After a long week of stressing out, grieving my mother's birthday and......well, lets face it....emotional eating. I am less surprised and more disappointed in myself for having achieved a +.4 this week.
Yuck. + is ugly.
BUT we don't focus on failure here, mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow, not to dwell on the negative. It is only .4 and I didn't go back up into the 70's. That is a GOOD THING.
So.....what have I learned this week? When I'm feeling bummed and overwhelmed at the same time....I gravitate toward eating.....salty, crunchy and sweet comforting foods. Mentally, I start to check out and not think about the goal, the big picture. The prime time for cheating....when I spend too much time alone and there is no one to witness....then it didn't happen. Actually if I'm really honest....it's when Mr isn't home. "If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around, does it make a sound?"
Confession: I had chips and salsa several times, guac too - no measuring or counting. I ate candy and pretended I didn't. I didn't drink enough water and not nearly enough fruit. I didn't track my points more than 50% of this last week and I only got on the treadmill 2-3 times and for less time than I would normally.
I know exactly what went wrong. Now, I need to apply it to this coming week. I need to get organized and make sure I have some safety nets, meals planned so I don't have to think. This time of year gets a tad crazy....Mr says I tend to get overwhelmed by whatever area it is I think I'm falling short in. The season of "busy", preparing and planning, combined with the lingering emptiness of a missed loved one....apparently puts me in a tender and easily overwhelmed place this time of year.
Just one more thing that makes me love that man abundantly. Even when I am not aware, he is paying attention and trying to piece together what my needs are, even when I am not aware I am in need. LOVE him.
So, this week.....no, TODAY.....I need to spend time making lists. What to do, what to prepare and what to eat.....It's preparation day. Time to set up boarders and safety nets. The more unburdened my mind is the better I do.
And this is a week my mind should be unburdened. This should be a week of dwelling on my Savior. Pondering His birth, His choice to come here to this little blue ball He created (and we messed up), to be one of us. To be among us. To feel and be like one of us and show us how things could be. It is a week that should be filled with anticipation for my Lord and Love....as every day should be.....but its Christmas....a time when the world participates in celebrating the King of Kings and even if they deny Him.....they are at the party. They can't fight it or hide it and if they are participating in Christmas at all.....they're still at the party. Maybe on the outskirts, perhaps the wall flowers but they are watching us. Live your witness to Him who saved you.....and they will see.
Blessings to you for a week of preparation.....for holidays, for life, for love, for Him,