a gift and would focus on what they could do for others in the time that was left.  Others would receive knowing with fear and dread, they would live out the rest of their time using the end as an excuse to be self focused.  There are vast positions in-between those extremes where some would fall into place but I think those two would comprise the majority.

So if this kind of information would change our perspective for the positive, why can we not change our perspective without it?  If not knowing means we might waste today having no idea that tomorrow we will kiss the grill of a bus.....why then does not knowing make love and time less urgent?  It seems illogical that this not knowing gives us this strange false confidence that our time here is infinite.  It's strange to really think about how unaware we are of our choices.  We love and woo so deeply when first we fall in love because we know that a lack of effort might bring that "end date" more quickly than we'd like.  Later however, things change...fade.  We start holding more tightly to grievances instead of each other.  We overlook blessings in our lives, straining for the things we desire that are just out of reach. Why does not knowing not wake us up? 

Just something I've been pondering lately.  Watching how people love each other....and how they don't.  Wondering what it takes to change a person's focus, their perspective of time, effort, life...their circumstances and relationships.   

Is it better to know, or not to know? 

Don't be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time.

~Matt. 6:34

I can't help but think that Jesus modeled this for us.  This man, all divine and all human, completely connected to His Father in heaven.  He knew the limits of His time here, He warned people He wouldn't be around to forever touch and hug.  They didn't hear Him.  I wonder if they had truly understood what He was telling them, if they would have spent their time with Him differently.  Would they have paid closer attention?  Would they have hugged and laughed more?  Would they have poured out perfume on Him themselves, instead of looking at it as a waste?  Would they have recognized how the God of the universe chose to spend His 33 years here?  Would they have seen that He chose to spend His last 3 with them? Would they have fallen asleep during His last moments, His prayers, tears and urging to stay awake? What was that like for Him? To know and know they didn't have a clue.  Someday it will be amazing to sit at His feet and listen to the stories.....though I suspect, sitting at His feet, I may not care about those questions anymore.

Blessings of easy, over-exposed love and a perspective on life that is beautifully unforced.

the Mrs.

Whats cookin?

Cooking ahead has been one of my latest endeavors.  Make it easy to have as many ingredients at the tips of your fingers for the healthiest choices to happen....right?  It's always when we are hungry and our brains are all "ohhhh, I don't know.....YOU pick!" that things run a muck and what could have been a healthy meal becomes pastry or chocolate or whatever you might pull out of a box or bag that you didn't make yourself.

So I gave up meat a while ago right?  Started to feel even better.   ...funny how you don't realize that you can feel better until you do....  So then I watched all those food documentaries....Food Matters and Fat Sick and Nearly Dead. I also watched Engine 2 Kitchen Makeover recently and have been seeing stuff about this diet (in terms of nutrition lifestyle not "I'm going to do this for a few months to lose weight" diet) that this Texas firefighter has written about and researched in test groups.  Go figure that he's the son of the doctor who conducted the China Study mentioned in Forks Over Knives.  He and his family have been eating this way for years and he has lived and intimately known the benefits.  So he is sharing what he knows in very practical down to earth terms.

I feel like I kind of fell into it naturally.  Processed food has been out for quite some time. I took meat out a few months ago. Quit the coffee and gradually ended up reducing dairy to the point where I kinda don't need or miss it - except for those few drops in my black tea...mmmm.

So here I am, eating "plant strong" and feeling better than I realized that I didn't feel.  My energy has started to return and my mind seems clearer, sharper than it has in a long, long time.  I am so much more productive...its kinda crazy.  Though most of my productivity has been in the kitchen.  I don't quite have this cooking ahead thing down to a smooth science yet.....in terms of planning exactly what I'm going to make and thinking ahead about how much of it I'm going to make.  So I've spent about 3 days in the kitchen this week.  I'm trying to expand my cooking horizon.  Its really learning all over again.  It didn't take much thought to just throw things together before but now....for now....it takes time to really think about not only what to cook but how to cook it.  I'm the only one in the house that is skipping the animal products....so that means I need to make sure that the rest of the family has things that are appealing to them.  Dude hates beans....unless its a green one, his nose is turned up in the most disgusted manner at just the sight of them.  Mr has been fine but is oh so tired of the mexican themed food.   Generally that spice palate is incredibly easy to throw together and I love it.

I've been avoiding the whole label of "Vegan".  Cuz I'm not.  "Vegan" has this more political, environmentalist, fist shaking, yoga doing, save the animals and don't eat anything that casts a shadow, hippy vibe about it.....that it's way more than just about food nutrition.  I'm not a vegan, I just eat like one.  I love my leather boots and I love the leather jackets that I hope to fit back into by fall.  I believe that the cutest of farm animals are generally the tastiest and bacon is still meat candy and I'm sure I will forever call every pig I see, Bacon.   But my body functions better with a vegan diet.  My mind actually works better on a vegan diet...that in and of itself is the greatest blessing.  I still have pain issues and probably always will.  To think...clearly and freely is something that so many people take for granted.  While my brain will never return to the beauty it was at 15 before my car accident, it is a true source of joy to be aware enough, clear enough, to realize that I AM thinking more clearly and quickly.  What a gift the Lord has given us in FOOD!

Clean, God designed, natural food.  For that reason, I will promote eating this way.  Think of the canary that miners brought into the tunnels with them.  The bird was tiny and oh so sensitive to unclean air.  If that bird dropped over they knew they needed to get out of there.  Think of me as the canary in the tunnel of the food world.  Stick to the good stuff.

So what have I been making while spending all this time in the kitchen?

Grilling up tons of peppers and onions.

Peppers and onions have become a wonderful staple.  They grill up and keep so well.  I chop them a bit smaller and put them on rice, salads (who needs dressing with that kind of flavor?), wraps and sandwiches.  

Method: chop peppers and onions of choice (I used green bell and a combo of red and sweet yellow onion),  place a big sheet of heavy aluminum foil on the grill (enough to fold in half so its double layered), lightly spray with olive oil spray or your favorite spray oil to help with sticking, sprinkle with salt and pepper, garlic powder (crushed garlic tends to burn really easily).  If you want to add more zip, try chili powder, chipotle powder, oregano and squeeze a lime over the top near the end.  SO YUM.

Pico de Gallo

Fresh chopped tomatoes, green pepper, jalapeno, cilantro, onion, lemon/lime juice and a bit of salt. SO good!  Put that on salads, wraps and rice bowls.  So fresh, so good, we run out so quickly!

Veggie burgers.

Not something I thought I'd like but wanted to try.  I know that I can't eat the processed ones from the store so I found a recipe...where else but on Pinterest.  These are so easy and so good.  The original recipe calls for what else but chili powder and a mexican flavor.  The first time I made them I followed the directions.  The second time I changed the seasoning a bit and used, garlic, onion, thyme and parsley (all dried). It was wonderful!  Smelled like meatloaf even before I cooked them! YUM.

I have made Vegan Enchiladas with sweet potato and black beans that I am totally in love with. Sorry no pictures.  Make them, you too will fall in love.  I honestly have yet to make the avocado cream sauce simply because I can't get past the amazing filling to even think that it could get any better.  BUT here's a tip: inside your enchiladas, put a little brown rice, some of those grilled peppers and onions and the enchilada filling....and die happy....and healthy. :)

This week I made Banana Oatmeal Cookies to have for breakfast. My alteration was to use diced prunes instead of raisins and I added walnuts. Again, awesomeness. SO yummy and the crunch of the walnut is the perfect addition.  

Last week I even tried non-dairy frozen banana based ice cream.  It turned out wonderful and creamy.  I made strawberry.  I think this could be tweaked to suit your individual sweet tooth and the flavor changed in many ways.  

There are still SO many things to try!  Its all so exciting and a tad overwhelming at the same time but when you feel this good - and over 4lbs falls off without doing a dang thing to make it happen - it is amazingly worth it.  In time I know that I'll figure out a new rhythm and not have to spend so much time in the kitchen. Until then....I think I'll be there a lot.  I really need to find things that Mr will like and mix flavors up a bit for him.  As of now he's not joining me in this Engine 2, vegan, no animals in my food diet adventure BUT he has said "if you make it, I'll eat it".  He loved the enchiladas by the way.  Apparently he forgot there was no meat in them until I reminded him....they are that good.

Have a wonderfully long weekend and I'll keep you up to date on how this is going.  I can't believe there are only 2 weeks left of school....I'm not sure I'm prepared for summer yet!

Blessings for a luxuriously long recharging weekend, filled with memories and fun!

the Mrs.

"You've ruined me!"

My teenage daughter tells me this all the time.

It may be the highest compliment I receive.

"No ones banana bread is as good as yours!  I hate guacamole - but I LOVE yours!  I hate baked beans - but I LOVE yours!!  You've ruined me!"  She says to me...more than once a month.  

Recently I was making something totally new....I don't remember what it was now....but I was on the phone with her and telling her I was nervous it would be totally gross.  "It can't be YOU are making it, it will be awesome."  If you find planet wonderful - this is where my kids are from.  Seriously.

This weekend is her Sweet 16 party.  BBQ, Bonfire, girls sleeping over in the big tent and in the morning.....a mockery of all things "Sweet 16" has been made to be.   They will be getting themselves totally fanified and beautiful in the twirliest of dresses.....to go bowling.  Just one reason we call her WonderTeen.  She is brilliant, beautiful and hilarious all in one.

And all this falls right during the "Great Purge of 2012"......I am crazy.  Driven there by the messes and the sweetest of requests to make all her favorite "you've ruined me" things.  The Purge is on pause.  The house certainly better for how far we've come but priorities are priorities, right?   This week I am cleaning and putting things back together, cleaning up the purged messes, sending donations with the hubby to drop off after work.  

Today is baking day.  Raspberry Lemonade tartlets.  English toffee.   My famous baked beans.  3 kinds of muffins for breakfast.   I think I'm forgetting something.....oh, guacamole will be made fresh on Friday.  Right now it smells of toffee in the house......

So yummy!

Lots of foody things are happening here.  I'll share next week when I have more time.

Til then....

Blessings of abundant awareness of all the treats He prepares for you, 

the Mrs.

Breaking up....it's not me, it's you...

Coffee.  I love it....hot or cold but doctored into creamy sweet submission.  It is a delight to the senses of sight, smell and taste.  I think I'd drink it all day if I could....and not get fat or incredibly jittery.

Yet, we've been "on a break".  Last week I altered my coffee consumption.  A cup one day, none the next.  Reason?  Attempting to see if my physical and mental function is affected by the delicious nectar.  Pain and discomfort has been loitering around more than usual.  My brain running at a slower pace and the afternoon crash has been hitting harder.  So I felt prompted to experiment....with a potential break up.  "Time apart to evaluate".

The conclusion?  Yeah.....coffee, while oh so smooth and suave, smelling wonderful and oh so sweet.....isn't good for me.  It doesn't enhance my thinking or even allow me to maintain the way I thought it did.   It slows me down, adds too many calories and pushes me into a foggy, but tasty, swirl of thought.

On the days we didn't speak but merely passed in the kitchen as it went out the door with my husband....I found I felt clearer, more steady and certainly more productive in my day.  On the days we started together, I was off track, unproductive, more distracted, oh so tired and all together not my best.

So last week was every other day.  This week, so far, only the sip needed to taste if Mr's cooler has been mixed right.  That's it.

Coffee.....I'm glad we can be civil but I'm breaking up with you......for your cousin, tea.  It's not me, it's you...perhaps it's in your processing or just in your nature.  You just aren't good for me.

Green tea, black tea, lemon water, detox water or a combination of green, lemon and detox.  Black tea to replace coffee and it takes less than half the cream and vanilla syrup to revive the memory of coffee.  A way to not feel totally deprived of something so yummy.  Yet, my brain still feels clear and no crash.

The next step in the experiment...how long will it take before I see the full effect of this break up?  

In other foody news.....I spent all day in the kitchen yesterday.  The refrigerator was cleaned, veggies were chopped and food was cooked.  A huge amount of peppers and onions were cooked for fajitas, and entire chicken was roasted and shredded for the boys, cilantro lime rice was made, cumin spiced black beans were sauteed, fresh pico de gallo was made and avocado, red cabbage and cilantro was chopped.  Today I'll be peeling and cutting up several apples and seeing what else I can think of doing.  Ease of use was my thought.  Need more plants and when they are easy and quick, they get eaten.  When they get eaten in large doses, I feel better.

So....breaking up wasn't so hard to do.  Not like I thought.  No headaches....cravings yes...but no headaches or crabbiness like so many people talk about.  Not too shabby.

Blessings to you for clarity to see all the wonder of life and the brilliance in who and what you are,
the Mrs.

Making memories

The Drive-in is a near extinct experience.  There are not too many left.....in our state maybe only 3-4.
Its sad that one day the drive-in will only exist in history books.

There is one about an hour from us here. Its very family oriented, no movies over PG-13, pets welcome, bring your own food and you can even bring a small propane grill to make dinner!  I've seen people bring folding tables and chairs and serve dinner out of a crock pot.  We've brought dinner in a crock pot ourselves a time or two. It's like a small community that sets up for just a few hours.  If someone bigger than you arrives and blocks your view, you can pack up and move a spot or two to clear your view.

We make a real point to go several times during the summer. Sure we could show up, find an available spot and watch the movie sitting in our car....but....that's not what we do.  We pack the car like we are leaving for the weekend.  Lawn chairs, cooler, bug spray, blankets, speakers, bags of treats, games.....STUFF.

Sit in the car? Noooo.....not us.

We arrive near the time the gates open so we can pick a good spot, away from lights, near the bathrooms.  The car is backed into the chosen spot, tailgate open and layered with blankets and cushions for the kids.  A cooler is packed with beverages, fruit, candy and whatever baked treats I came up with.  Mr and I sit in our lawn chairs with the kids old toddler ones in front of us as foot rests.  This year we may even have an extra speaker hooked up to put on the ground in front of us to enhance the sound. Blankets and sweatshirts come out as the air gets chilly and everyone slowly gets doused in bug spray.  If the night is clear, we point out shooting stars and that the refinery off in the distance looks like a sparkling crystal city.....which is so opposite of what it is.  But at night, from far away, it is beautiful.

Its always at least a double feature.  This weekend it's the Avengers and Mission Impossible.  Great combo!  Lots of adventure and explody scenes on the huge screen!  Most often the night ends with me waking up to realize I didn't see 70% of the second movie and giggles that mom was snoring.  The kids fall asleep in the back and we don't arrive back home until near 3am.  We all fall into bed exhausted but having had the best night.

Saturday night will be this years first venture out for what looks to be this drive-in's last season.  Memories in the making.  One day when the kids are grown we'll be telling their kids about how we used to drive far away just to watch movies outside.

Hopefully the weather will cooperate this weekend.  We are all excited about the first trip out.  I'm baking like crazy so we have fun treats.  I'm not telling what though cuz I know my Mr will be reading and the surprise will be ruined. :)

Blessings to you for a multitude of memory making opportunities,
the Mrs.

efficient dream

The easy flow of a rhythmic routine.

The steadiness of moving from one task to another.

Knowing the timing of your day.

These are just a few things I would love to be in my day.  I want one day to be able to move through the tasks of keeping my home without thought because they are like the blood in my veins...a part of me that requires no conscious thought.   Learning and modifying, adapting to changes and new awareness of how things work best in our season of life, my day, my issues.

Don't accuse me of striving for perfection....not true.   I strive for improved.  "Good, better, best"....when I know better I want to do better and I will only do that by trying.  Its like anything you want to improve upon, you must practice - but not to be perfect....to do your best.   I don't feel I do my best.  I am the picture of inefficiency.  I flit from task to task, often leaving the last unfinished....not intentionally.  I am excellent at making lists and horrible at following them.

I dream of the day where I can meander through my day on auto pilot, merging from task to task easily and without thought.  Loving what I do, even if my head is under the toilet.  To feel the easy rhythm of a finely tuned routine and be interrupted without a surge of panic that things won't get done....but to welcome the interruption with open arms as the most important thing in that moment.

Today, I decided that coffee would be taken from my menu.  Gasp, I know, I am too.  Currently my brain feels as though it's in a tub of water and someone has carelessly bumped it quite hard.  Yep....it feels a bit sloshy....maybe that's not a proper word but I'm going to use it anyway.  It fits.  I decided that since there is really nothing really redeeming about coffee...from a nutritional stand point.....especially considering that I can't seem to stand it without loads of coffee syrup and cream......perhaps I should try tea again.  It is so good for you.....maybe I'll see some benefit either in clarity of thought or in removing that mid afternoon slump.  It's worth a try anyway.  

Underwater blessings to you for a clear and efficient day,
the Mrs.

a different monday.....a break to reboot and rekindle

Time for a switch.  I think I've been taking mental multitasking to a whole new level.....at least for me.  I need to slow it down and cut a few things out.  I determined that I'm taking a vacation from weight-loss.

What does that mean?  No counting.  No treadmill - unless I have a genuine desire to....but lets be real, it's unlikely to happen.  No pressure.   My LIFE is about paying attention to food, what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, how it makes me feel, what ingredients have changed and how I need to counteract it all.  It's a full time job all on its own. I think I need to step away so I can return with a refreshed desire for the goal.  The family challenge that we set about a month ago is off.  No one was really taking it seriously and it didn't have the motivational desire we thought it would.  Mr is going to continue to do his own thing and keep going.

I'm still going to weigh in every Monday like I have for the last year.  I'm not going to report it here for now though.   I'm still going to be watching what I eat and how much but I'm going to be focusing in a bit more on the balance of plants to grains....less of the white food and more of the colorful stuff.

Yesterday I watched "Food Matters" and "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"  and rebooted my attitude with food and why I need to be vigilant about what I eat.  Along with my attitude, my passion was rebooted.  I think that is something we all need from time to time.  We can get into a rut with our routines and the monotony of our own normalcy.  The shine and the passion can dull a bit bringing the need to go back to the roots, the beginnings of why we do what we do.  Renewal is good.  I really don't have a choice about how I eat, but I have a choice about how I look at it....what my attitude is.  These were excellent films on their own but they were especially good reminders for me.  A rekindling of the passion and joy that is found in eating natural whole foods and squelching the feeling of it being work.

My attention is needed in more important areas than my waistline. The Great Purge of 2012 must go on as well as the reorganizing that needs attending to.  As our family merges into a new era of life, its time to re-evaluate the efficiency of all the areas in our home so we can move into the next season ready to take on all the new challenges it may offer.  The Dude has his room re-do coming up - now that colors have finally been chosen.  We are in the very early stages of planning a screen porch build on the back patio....we will be building it with the generous help of friends time and energy.  We are planning a sweet 16 birthday party for our WonderTeen and there is just so much family goodness going on in all these things.

For now, this season, my focus is on slowing down.  Doing what I do with intention and joy. Purging not just our home of clutter, but my mind of hurry and life of excess.  Loving the process and the people it's all for.

While "weight-loss" and I may be on a break, I think I'll have lots of other things to chat about.

Blessings of a slowed down love bringing you back to your roots,
the Mrs.

weigh in monday - where oh where has the determination gone?

+.6.....I could use the excuse that I didn't get on the treadmill last night because my pelvis appears to not want to play nicely with the rest of my body and walking would not have helped.   BUT if I'd lost what I should have during the week then yesterday shouldn't have made a difference.

What happened to determination?  Not just mine either.  No one in this house appears to be taking losing weight seriously anymore.  No one is counting or watching the clock, making sure we don't eat past a certain time.  When did simply not gaining become praiseworthy?  This is silly!  We had goals!  We were motivated and determined!  Now there seems to be this slacker attitude that the minimum effort is good enough.  TWO POUNDS used to be the goal for ONE WEEK.....now, oh well that it's taken a month to lose that with the yo-yo weigh ins.  

This team needs a cranky coach to yell and put us in our lazy places.  BENCHED!  Though...technically that would defeat our particular purpose...

It seems to be a weird season right now....filled with milestones, full calendars and an abundance to be thoughtful about.  Spring simply won't fully emerge here and I've yet to start even one seed.  Our beautiful daughter is going to be sweet 16 one week from today - the party is delayed due to a crazy weekend calendar but still it needs planning.  As I dropped off our son this morning, I realized that the end of my driving him to elementary school was in sight....middle school is ahead.  Mr has been working like a mad man and putting in all sorts of crazy hours just trying to keep up.  There is our shift from "Home for now" to "this IS our home" and lists are being made for the various modifications, repairs and improvements that we'd like to accomplish...eventually (thanks to pinterest we have some visual aids).  First, we must decide what we can and want to accomplish this year.  I'm sure it will take years to get through the list but taking it out in manageable chunks each year will help.  We are purging the house like crazy...already about 4 storage tubs are filled.  SO proud of the kids for parting with things instead of hoarding their possessions.  It's the Dude's year for a bedroom remodel, WonderTeen had her's for her 10th birthday and now it's his turn. I love the idea of a more grown up room at those pivotal growing seasons - creating an environment with them that reflects who they are and can grow with them.   Softball season is starting for Mr, and there is golf league too.  A garden project at church.  Holidays and birthdays for important people coming up....

I'm sure there is more.....for goodness sake no wonder I can't concentrate on anything.  My brain doesn't know how to juggle!  Time for some serious lists and organizing.  Some delegating too.

Determination - I need you and your buddies energy and motivation to move in and kick some rears into gear!

Guess I'd better get to it!

Blessings of determined successes to you,
the Mrs

beginning the great purge of 2012

Storage tubs are set out upstairs and down.  I've begun.

Funny thing is, I am seeing my perspective change.  Things I've kept because they were someone else's....but don't hold a true purpose...don't hold meaning anymore.  Now, they are space invaders.  I also found my first "didn't remember I had that" treasure.  A pretty set of antique silver in a silverware chest that I'd thought was empty.  I'm guessing they have been in that box for 10 years.  It was a set of my grandmothers that my mother gave me when I came to help her purge her own home....she died a few short months later.

Since making the decision that this will be our forever home, I've got lots of things I want to do.  Not many are very big but would make a big impact.  As I drive past "for sale" signs on some of my favorite roads, that familiar thought to look up the property when I get home hits....but it's followed with a "why?"  I have had to remind myself I'm not going to move.  Then I laugh. 


"Temporary" seems to be the way people live now.  We live in homes "for now" until we find one that is bigger and "better".  We purchase things in disposable containers, we buy things because they are temporary and we won't have to do anything with them later.  Cars aren't driven until they die, only until the cool factor does.  Clothes are not worn until they are no longer useful but until they are out of style.  Everything is temporary.  Our appliances are built to be replaced, so are our cars and clothes, dishes and furniture.  The sole purpose of the things that are produced now is to fail after a short time so they can be purchased again.

It's disturbing.

I began to realize just how that had gotten into my head.  That I'd never thought of anywhere we'd lived....I'd lived....as a permanent residence.  It didn't occur to me that I wouldn't move again.  There were things I did and didn't do with our home because of that very fact.  There is resale to consider and why put in extra work on something if you won't be the benefactor?   I'm seeing it all very different now.  It feels different.  Maybe because this is my workplace and my home.  Perhaps it's a stage in life, a marker that each of us hits at some point and it isn't at all unique to my experience.

Whatever it is, I like it.  Home seems to have a bit of a different ring to it.

Blessings to you for new joy in the old stuff,
the Mrs.

It

whooops....

I don't know if anyone noticed that I didn't post yesterday.....but I didn't.

Sorry.  I was distracted by attempting to be more productive and efficient with my time because I have noticed that my work has been slipping.  That kind of thing is always terrifically highlighted with the impending arrival of visitors.   Though my awareness was there already but.....magnified by the fact that people would actually be here.  With kids.  And helping my hubby to fix things we have no idea how to fix.....which means closing doors and keeping the lights off won't do the trick this time.   

Since downsizing our cable package to only one box (the DVR must be saved) the basement doesn't get used so much.  It had become a catchall for random things that just weren't used or needed a halfway house before they were donated.  It feels nice to walk through now and it looks like our house again.  

I've made myself some lists.  Things I need to reorganize, rooms, cupboards, closets....areas that have been neglected and "caught" too many items waiting for a final home.  I use to pride myself of the efficiency of how I ran the house.  I'm not sure where I lost that but I am determined to find it again.  It's time to purge and simplify this home we've decided will be the place we stay.  We won't be moving again.   We came to the conclusion that by the time the market turned around or we were able to right-side-up our mortgage, the kids would more than likely be out of the house (or close to it) and it would just be us anyway.  We don't need more space and I would have a hard time leaving my kitchen and garden.  

I'm slowly working my way through Rhonda's book, savoring each morsel and at just the right moment, when I was pondering what our future plans might be, I read this: "Let me be very clear about this: buying a simple home that is within your budget and can be modified to suit you and your family is the best investment."  There was a tremendous amount of wisdom to be found after that too but the logic here was beyond argument.  Stay put and modify where you already are.  

I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.

Phil. 4:12-13

Its interesting to start looking around - for the first time - and have to remind myself that we can make changes and not think about how it will affect "resale value" because we are settling in.  This place is ours to shape and change to what suits US.  Its a really comforting feeling.

Perhaps just what I needed to reignite my motivation in my work.

Here's yesterdays weigh in details:

A whopping -.2 but a loss is a loss right!  The whole family lost, which is good but collectively the three of us lost 1 whole pound.  That is rather sad.  I think motivation has taken a vacation.   We need to call it back home!

Blessings of warmth and springy blossomy goodness to you, 

the Mrs

weigh in monday 24...?- who's really counting anymore anyway?

Lemon tartlets.....I blame you.   +1   I am not the only one who gained though.....we ALL did!  I'm fairly certain it's my fault though because dessert was basically what we all gorged on.  I made lemon tartlets in muffin tins, banana bread and cream puffs.   Yeah....it was yummy.

We did however go for a walk last night on the nature trails by our home and went about 4 miles.   I think out of everyone I probably got the most physical activity out of that because Dude was on his bike and Mr is tall as all get out.  So in order for me to simply walk next to his lanky handsome self, I need to double time my steps.  He is 1'3 taller than I am.  Yes, I am short....but even more so - he is just crazy tall at 6'6.   Anyway, so he pushed me a bit and we even jogged for a tiny bit, I was able to keep up with him too!  Granted....he was probably going slow, for him.  Ah well.

Guess we all need our rears kicked into gear because the penalty jar is eating way too much cash.

Starve the jar......that needs to be our motto.

Blessings to you this day for joy and productivity!
the Mrs.

a Good Friday indeed

Some times, more than others, the clear markers of beginnings and endings are more welcome.   Mondays and Fridays are clear markers of time for me.  Weekends just kinda float around, hovering like a cloud of pretend vacation.  They are an entity all their own...filled with both recovery and preparation.

This week wasn't what I expected, it wasn't full of productivity in my home or gardens....instead there was a very active hamster in my head that just wouldn't give up his wheel.   His sweat became my tears, his body aches became my heartache. Unfortunately he kept the endorphins for himself and didn't share those.  Selfish bugger.

Keeping focused on the positive in all things, the ability to laugh and see the silver lining, the lovely in the disaster.....is an attitude I try so hard to maintain.  When the heart aches and the mind reels from the sheer extremes it encounters in a short period of time.....the dizzy spinning makes it hard to maintain focus on any one thing.

This morning I am struck with opportunity.  The hustle of morning routine is cut short, no school today means there is only my Mr to send off this morning.   As I approached my desk with my big mug of coffee (it's a big mug morning - yes, yes, I know that's more points because it's more dessert than coffee. Stop pooing my parade...I'm trying to be positive here), I noticed the sun shining in the dirty front window and smiled at the highlighted "nose art" the little dogs left behind.  Mr called as he pulled out of the driveway because he didn't want me to miss seeing the pair of ducks just sitting in the front yard.  From where I sit right now I can see the beautiful pale green of developing leaves emerging on once bare branches.  Stuff to smile about.

Growth is usually accompanied by growing pains.  Also accompanied by some awkwardness as things slowly find their balance again.  Growth is tremendously valuable....as is pain.  There are few other things in life that allow us to come along side each other and provide comfort.  To be able to say "I understand" as a truth is a comfort that cannot be purchased.  To have people not just speak but show you how valuable you are to them, what you have added to their life, is priceless.

Make it a priority in life to both speak and show people how much value they add to your life.  Write letters, bring flowers, hugs and words of praise and encouragement. Speaking and showing are both equally important, sometimes verbal words ring hollow but physical efforts - pen to paper, time to write it out, time to choose something that has meaning deeper than appearances, the knowledge of being thought of beyond your use - "I saw this and it reminded me of you" - there are a million ways to show someone without grand gestures.  Often, those simple little things are the grandest gestures....the most cherished memories.

A simple letter.  I wrote here how I felt I should share with someone the positive impact they had on my life. Never had I imagined that she questioned her value or that she'd made any positive contribution to the life of another.   It was one of those moments where the impact my letter had on her, snapped back and impacted me as well......that we should never assume by appearances, actions or assumptions that anyone truly knows how valued they are.   When we assume they know just how loved, amazing and valued they are we are withholding blessing from them......  Depriving them of a gift, where we step in and give them a gift that beats the devil back for them and stop the mental momentum that they are completely disposable and wouldn't be missed if they were snuffed out right this moment.
Imagine that moment in a movie where the bad guy is standing just behind a door, gun in hand, facing their next victim.  All of a sudden that unknowing person flings open the door, smashing into the bad guy, knocking the gun away and the bad guy out cold.  Saving the other person without having even been aware that anything was going on.  Without intention, they are a hero.  You can be a hero simply by telling someone else, that they are yours.
As people we are much more apt to share with someone when they have offended us, than when they have had a positive impact on us.......when you really stop to think about that....it's kinda twisted.   Reproof and correction are necessary for growth in life, I'm not saying it shouldn't be addressed but the balance is what I'm concerned with.   Anger and rejection are more often aired out than encouragement and blessing....praise of an other's greatness.  

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;

a stranger, not your own lips.

Prov. 27:2

Its important to praise goodness.  Everyone needs encouragement.....it brings balance to the lies, the negative self talk......the temptations of the enemy to bring us right back to the dirt with him.  We need to be quick to praise....quick to see the lovely in those around us.....even when we have to dig deep for it.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

as God in Christ forgave you.  Eph. 4:32

Blessings for tender and forgiving hearts this Easter, may He shine through you and on you.

the Mrs.

Stripped

Have you ever felt so stripped of value by people that you had a hard time shaking the feeling?

Been around people who at one time thought so highly of you that they would call at all hours just to receive advice or comfort from you.....then, as if some alternate reality took over....it seems that any words you speak need correction because they must be wrong?

The sheer extremes of it so boggle my mind each and every time it takes me days to attempt to disengage my emotion from it.  A fact I do not like to admit.  My value and self worth is not wrapped up in the opinions of others....especially those who reject me so deeply......but yet, it still hurts.  If I had done something to deserve such disdain (if I have I do not have a clue what it is) it might be easier to accept something I deserve.  If it had been swift and direct, that too might be easier to process.  The slow push, the gradual process of watching people back away, change how they speak to you and to feel the process of being devalued, unneeded, unworthy....unloved.....by a group of people you poured yourself into for so long.....I admit, it leaves a wound easily reopened.

The positives abound but the emotions of it.....are just a little harder to shut down.  To be so looked down on by a stranger would not be a blip on the radar but to be so looked down on by people who were so close....

My request is that He shows me the value in the hurt.  That He reveals areas where I need to change and if I simply need more grace to give, that He teaches me to do that.  If my value is too found in the eyes of others, rather than Him, that He reveals that and shows me how to correct it.  All experience has value, even this.

Look for a lovely thing and you will find it.

Blessings for an abundance of lovely among the thorns, 

the Mrs.

weigh in monday 22? - I'm starting to lose track....

Today's weigh in was stellar......compared the last, well, several.  -2.4   I feel like I'm back on the wagon.

It was an intense week of way too heavy things to process and it knocked the funny right out of me.  In fact I am exhausted.

Though....I am in desperate need of shorts to cover up my chicken legs.....or uncover them...  I get way to hot to wear pants when it's like 60 degrees out.  Though the interesting revelation is that my hypothesis may be correct.

The more weight I drop the more likely I am to wear something skirty, dress-like or feminine in a non frilly kind of way.   I need to work on this front pouch and it's flattening.  The trouble with carrying all your weight in one area is that eventually you are a bit like an impractical kangaroo......you've got the pouch but it's completely useless without an opening.   Kinda like those suit coat pockets they sew shut, they're just for looks......but.....the opposite.   Cuz this don't look good.

Anyhooo........time to rifle through my pin boards looking for ways to "flatten that tummy", "get rid of that pooch" and etc.

Currently I don't believe there is enough caffeine in the world to keep my eyes open.  I'm looking forward to sleep but there is just too much to do.

In other news.....my calendar is taunting me.....the original deadline for my goal are right there with the flip of the page.   No way to make it now unless its surgically removed or God removes it......preferably while I sleep Lord, I know You are reading.

Blessings for an amazing week and perspectives that point out all the good bits in every situation,
the Mrs.