words

"the teaching of kindness is on her tongue"  Prov.31:26


My mommy heart aches just a little to be able to hold the child of my heart ~ but not my womb ~ in my arms.  To have difficult conversations, to hold your child accountable to their words and actions.....and then have to walk away....leaving them with your words, hugs, love and forgiveness.....but not your presence....is hard.


The Lord has been impressing on me deeply that I need to be aware of my words.  My tone.  My face....it can screw up my words.....their intentions and inflection mean something different coming from a sour face.


What I don't say in my silence carries as much weight as the words I choose to make audible.   


"...train yourself for Godliness..." 1 Tim. 4:7


It is quite the workout to be disciplining myself to be aware of my tone, my expression and editing my words to reflect kindness, gentleness, respect and honor to Mr ~which includes {but is not limited to} not interrupting him {seriously this is such a huge flaw I have....I interrupt everyone when they talk, for fear that I will forget what I have to say...and the reason is best left for another time}, not making disapproving faces when he talks {my face has a life of it's own, by the way}, being careful not to contradict him in a way that invalidates or overrides what he says.


All day I was trying to keep my mind in scripture that would keep me from faltering.


"The one who gives an answer before he listens ~ this is foolishness and disgrace for him." Prov. 18:13


"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips!"  Ps. 141:3


I said "I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth as with a muzzle!"   Ps 39:1

Training is hard work.  It must be intentional.   It must be consistent and constant.  Environment contributes to our training....garbage in -> garbage out.   Part of my training is monitoring who and what I am listening to.  Are they examples of what I am training toward or trying to discipline out of me?   Listen to their tone.  Watch their face.   Really hear their words....are they wise?  Are they kind?  Encouraging, gentle, authentic, sarcastic, harsh, negative.....godly?   Can I picture Jesus saying what they are saying with the same expression and tone?   .....would that be holding them to too high a standard??  Unfair to that person?  No.


If it is what I am commanded to aspire to then it is not unfair.   It is part of training.   I don't mean to say that I am eliminating all people from my life who have not perfected their Christ-likeness......I'd be one lonely person.  But just like if I was training for a marathon I'd need to watch what I ate.....I'd need to carefully read labels.    So I'm trying to read the nutrition labels of the people around me.   Is what they are feeding me full of nutrition, goodness and fruits of the spirit?    OR......are there lesser quality fillers being fed to me that do not fill me up with the life giving qualities that spur me forward instead of planting seeds of doubt or even bitterness.  


My sarcasm comes quite naturally, thank you very much.  I do not need that part of me fed.   Frankly that monster needs to go on a diet. 


I'm trying to be aware.   I'm trying to be purposeful about keeping my filters clean and sifting through the noise of life.


I'm in training.  Goal number 1:  Refine thought and speech by daily reading His Word.


Blessings to you on the journey, the Mrs.