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Monday, February 20, 2012

weigh in Monday 16 - just swell

I'm not headed in the right direction.  A gain of 2 this week is not encouraging.

There are some mystery issues happening though and one of them is swelling...this may be playing a part.  For the last month I've woken up with swollen hands.  They've woken me up during the night aching and gradually I've ended up where I am right now which is swollen and having pain in both arms.  Initially I thought perhaps I'd consumed something or done a bit too much boxing and that was causing the hand issue.  But now I'm struggling shoulder to fingertips so that means something is being eaten.  ANY thing that could cause pain, also causes bloating and weight gain for me.

Ordinarily I would put in a good 2 hours on the treadmill on Sunday night while Mr plays volleyball, instead I opted for a movie under the covers of a warm, heated bed (oh how I love a heated mattress pad!).

So this week I'm going to eliminate anything with vinegar.  It's on my list of no, no's but in small doses only causes a bit of gut trouble.  So I made myself a list of vinegar containing things I may not eat this week: Ketchup, mustard, salsa (NOOOOO, this has become a daily staple to flavor wraps, sandwiches and replaced salad dressing), mayo, pickles, guac singles and BBQ sauce (not that I eat bbq often now that I'm not eating meat but it is good to dip some cheeses in).   I'll watch my salt intake as well, just in case.

Hopefully the vinegar is the issue.....well, I don't actually "hope", I did just buy a bunch of salsa for the pantry but at the very least I can make my own in the future and add some plants to my garden list.   This week my focus needs to be drinking LOTS of detox water, green tea and sweating on the treadmill as much as I can to get whatever is in my system, OUT.   By the end of the week I hope to be able to pull the cheese drawer open with my left arm without gasping from the pain.

Ceaseless moments
Such is life!  These are merely the details.  It does provide a topic of conversation between He and I and this morning I did have to apologize for a pain inspired inappropriate word uttered in the silence of my own mind....He does hear and see all.   I find the weekends hardest to hold His presence firmly in my mind.  More people, noise, things to do and distract the mind.   I am a weak minded person to begin with - meaning that maintaining focus on any one thing is a struggle for me - when I am having a reaction of some sort a mental component always comes with.  A slowing down and drowsiness that creeps in so slowly that I don't notice my mind isn't as sharp.   Yesterday morning in church, just before service, it got my full attention.  A friend sat behind me and asked how the week was, I so struggled to find words that her initial response was to think the week had been bad.  Honestly I just couldn't find words and was a bit confused for a moment.  Pain struck during service and raising my hands in praise was not part of worship, holding my pen to take notes wasn't really worth the discomfort. But He and I had our words and the songs were lyrically focused to Him instead of about Him.  I appreciate these songs more in worship.

Blessings are only shallowly hidden. My mind is mushy from whatever it is, the pain becomes a blessing.....like a light guiding you through dense fog, twinges of pain clear the mind for a moment, getting my attention and helping me to focus in again....on Him, not the pain.   While I cannot report success for long periods of time yet, I can say that the frequency of my attention is increasing.  This is good.

Blessings to you for an uncovering of their abundance in your life,
the Mrs.

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