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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

the rack

The humorous things that come up when you are losing weight.....

Sunday I posted on Facebook: "I can't see the belly beyond the boobs"?  It was hesitant and I ran it past Mr before doing it asking his opinion on the way I should phrase it....I said I felt weird using the word "boob" on facebook.....he didn't understand why......so I posted it and had several "likes" but no "comments".  Which was fine.... cuz otherwise....awkward.   Though that night my niece came by to go play volleyball with Mr and brought me a card.  I was confused as I read: "Congratulations! All the miserable trips to the treadmill are paying off!  I'm so proud of you!"   I looked at her and she said, "You can't see your belly past your boobs, that's a big deal!"   I laughed so hard.   And....felt kinda awkward.  BUT it was the sweetest thing!

So......on that note......everyone always says that the "girls" are the first to go when you lose weight. Right?  I've heard people talk about the "elevator" and how it always starts at the top.   This has always and continues to be true for me but while I was totally prepared for that particular area to shrink.....it isn't.  Not kidding.

Yes, I find it funny, and yes my husband finds this to be a gift from God.....but it surely baffles me.   As the rest of me slowly gets smaller....they look bigger.  Here's the crazy catch too.....I went in to Lane Bryant to discuss the impending 'over the shoulder boulder holder' issue.   The woman who does the sizing said that if your band size, or measurement around your ribs, goes down but your "cup" doesn't lose 'quantity' the cup size actually has to go UP to compensate for the smaller band.   Wha? was my basic response, along with many confused and bewildered exclamations of how crazy this was.

It got crazier.  Then I was told that the size I would need next....they don't carry.....it would be a "special order".......for real?  I mean this is a "big girl" store right?  No....I didn't say that out loud but in my head....ooooohhh yeah.....totally.   I did however tell her to remeasure me because she must be wrong.  Yeah......not so much.    I left and decided to just keep what I had until I absolutely NEED something different.....I purchased nothing.   So I am now a size that I cannot shop there for clothes anymore!  HOOOORAYYYYY!!! Yes, that was HUGE.....or less huge....technically.   But the underclothing situation will eventually hit the place where I HAVE to shop for something new......not exactly my fave shopping spree.  Why do sizes have to be so weird?

So.....anyway.....I happen to find this hilarious.    When I was skinny I was jealous that I didn't have much in the "girl" department, I gained weight and I thought the only good thing about it was that for the first time in my life I had cleavage...."like a real grown up woman".....now, I'm losing weight and totally fine, expecting, to lose a bit up top and.........they aren't going anywhere.     Granted.....my husband is going to be a very happy man if this continues.   I mean really.....I'm 5'3 when I get to 130lbs (my "lets see how I look and feel and then I'll decide if I want to lose more" goal) and the "girls" are still where they are at.....I have images of Jessica Rabbit and Dolly Parton in my head......now granted, when I look down I do not feel that I am anywhere  near those sizes and I've always thought God gave me a man's rib cage by mistake BUT as a short chick.....I wonder if I'll have balance issues.

Bountiful blessings to you all,
the Mrs. 

1 comment:

  1. HA! I am not losing my girls either. I kinda wish I would lose some of them but not enough to have them become udders! I got my 20 pound sticker today! WOOHOO AND I am .06 pounds from my key chain! I am down 21.4 Last week I only lost .6 and this week it was a solid 2 pounds! I love a 2 pound loss. I makes me feel like what I did worked.
    Hey....friend me on facebook! I am under Bren Haws

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