help arrived

Sometimes all the little stresses snowball into something big and overwhelming.  They get tangled and jumbled up together, hard to tell where one issue starts and another one ends....more menacing and powerful than if they just lined up nicely as individuals.   Seems they like to attack on just the right days...the weak ones.

Mr knows that sometimes the calendar creeps up on me.  It and some deep part of my mind or spirit get together and have things timed.  Often I am not even aware of the collaboration until I am reacting, feeling, the anniversary.   It's funny how it happens....in an ironic, questioning my sanity, kind of way....I start noticing that tears come more easily and for things that ordinarily wouldn't trigger them.  I start wondering if somehow I've completely lost track of time and the PMS monster has arrived...when I realize that it hasn't I then wonder some more.

Mr stayed home with me yesterday.  He knows me well.  Staying home to help me catch up around the house, cross things off my list....might seem like something small but to me it is huge.  Clutter got cleared, things got cleaned, donated and delivered.  Discussions and decisions made.....weights lifted.  I still feel gloomy, tired, and the weather we've had is not helping.  ALL the snow is gone, it's been rainy and yucky out.  No trace of sun - though there was a tiny moment this morning when it showed its radiant face...hoping we get more snow soon.

There was also a glimpse into how some days it's hard to get things done.  One extra phone call can change the overall productivity of the whole day because there is a guarantee that I will have one excessively long call in my day.   No matter how good, wanted, filling and nurturing a second call is.....there is little I can do while on the phone.  Due to the nature of my brain injury, any distraction means I have no idea what the person on the phone said.  So often, if I'm on the phone, I need to just sit and participate, listen actively and focus.  Mr got to witness this yesterday - I'm not much of a phone person and if I do take a call it is always during the day - less distractions and it is quiet - so for him to see me on the phone is rare.

Today I'll be trying to get more done around here....the main goal is to actually get on the treadmill.  I haven't been in the last 3 days.   That's the longest I've gone in more than a month or so, I think.  That's going to make it really tough to hit that 2.9......but we'll see.  I'm heading off to help a friend this afternoon and sit with her twins - one of which is our god-daughter - so she can run some errands and get out of the house.  They are just the cutest girls and such good babies!

I have 45 minutes until phone call time.....I must go run....or at least walk fast on the treadmill.

Blessings for joyful productivity in your day,
the Mrs.