whooops....

I don't know if anyone noticed that I didn't post yesterday.....but I didn't.

Sorry.  I was distracted by attempting to be more productive and efficient with my time because I have noticed that my work has been slipping.  That kind of thing is always terrifically highlighted with the impending arrival of visitors.   Though my awareness was there already but.....magnified by the fact that people would actually be here.  With kids.  And helping my hubby to fix things we have no idea how to fix.....which means closing doors and keeping the lights off won't do the trick this time.   

Since downsizing our cable package to only one box (the DVR must be saved) the basement doesn't get used so much.  It had become a catchall for random things that just weren't used or needed a halfway house before they were donated.  It feels nice to walk through now and it looks like our house again.  

I've made myself some lists.  Things I need to reorganize, rooms, cupboards, closets....areas that have been neglected and "caught" too many items waiting for a final home.  I use to pride myself of the efficiency of how I ran the house.  I'm not sure where I lost that but I am determined to find it again.  It's time to purge and simplify this home we've decided will be the place we stay.  We won't be moving again.   We came to the conclusion that by the time the market turned around or we were able to right-side-up our mortgage, the kids would more than likely be out of the house (or close to it) and it would just be us anyway.  We don't need more space and I would have a hard time leaving my kitchen and garden.  

I'm slowly working my way through Rhonda's book, savoring each morsel and at just the right moment, when I was pondering what our future plans might be, I read this: "Let me be very clear about this: buying a simple home that is within your budget and can be modified to suit you and your family is the best investment."  There was a tremendous amount of wisdom to be found after that too but the logic here was beyond argument.  Stay put and modify where you already are.  

I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.

Phil. 4:12-13

Its interesting to start looking around - for the first time - and have to remind myself that we can make changes and not think about how it will affect "resale value" because we are settling in.  This place is ours to shape and change to what suits US.  Its a really comforting feeling.

Perhaps just what I needed to reignite my motivation in my work.

Here's yesterdays weigh in details:

A whopping -.2 but a loss is a loss right!  The whole family lost, which is good but collectively the three of us lost 1 whole pound.  That is rather sad.  I think motivation has taken a vacation.   We need to call it back home!

Blessings of warmth and springy blossomy goodness to you, 

the Mrs

weigh in monday 24...?- who's really counting anymore anyway?

Lemon tartlets.....I blame you.   +1   I am not the only one who gained though.....we ALL did!  I'm fairly certain it's my fault though because dessert was basically what we all gorged on.  I made lemon tartlets in muffin tins, banana bread and cream puffs.   Yeah....it was yummy.

We did however go for a walk last night on the nature trails by our home and went about 4 miles.   I think out of everyone I probably got the most physical activity out of that because Dude was on his bike and Mr is tall as all get out.  So in order for me to simply walk next to his lanky handsome self, I need to double time my steps.  He is 1'3 taller than I am.  Yes, I am short....but even more so - he is just crazy tall at 6'6.   Anyway, so he pushed me a bit and we even jogged for a tiny bit, I was able to keep up with him too!  Granted....he was probably going slow, for him.  Ah well.

Guess we all need our rears kicked into gear because the penalty jar is eating way too much cash.

Starve the jar......that needs to be our motto.

Blessings to you this day for joy and productivity!
the Mrs.

a Good Friday indeed

Some times, more than others, the clear markers of beginnings and endings are more welcome.   Mondays and Fridays are clear markers of time for me.  Weekends just kinda float around, hovering like a cloud of pretend vacation.  They are an entity all their own...filled with both recovery and preparation.

This week wasn't what I expected, it wasn't full of productivity in my home or gardens....instead there was a very active hamster in my head that just wouldn't give up his wheel.   His sweat became my tears, his body aches became my heartache. Unfortunately he kept the endorphins for himself and didn't share those.  Selfish bugger.

Keeping focused on the positive in all things, the ability to laugh and see the silver lining, the lovely in the disaster.....is an attitude I try so hard to maintain.  When the heart aches and the mind reels from the sheer extremes it encounters in a short period of time.....the dizzy spinning makes it hard to maintain focus on any one thing.

This morning I am struck with opportunity.  The hustle of morning routine is cut short, no school today means there is only my Mr to send off this morning.   As I approached my desk with my big mug of coffee (it's a big mug morning - yes, yes, I know that's more points because it's more dessert than coffee. Stop pooing my parade...I'm trying to be positive here), I noticed the sun shining in the dirty front window and smiled at the highlighted "nose art" the little dogs left behind.  Mr called as he pulled out of the driveway because he didn't want me to miss seeing the pair of ducks just sitting in the front yard.  From where I sit right now I can see the beautiful pale green of developing leaves emerging on once bare branches.  Stuff to smile about.

Growth is usually accompanied by growing pains.  Also accompanied by some awkwardness as things slowly find their balance again.  Growth is tremendously valuable....as is pain.  There are few other things in life that allow us to come along side each other and provide comfort.  To be able to say "I understand" as a truth is a comfort that cannot be purchased.  To have people not just speak but show you how valuable you are to them, what you have added to their life, is priceless.

Make it a priority in life to both speak and show people how much value they add to your life.  Write letters, bring flowers, hugs and words of praise and encouragement. Speaking and showing are both equally important, sometimes verbal words ring hollow but physical efforts - pen to paper, time to write it out, time to choose something that has meaning deeper than appearances, the knowledge of being thought of beyond your use - "I saw this and it reminded me of you" - there are a million ways to show someone without grand gestures.  Often, those simple little things are the grandest gestures....the most cherished memories.

A simple letter.  I wrote here how I felt I should share with someone the positive impact they had on my life. Never had I imagined that she questioned her value or that she'd made any positive contribution to the life of another.   It was one of those moments where the impact my letter had on her, snapped back and impacted me as well......that we should never assume by appearances, actions or assumptions that anyone truly knows how valued they are.   When we assume they know just how loved, amazing and valued they are we are withholding blessing from them......  Depriving them of a gift, where we step in and give them a gift that beats the devil back for them and stop the mental momentum that they are completely disposable and wouldn't be missed if they were snuffed out right this moment.
Imagine that moment in a movie where the bad guy is standing just behind a door, gun in hand, facing their next victim.  All of a sudden that unknowing person flings open the door, smashing into the bad guy, knocking the gun away and the bad guy out cold.  Saving the other person without having even been aware that anything was going on.  Without intention, they are a hero.  You can be a hero simply by telling someone else, that they are yours.
As people we are much more apt to share with someone when they have offended us, than when they have had a positive impact on us.......when you really stop to think about that....it's kinda twisted.   Reproof and correction are necessary for growth in life, I'm not saying it shouldn't be addressed but the balance is what I'm concerned with.   Anger and rejection are more often aired out than encouragement and blessing....praise of an other's greatness.  

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;

a stranger, not your own lips.

Prov. 27:2

Its important to praise goodness.  Everyone needs encouragement.....it brings balance to the lies, the negative self talk......the temptations of the enemy to bring us right back to the dirt with him.  We need to be quick to praise....quick to see the lovely in those around us.....even when we have to dig deep for it.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

as God in Christ forgave you.  Eph. 4:32

Blessings for tender and forgiving hearts this Easter, may He shine through you and on you.

the Mrs.

Stripped

Have you ever felt so stripped of value by people that you had a hard time shaking the feeling?

Been around people who at one time thought so highly of you that they would call at all hours just to receive advice or comfort from you.....then, as if some alternate reality took over....it seems that any words you speak need correction because they must be wrong?

The sheer extremes of it so boggle my mind each and every time it takes me days to attempt to disengage my emotion from it.  A fact I do not like to admit.  My value and self worth is not wrapped up in the opinions of others....especially those who reject me so deeply......but yet, it still hurts.  If I had done something to deserve such disdain (if I have I do not have a clue what it is) it might be easier to accept something I deserve.  If it had been swift and direct, that too might be easier to process.  The slow push, the gradual process of watching people back away, change how they speak to you and to feel the process of being devalued, unneeded, unworthy....unloved.....by a group of people you poured yourself into for so long.....I admit, it leaves a wound easily reopened.

The positives abound but the emotions of it.....are just a little harder to shut down.  To be so looked down on by a stranger would not be a blip on the radar but to be so looked down on by people who were so close....

My request is that He shows me the value in the hurt.  That He reveals areas where I need to change and if I simply need more grace to give, that He teaches me to do that.  If my value is too found in the eyes of others, rather than Him, that He reveals that and shows me how to correct it.  All experience has value, even this.

Look for a lovely thing and you will find it.

Blessings for an abundance of lovely among the thorns, 

the Mrs.

weigh in monday 22? - I'm starting to lose track....

Today's weigh in was stellar......compared the last, well, several.  -2.4   I feel like I'm back on the wagon.

It was an intense week of way too heavy things to process and it knocked the funny right out of me.  In fact I am exhausted.

Though....I am in desperate need of shorts to cover up my chicken legs.....or uncover them...  I get way to hot to wear pants when it's like 60 degrees out.  Though the interesting revelation is that my hypothesis may be correct.

The more weight I drop the more likely I am to wear something skirty, dress-like or feminine in a non frilly kind of way.   I need to work on this front pouch and it's flattening.  The trouble with carrying all your weight in one area is that eventually you are a bit like an impractical kangaroo......you've got the pouch but it's completely useless without an opening.   Kinda like those suit coat pockets they sew shut, they're just for looks......but.....the opposite.   Cuz this don't look good.

Anyhooo........time to rifle through my pin boards looking for ways to "flatten that tummy", "get rid of that pooch" and etc.

Currently I don't believe there is enough caffeine in the world to keep my eyes open.  I'm looking forward to sleep but there is just too much to do.

In other news.....my calendar is taunting me.....the original deadline for my goal are right there with the flip of the page.   No way to make it now unless its surgically removed or God removes it......preferably while I sleep Lord, I know You are reading.

Blessings for an amazing week and perspectives that point out all the good bits in every situation,
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 21 - 5 bucks

+.6   yeah.....not exactly wanting to write this post today.  BUT transparency and accountability need to go hand in hand to do their work.  Right?

Today is a day that weighs heavy in more than one way.....a final meeting with the school, test results and recommendations, if any.   I have been wound so tight about this meeting for so long (since before Christmas) that I'm not sure I recall being unwound anymore.  What I desire to do this afternoon and what I need to do are very different things.

What I would love to do is march in there and tell them to keep their "findings" to themselves and any suggestions they have, they can shove.  My boy is fine, happy, content and doing very well in life.....in every one's eyes but their tiny little group.  He is not required to fit into their box.

What I know I need to do is pray all day that I will listen more than I speak, that I will be slow to anger, that I will understand what they say - especially since they choose to speak in a way that assumes I speak their teacher language - that I will not cry and be all emotional because yes - AGAIN - the meeting is right when my "femininity" chooses to arrive with bags of hormones. (Funny story - this meeting was first scheduled to happen nearly 2 weeks ago but within 48 hours of being scheduled it was changed...twice.  It's like they were trying to calculate my cycle - for maximum effect - and the original estimation was off....you did indeed calculate correctly the last time.  Thanks.  I mean what would a meeting be with me as a normal, not overly hormonal, person? We will never know....) I need to remember that while these meetings are so heavy, negative and draining to me as a mom......it doesn't mean that the outcome will be.

I've found comfort in that other mom's feel the same dread, weight and negativity attached to these meetings even when the anticipated outcome is positive.  Deconstructing your child in this way is just plain unpleasant.  Knowing others feel this same build up of yuck helps me to feel a little less "crazy mom".  

I feel as rainy and gross as the weather outside today.

5 bucks needs to go into the jar.....guess I need to make that jar now.  Awesome.

Blessings for the weight you carry to be lifted from your shoulders today,
the Mrs.

Thanks

It appears that 1,000 views has come and gone.

Like I said.....I'm not sure what a blogger does with that but I thank you for reading - whoever you are, where ever you are in the world.

The blogs of others have touched my heart and taught me so much.  A mere 5 of those 1,001 views chose to hit the "follow me" button.....or whatever that thing says.  Whether you choose that or not.....I can only hope that if you come here regularly, you find encouragement....something real, honest and transparent.

Just one woman muddling her way through life, trying to do it right....falling down a lot......but always looking to my Savior to get me through.

May the Lord bless you richly with His presence,
Many thanks,
the Mrs.

a simple life

Things from generations before me have always drawn me to them like a magnet.   There is something comforting about them.   They carry with them the sentiments of a simpler time when things moved slower.  They drew you into relationship with others instead of distracting and drawing you out into the world. Manners were important, grace and appreciation were found in easy abundance.  Pride in ones work and respect for an other's wasn't hard to come by.  Doing something well, instead of fast, was not something to think twice about.

Mr teases my Donna Reed dream sometimes (though even she might be more modern than the lifestyle I'm drawn to).  Not with malice but with love.  I take it as a sign of success.  What I'm trying to accomplish in our home is working and it helps me to keep going.

A simple life.  One where convenience isn't a priority.  Food is made from scratch, things are used and taken care of so they can be reused instead of disposed of.  Home is a place where people matter more than the things, a bowl can be broken - forgiveness served with a smile - and help with the mess received.  A life where attitude and character count more than money or grades.   Effort is applauded in successes so the focus is on the person and not the object of accomplishment.

We live in a world where a fancy phone is so impressive people covet whatever the new model is but a beautiful sunset is shrugged off.   They are one of a kind, never repeated, never seen again.  I hope, with enough time, to teach my family that a spectacular sunset is worth stopping for.....worth attracting their attention.  Gadgets come and go but the deep and true things in life are what is worth paying attention to.  

This life of simplicity that I slowly try to weave into our normal existence goes so far beyond the antique "outdated" ways......it is the substance that flows underneath.  Quality over quantity not just with things but with relationships.   Building an atmosphere to nurture the spirit as well as the body....a place so stable and unwavering it embraces and accepts all who enter, touching them so deeply they are changed when they leave.   Home is so much more than a structure.   Home is a safe haven, a recharging station, a place where we grow, contemplate who we are, what we have learned and where we discover our innermost identity.

A home that is clean and tidy can be welcoming and inviting, to the mind as well as the body, but there is a line that can be crossed.  When the focus moves too intently on the things in the home or some image that must be portrayed.  When people feel they cannot sit anywhere or that they are too low to be in the space, that line has been crossed.  Making a home is an art, an act of love and learning that takes trying and failing.  You need to make a mess of some things before you can learn to make them truly beautiful.

Simplifying life leaves more room to experience it, to love those who are in it.  Our homes, like our souls, need to be purged now and again to get rid of the useless things we hang on to.   Clutter is so much more than visual chaos.   Often it represents something deeper.....things from our past that we've not addressed.  Hurt we cling to so we can use it as a weapon when we feel threatened.  Or a mark of having become complacent...too easily overlooking things that need attention......being blind to the obvious or simple laziness.

Personally I find that my home often represents where I am internally.   When my home is in chaos, often, so am I.  When our home is cluttered, so is my mind.  I think many people are that way, in that their space is reflective of where they are inside, but not everyone identifies the connection.  

I can identify several areas where I've been slipping in my home.  I struggle to maintain a schedule that I know keeps me efficient.   It's a process after all.   Not a perfect one and it doesn't look or feel the same for any two people but we must make the effort.  It is worth the effort.   They are worth the effort.

The wise woman builds her house but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

Prov. 14:1

Blessings to you for all the richness of a simple, un-distracted life.

the Mrs.

a brief ponder....

I just noticed I'm approaching 1000 views.

Not exactly sure how excited I should get.....while still thinking that it's pretty darn cool.   What does one do when they reach such a number?  A little dance?  Buy myself something pretty?  A simple thank you?  This is unknown territory.

on another note - I have been trying to abstain from negativity....there is just so much of it everywhere.

Be the light you want to see.

I said.

What happens when you put that out there?  Negativity comes knocking on the door, dancing and shakin its rump right in your face.  And in your dreams, by the way.  I'm attempting to fight my way through and not engaging in conversation where there is opportunity to join in on the party.   All yesterday afternoon I opted to not answer my phone.....which may or may not have been wise considering people kept calling and then NOT leaving a message.

What else is my answering machine for?  It needs work people....otherwise it will just sit there and get fat.  No one wants that.

Blessings to us all for the mental discipline to fight the negative nelly's of the world, 

the Mrs.

Gains and losses

There's a lot of reflecting in weight loss.  On food, what we did right and what we did wrong.  Exercise...the various options and what works for you, what makes you recoil and pretend you have no idea that it has a benefit.   Techniques, counting, posture, steps, combinations of foods, beverages, water, water, water....  What made us gain weight in the first place?  Laziness, stuffing emotions, trying to fill a hole, confusing spiritual hunger for physical hunger?   When was the last time I was at this new weight?  What was I doing at that time in my life and what did I think about how I weighed at that time?

In the last week or so I've been reflecting on that last one and how it affects me today.   I've noticed a pattern in my loss.  Each time I reach a weight that I can connect with a clear moment, memory, life event....I stumble.  I stop and seem to nestle into it.  I gain.  I can't seem to figure out why though.   Is there something I need to address in that memory?   Something I need to come to terms with?  

I honestly don't know.....but those markers are a danger to my loss.....to my motivation.   I'm in that rut right now.   I had hit my weight watchers low of 165.4.....memory attachment.....I reached this weight after Mr and I went on the Atkins diet.  I was pregnant not long after.  It was a fun time in life....besides all the fear that I wouldn't be able to conceive.    Obviously I did.

Maybe it's simply the mental hurdle of then I couldn't believe that I was that heavy and I was disgusted with myself and now I can't believe I've come this far and I'm actually seeing a number that low.   What was high has now become low.  Maybe it's just the collision of two vastly different emotions over the exact same thing?

Whatever it is, the simple awareness of this pattern needs to be put to use.  I need to address each of those landmark numbers equipped to push through, find ways to refresh my motivation in those times.  I have a goal to make....it might not be a date at this point but it is a date with a number.   I know, I know, "it's not about a number, it's about being healthy" but lets be honest......healthy is sometimes represented by a number.  That's what represents healthy to me.

I wonder if it's very common for those landmark numbers to trip others up - I don't mean a plateau but more that mental rut.

I'm here now....I recognize the pattern.....and now it's time to get out of the rut, reignite the motivation and move forward again.  I have gained 4.4lbs in this rut.   Time to kick them back out and push for the 50's, I want that half way mark!  I want to kick 30lbs in the butt and leave it in the dust!

Blessings for a motivational kick in the rear!
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 20 - fresh start full of opportunity

+1   ridiculous.  

Mr's personal challenge has become a family challenge....at least for 3 of us.  The Dude has the same shape I do, chicken legs with a round belly over top.  He is very into doing things "as a family", that's his phrase.  So we've all discussed it and all three of us will participate.  I've done some "ideal weight" research for his age/height/gender and he only has about 13lbs to lose to hit his range.  

The goal will be 5lb increments to hit a reward.  $30 or 1 item - whichever is more - and we shop as a family for said reward to celebrate.  The dude will be the only one who can bank his reward to double it at the next 5lbs (there are some spendy Lego sets he has his eye on!).

This is going to be good on so many levels!  We will be working as a team and teaching our son about nutrition as we go, finding ways to work out together and defining what true health is BEFORE he hits middle school.  I think our language and dieting model has been good, he seems to have a good image of what foods are "healthy" but this will be a whole new interactive level of learning.   I'm excited for this.  Not just on a "weight"/body image level but the opportunities for conversation and bonding as a family before that season in life where kids start to pull away and feel that they can't talk to their parents.   

What a blessing this will be!

We haven't set out time frames or anything but Mr and I will have our goals and Dude will have his, not competing with each other but cheering each other on and encouraging good habits!

It's a good Monday people....even with an extra pound.......I think it's all St Patty's cream puffs by the way...I made them gluten free and they were heaven.....all 800 of them....   Okay maybe not 800 but it sure was close! :)

Blessings to you for setting and achieving your goals!

the Mrs.

Spring break and manly motivation

Spring break has been fabulous!  Mr took 3 days off this week so for 5 days we were a family of four.   I LOVE that.   We have laughed, shopped, watched movies, took down outdoor lights, tried to convince each other who should do the spring poo clean up, went to an art museum (with boyfriend in tow) and had a St Patty's day family gathering with friends which included a water fight - in MARCH.  That was crazy.

The Mr and I were back to making fat jokes and complaining about clothes.  We have both done horribly in the last several weeks.  Today he decided he needed a challenge....a motivation.   He is a golf NUT.  I mean he is crazy for it like a PMSing woman loves chocolate.  Yes, that's a lot.  So he was watching golf today after church and started lusting after the cool golf polo's.  Its funny what gets him excited....he is so laid back it's hard to get real excitement out of him but Golf does with ease.

There in lies the motivation for the challenge.....for every 5lbs he loses his reward is $30 to spend on golf clothes.  I tried to get excited about this.  I really did.  So we discussed reality, budget etc and I gave a wifely "whatever".  Then somehow he decided (guilty conscience?) that I should have the same offer but altered because I cannot possibly lose as fast as he does.  So he said $30 for every 3lbs.  "Think about it."

Official weigh in to start would be tomorrow.   Hmm......I've been telling myself that I do not want any reward until I can remove the 5lbs I put on over the last month or so that I've been struggling.  I certainly NEED the summer clothes.....and the motivation would be good....

Hmmm.....its the details I'm pondering.   3lbs seems awfully small to offer a reward for.....or is that the point?

I don't know what to do.

Any ideas?

Blessings of sunny spring time joy and energy to you, 

the Mrs.

weigh in monday 19 - grr arg

+.6   ugh.

We had a big dinner party on Saturday night.  There is a local brewery that Mr loves and he posed a challenge to others in love with this brew to attempt cooking anything they could come up with that was infused with any flavor of this beer.   And the people cheered.

For only 8 people - there was enough to feed an army!  Now granted I was responsible for nonalcoholic food, basically things that I could eat.   But baking does not equal weight loss.   I DID get on the treadmill almost every day though, so that is a step in the right direction.   But I can safely say that I did not drink anywhere near enough water the 2nd  half of the week.  Lots of mistakes were made.

I can safely say that I am way too easily influenced by my surroundings.  I am disappointed that I lost momentum somewhere along the line.....I had set expectations for myself that I would be WAY farther along by now.   I mean technically I should be leaping for joy, struggling for the finish line that was set to be ONE MONTH AWAY.  I'm not yet even to the halfway mark.  STILL.  I don't think that I set my expectations too high.....I think it was realistic.

Over the last few days as I've realized all this....I've been trying to contemplate what the deal is.  It's not the first time I've hit a certain spot and just settled into it.  An illness or reaction setting me back a bit is valid....but not for this long.  What I recognized was that each time I hit a familiar weight marker - a size/number that I clearly remember being at in the past - I seem to get stuck there for a while.   Not because I plateau in a physical way but something mental must happen.   I don't have it figured out but apparently for me, contentment along the way to my destination is a dangerous thing.

When I look in the mirror now, I don't see the absence of 25 lbs or any sort of WOW.  I have sat at this place long enough that my mind now just sees where I'm at and that it's still not where I want to be.  I no longer like the way my clothes fit and my hate for this jelly belly is steadily growing.   All things can be used for good though......

This needs to be used to fuel motivation.  Self discipline isn't my forte.   But we fall down so we can learn to get back up again, right Alfred? (Yes, that was a Batman reference)

It's spring break here this week. I have both kids home and my Mr has taken the last part of the week off so we can do something fun together.   Ahh.....timing.....you are soooo awesome.   Yep, this provides lots of challenges and temptations.   ....so do the leftover raspberry lemonade bars, the coconut banana nut bread and the container of ice cream for homemade shamrock shakes.....    DANGER Will Robinson! Danger!

Thankfully I do have lots of fruit and veg in the house....I just need to eat that instead! .....and stop eating the yummy sharp cheddar.....

What are you fighting this week to stay motivated and on track?  Do you have a game plan?

Ready? BREAK!  Lets go!

Blessings to you for motivation, the ability to say no and a desire to MOVE! :)
the Mrs.

weigh in monday 18 - inching forward

A whopping -.2 today but it's in the right direction.  I am grateful for forward momentum, however small it may be.  I feel like the pain is under as much control as it needs to be for me to get moving again.   My left shoulder is still in that "move me the wrong way and it's gonna hurt" groove but for the most part it feels fine.   So I now feel like I can put effort into moving again.

Everything is an opportunity right?  So here is my opportunity to start afresh - again - and move forward.  No looking back.   That is something that the Lord seems to remind me of so often and has really been using this weight loss journey to firmly implant this lesson.   Move forward.   Eyes on Him.   Looking back should only be to reflect and learn how to move forward more effectively....not to brood on past mistakes or pains.

The reduced movement allowed my mind too much time to roam.   This too is a good lesson.   Activity is good for the mind as well as the body.  I don't ordinarily turn on the TV during the day but Netflix called my name more times than I care to fully calculate.   My body did get it's rest but my mind didn't really need so much.

Back on the wagon again.  I managed 2 hours on the treadmill last night and it felt good to be back on that routine.  I'm off to the races.....which would be my lists for all things needing attention this week that didn't get it last week.  

Blessings on your week for fresh starts and forward momentum,
the Mrs.

Permission?

A question has been plaguing me since last Sunday.

Why do Christians need permission to act like Christ?

Mr and I sat in a meeting last Sunday at church and I found myself quietly listening to pastors excitedly talking about a ministry they'd like to start.....and the Lord telling me to "shut up and listen".  My face was probably quite loud compared to my voice because I think my eyebrows were actually sore from being furrowed in confusion.   Ultimately it was a lovely outreach idea but I kept thinking....um, Duh?   I loved their excitement and passion to mobilize people to reach out in their own communities, being salt and light to people who wouldn't ordinarily "do church".  

I ended up with more questions as to why this was needed than anything else.  

Why the need to formally organize people to reach out to un-churched people in their lives?  Shouldn't that be the natural flow of every Christian?   We come to Him by whatever means and then the growing process starts, we learn and slowly we become equipped with Truth, filled with the fruits of the Spirit and then naturally we treat the world around us as an opportunity to be a skin-on representative of Christ.   We are to be Christ to everyone we meet regardless of their relationship to Jesus.  

So I wonder....why the need for this?  Is this not happening?   Are people not being Christ-like?  If not, then why not?  Are they not equipped or are they not mature?  Or both?   If so the root of the issue is not to send out a bunch of people who will effectively bring en-mass "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, they do not act like your Christ."  

Ephesians 4:11-16 uses repeated statements about equipping, building up the body, attain to the unity of faith and knowledge, to mature manhood, no longer be children, speak the truth in love, grow up in every way, the whole body, equipped, each part is working properly.....these are all the words I underlined in this section of scripture that was used.  Not one is about outreach but how the body needs to be attended to, developed, taught and equipped.  

John 15:4  "Abide in Me and I in you.  A the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me."

Which makes me go back to the beginning.....why do Christians need "permission" to act like Christ?  What is missing in the discipleship process if they don't know how to act like Christ?

Still thinking out loud.....still processing what it is that the Lord is trying to show me in this......and what He wants me to do about it.

Blessings of His love and mercy to be new today,
the Mrs.